I'm gonna snap?

Question

I'm going crazy. My life is the same SHlT everyday. Work, sleep, computer, gym, no life.

Everyday when I drive to work once I get on the highway I hope for some drunk driver to hit me and kill me. Some tired truck driver to crush my car, or a deer to jump in front of my car.

I though things were gonna be different after college but I went from 100% happy to total hell. The only woman I ever meet here are sluts, reliougos freaks, and users. (The user relationships are usally two weeks long then my heart gets ripped out (they get back with an X) and ALWAYS at about the one month mark I get a phone call. "Oh, your the only one that ever listened")

I am so sick of this!

Its funny whenever I get some good luck. Right after REALLY REALLY BAD LUCK happens.

Ok first off, no I don't believe in god. We as humans take complex things and simplfi them. (Simple example LOL)The God question is so big and so complex we can't answer it right now. If you haven't noticed people use it as a fourm of control.

I know that I have to do something to change things. I know my anxiety doesn't help things. Also being able to read people doesn't help.

I try to be a happy person. One can only take so much.

I've seen a psycholosgist about 10-11 times. I'm also reading some books right now. Since I can't afford to go.

I like being more self aware. I've lost 10lbs since reading. Its kinda leveling off now though. My body might be adapting?

My life has improved since I don't believe in god. If you want to know more about how and why this happened feel free to message me about it. I've been able to solve alot of other problems because of it.

I know I need a change. I basically want to move to the West Coast and get a job assicoted with my degree. Or anything that I can live off of. I know I need a change. I have to save enough money at my dead-end job to get out of here.

Answer 1

have you heard of c.b.t cognitive behaviour therapy? i suffered realy badly from depression for years it started when i was 14 and got worse as i had my 3 children but then a doctor refered me for c.b.t and it was brilliant honestly i still get lows but then thats just life c.b.t really shows you a different way of looking at things and it lasts too and no pills which is fab! hope you feel better soon x

Answer 2

Do not wish anything bad on yourself. Especially death. You have so much to live for even though it may not seem like it now. Little do we all know, we all touch someone's life in one way or another and you may not know whose life you're making an impact on.
Have you ever seen the Christmas movie It's a Wonderful Life? The main character got to a point in the movie where he wished he was dead. An angel was sent from heaven to show him how everyone he knew turned out from him not being there. And trust me, they were not better off without him.
I know life may seem so overwhelming right now, but don't give up. I don't know if you believe in God, but he's there for you and he's waiting for you to come to him. Pray and keep the faith. Also know you do make a difference. I pray that things get better for you. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

I know you don't believe in God but maybe it's time to try something new. Just give it a shot. I did. I had a hard time accepting God as being "absolutely true" as well, but I just prayed about it, and now there's not a doubt in my mind. Try not to be so close-minded. I think we've all felt like you feel now at some point, I know when I did, I was willing to try anything I could to take the pain away. If psychiatrists aren't helping you ...... God Bless.

Jade

Answer 4

Don't give up. Life is full of ups and downs. Honestly, if you offer a bitter attitude toward things--all you get back is bitterness. Try enjoying the little things. Go to a park and watch how happy folks are to just be outside and kicking up their heels. The right one will come along. You just may not be watching because you are just waiting for something bad to happen.

Answer 5

Life can sometimes be rubbish, but the thing I find is to keep active and positive. I think having many hobbies stop me from getting bored, I don`t have any girl friend either, but I go out playing cards and treat this like a hobby and it is through this hobby that I made friends (no girlfriend yet) and as long as you don`t just sit around doing nothing, you wont get depressed.

Answer 6

hm, you can disregard my answer, since i totally believe in God, but i'm not a slut nor a user so i may be slightly credible.

i know what you mean about the part where you hope something happens to you on the way to work. it sounds like you really need a change in life-i've thought similar things when i feel like i need something else.. when i decide not to be content with what i have in my life already. it's finally tapering off, though. maybe you should book some time off and buy a plane ticket to a place by yourself and stay in a hostel where you'll be forced to have some fun, and it'll be a change of scenery. even if it was a week or so-

you sound a lot like my brother. he can read ppl very well and looks so deeply into things that his life is just not doing it for him. it's like he can't enjoy parts of his life because he knows the truth and he can't live a lie. he's got everything he could ever want but still considers it the same old sh!t. you may feel like you're gonna snap. if you really feel like that and can't get out of town from work, get a room at a hotel by yourself and rent a favorite movie or go ride a rollercoaster before going to your hotel or something because it sounds like you might just need a break and a bit of a release.


as for the dating thing... i totally, Completely know where you're coming from. it doesn't matter how good or bad the relationship is going, the expiration date is always set around the month mark. and each time i get the guts to give dating another try i get my heart ****-kicked again. it usually has to do with their exes as well. it's sick. and most of them date me, i swear, so they can bang me and use me for a bit anyway. and after around a year they always come back with some sentimental crap that i can never stoop to believe.

sometimes i'd like to scream and crash my car too, no joke. i think most ppl have thought about what would happen if they went head on into the next semi on the freeway... but instead i make it a point to always take a yearly flight to either a diff city or even country by myself so i can recharge and be away from everything. sometimes i switch things up a bit. i'll leave our house in the middle of the night and sleep in my car on the other side of the city just to feel human again. i've smashed glass bottles in an alley, gone for jogs in the graveyard, 'worked out' at the office after hours by dancing like a retard to music i'd never admit listening to and left money on ppl's windshield's.

from the outside ppl might think i have it all together and i may seem quite calm and content. maybe i do... but i only have it together because of the crazy things i do to stay sane. i've had my run of bad luck too and i don't feel like explaining.

i think the worst would be me succumbing to a life of boring and ruttiness (sp?). and a few years ago the crazy things i used to do would be more self-serving (like smoking weed in wierd places, climbing buildings or breaking glass bottles), but i've recently been working in child protection with a charity and am signing up to do relief work out east. i've finally found a path i want to pursue (which hopefully my professional life will entwine) and am working for other people who need it. i just have to make sure i take care of myself and know when to take a break.

now that you've read all that crap, my main point is this: you say you have no life, but you sound like you have a good foundation for one. your life is worth something regardless of what is going your way. maybe you're not doing what you are supposed to be doing in life. maybe you just need a break!

Answer 7

Maybe you need to move out of the state entirely and make a fresh start, somewhere less populated and more laid back. Wisconsin is nice,especially around Madison.

Answer 8

I think sanity and crazity :) are the same thing, only one is socially accepted and the other one is not.
Sit back and enjoy life, and Gosh have sex with someone!!

Answer 9

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger.. there Tonto...

dido...