I really don't know what to do with this one. how do you have a fight with someone that you have never even raised your voice with? I have to talk to him about something but i know it's going to start a fight. Only cause we have two different opions on are relastionship. We have been dating for the last 4 months but He has spent all day every day with me for the last 3 weeks, slept in my bed, and stayed at my house. Not a problem I like him. He's a geat guy, other wise i would have told him to go home by now. But he says that we are still only dating. I don't know but to me it sounds more like we are seeing each other right? Should i say something to he or not? Do i start this fight?
2006-06-19 08:43:40 · 23 answers · asked by Kelli A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i just want to know were i stand. Can i still date other guys are what? He tells people that we are not together. But he's still here at my house with me!
2006-06-19 08:59:05 · update #1
You definitely need to define your relationship with him. I think you should make it clear you are a couple and that this relationship is exclusive now and if he can't handle that he needs to leave. This is worth fighting about because if he only sees you as dating then he believes he has the right to be sleeping with other women still and I don't think you want him sharing your bed every night if that is the case.
2006-06-19 08:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it, but i think that you need to start thi fight. Don't let him or any man run over you. If you guys are still "dating" in his words then he shouldnt be staying there for 3 weeks straight like you guys are a couple. Of course its not a problem that he has been there because of course you do like him and that is fine, it is just that is still early in the relationship and it might come out being that you will want your space at times and he might argue with you about it and bring about that issues that in the begaining he stayed there for three weeks at a time and you never said anything. I understand your concept of not wanting to argue but we all have our ways, dislikes and likes and have every right to express things that might make us feel uncomfortable whether it leads to an argument or not. Its not the arguing part that should matter, it should be how you argue that makes all the difference..Good luck
2006-06-19 08:53:53 · answer #2 · answered by aruba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know why this would cause a fight, but I think it's somethign that's important to be clear about. There's no point in continuing in a relationship that cannot evolve into something greater. If it's not going anywhere, cut your losses and move on. Otherwise, be understanding of what he needs also, and just initiate the conversation. There is no reason for an argument here.
2006-06-19 08:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well men see dating as a relationship while women see it as casual. I think you should calmly sit down and discuss with him what you are looking for in this relationship. Labels are confusing, so tell him what you want - listen to what he wants, and move on from there. It doesn't matter what it's called, it only matters that you guys are on the same page. So you should say something, but it doesn't need to be a fight. You might be surprised, he's been there for 4 months, he probably feels the same way, but he's a man, so he doesn't know what to call it. He might be downplaying it thinking you aren't where he is. Sit down, talk to him, and tell him how you feel honestly and without anger. You'll figure it out. Good luck
2006-06-19 08:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by tinydancer42001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm. Tough one. I sound to my like the guy is not a fan of commitment. For some reason, titles can freak some guys out. It definitely sounds like you guys are a couple. If it's the actual lack of title that's bothering you, then I would think about letting that slide. It's not that important in the long run. But if by saying that you're only dating, he means that he's seeing other people and you're not okay with that, then I would definitely talk with him. The discussion would only be as scary as you make it. If you approach it more lightheartedly like you're just having a discussion then it is less likely to turn into a fight. He'll likely only get angry if he feels pressured, but if you're relaxed and just talking then hopefully he won't get frustrated.
2006-06-19 09:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by JM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are looking for words of commitment that go with the actions that are going on.
There is no subject that should cause a fight between two people that truly care about each other. How can he be mad at you for wanting a clarification about where your relationship is?
If he does get upset or become defensive then his reaction shows you what kind of person you have let into your life... then you'll have another whole set of questions to ask...
2006-06-19 09:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may commence a discussion, but you have a right to know where you stand. Remember, you are (supposedly) taking yourself "off the market" for this guy (or maybe you're not). If you are, its understandable to want to know whether there's a good reason for doing so, or whether he is just using you for his own selfish pleasure.
I hope in bringing it up, things don't devolve into a fight, but if it does, stay cool and make sure its because of him - then you can rest easier. There is never anything wrong in discussing matters of mutual concern. That's how you learn if you're compatible.
You deserve a good partner.
Good luck
2006-06-19 08:50:34 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. October 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is simple. What do you want out of the relationship? Do you want to date him? Exclusively? Or Other people? Do you want to be or need to be with just one person right now? Is he seeing other people as well? If he is seeing other people and you are not, then shame on you! Why is it only OK for him and not you! I would talk with him right now. Find out where you stand, after all it is YOUR home and not his. If you have any children in your home, how does this look to them? Arent you worried about what they think as well? Smarten up, listen to your heart and make the right decision. The longer you wait, the harder this will all become for you.
Good Luck
2006-06-20 05:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by mailbox1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you assuming that this is going to be a fight? The two of you should be able to sit down and talk about your expectations for your relationship--although you can call me old-fashioned, but I always thought "dating" and "seeing each other" were the same thing...
2006-06-19 08:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by besoseda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont say a word. Just have some big, well hung stud come pick you up for a date when he's there sometime. He will change his mind about commitments right then. Even better if the stud that picks you up is a different race then your b/f, for some reason this drives most guys apesh!t...
2006-06-19 08:49:50 · answer #10 · answered by slick_pavement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋