On Father's Day I asked them to do just one thing with me (they live with their mother) - I wanted them to go with me to a pizza party for some young orchestra musicians, and they made up lame excuses. I said, "Can't you do just this one thing with me for Father's Day," and they said, "No." So they went home to their mother. P.S. I am a good dad - fair, considerate, and I only want to see them more. But I think they are self-centered
2006-06-19 07:47:42 · 21 answers · asked by Cão Bravo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry they hurt you but remember children are often very self centered and can't even imagine considering someone else's feelings above their own. Be patient and continue to be a good dad, who is fair and considerate your actions will one day manifest itself in your children. Maybe have them pick an activity or interest they want to do and you go with them....that makes them think they are doing the choosing and you get the added pleasure of getting to spend time with them. Its sad but in this world of divorce and split families too many times the dad's who want to be involved and spend time with their children are forgotten, one day your children will realize they are lucky to have a dad who cares for and is there for them....hang in there and good luck.
2006-06-19 07:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Did it occur to you that they may have been hurt that you booked a pizza party for young orchestra musicians on a day that should have been a special day for them to have you to themselves?
Would they have agreed to stay with you if you could have done something else together?
Don't equate their not wanting to go to a pizza party for people they don't know - with not wanting to be with you. That sounds whiney and unfair and even a little self-centered.
2006-06-19 15:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by mom of Em 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well asking them to go to a pizza party FOR young musicians isnt asking them to go out with you. If i was in their place, I would say no to. i mean who really wants to go to a pizza party with their dad and people they dont know? haha not me.&& by the way, ur not that great of a parent if you go around telling random strangers your kids are self-centered. I dont blame them for not wanting to go out with you. Next time invite them to something else. And remeber that they are growing up and they need space. Lots of space. more space. LOL
2006-06-19 18:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such a broad question, so little information. Did you spend time with them when they were little? If they are not in the habit of spending time with you, you will have to keep trying. You can't just decide one day you want to spend time with your kids, and expect them to want it, too. Being a dad is not just a Father's Day thing, its a lifelong committment, it takes work, and it won't always go the way you want.
2006-06-19 14:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the reason they didn't want to spend time with you was because they weren't going to spend time with you. You asked them to go to a pizza party for young musicians; you didn't ask them to spend time with you. If I were you I would talk to them and next time ask them to spend time with you at the park, swimming, etc. Something you can all do together, just you and the kids.
2006-06-19 14:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by Darryl E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much time have you spent with them? How old are they? There are a million and one reasons as to why kids don't want to spend time with their parents depending on how they were raised and what their ages are. Teens don't generally want to spend time with their parents, because they're busy being too cool (no matter how close you are) unless you're allowing them to do something that parents don't want their kids to do (like sex and drugs). Like I said it depends on any number of things.
2006-06-19 14:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by No one of consequence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you know that poison is spewed from both parents and unfortunately their mother has custody and her poising them about you last longer and yes so many woman poison their children mind to the point that they can grow up hating you. I am surprise that you have no knowledge of that.
2006-06-19 15:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by kilroymaster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they didn't want to be told what to do with you. They may have already made plans for you, but you jumped the gun by telling them you already had plans for them What fun is that? You may never know what kind of plans they had made for you. Do you also tell them what to get you for your birthday or Christmas? Don't you think maybe they might want to surprise you?
2006-06-19 14:56:55 · answer #8 · answered by Cosmic I 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down with them and have a long talk about how hurt you felt.. I mean, hey.. it was YOUR day, and you should have been able to do what YOU wanted to do. You wanted your kids to come with you, and when they said no, you felt hurt. I understand that. They obviously don't realize that. They may not realize how much their parents mean to them until it's too late. Talk with them. Have your ex talk to them too. Maybe they will listen to her.
2006-06-19 14:53:48 · answer #9 · answered by knifelvr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they are self-centered but it could be the age. Teenagers are, but that's normal...don't worry about it too much. I doubt it's anything you're doing wrong..
2006-06-19 14:50:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋