How to be true to yourself?

Question

I find I am paranoid about being too know-it-all, dominant and mouthy. I have had a lot of life experience, some big knocks and I like to cut to the chase. Sometimes if people come to me with their problems (happens a lot) I feel I can see their situation or the answer all too clearly and so I say it. I also don't let people get away with rudeness or insensitivity, when others would stay quiet. Can you dig? Where does one draw the line between assertiveness, rudeness, honesty, helpfulness, politeness...? It's a question we all have to deal with. I think you should always be true to yourself and speak from the heart, despite the consequences, but sometimes it's hard to be different... what do you think?

Answer 1

Some of my best friends are people who, like you, tell it like it is and don't 'pull any punches.'
You should absolutely stay true to yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't hold back comments sometimes when you feel they wouldn't be well received or if they might be hurtful. You don't have to lie, but if you can spare someone's feelings by holding your tongue, then maybe that would be a good idea.

Remember, not everyone wants to know the truth, they are happier in their delusions. So, by pointing out what may be obvious to you, you will make then angry or sullen.

Think of your wisdom and life experiences as having value and don't be giving them away free every time you open your mouth. Instead, let others learn from their own mistakes and strive for their own life experiences.

Answer 2

My daughter has the same problem and I have told her to be very aware of other people's responses to you.. nonverbal as well or maybe more importantly than verbal. You can come across as very overbearing and aggressive when you feel you are only being yourself. That is probably true, but being yourself is sometimes overwhelming to naturally retiring shy people. You MUST observe other people to see if they are physically withdrawing from you, if they are...back off!! Good luck!!

Answer 3

Excuse me. If you don't mind trying to be a bully, then I don't mind knocking you out when I was doing nothing to deserve your kind consideration to treat me like your fool, thinking I would put up with your egotistical attitude and wimp out like everyone else who should have taught you a lesson when you were a toddler, then you wouldn't be in this state of mind, in a quandary over respecting people for who they are, second guessing yourself over the fact that someone may land a fist up side your head, but as adults we're not supposed to do that in the light of day in front of goody two shoes witnesses and old ladies who will sing like canaries to the police and land me in jail, so let me invite you into a dark alley and straighten this whole thing out in a New York minute.
Have a nice day, and pick yourself up from your timid honesty afraid to tell it like it is, show no weakness or fear of paining some asshole who comes along with malice of intention, or else he'll rattle your cage and put you into a deeper neurotic quandary chain reaction to your ending day.

Answer 4

I also have that problem,I guess it comes with age and experiences in life.If I am asked a question or my opinion,I tell them my honest opinion or answer to the best of my knowledge.If a person doesn't want to hear my honest opinion then they should not ask! To lie and say what they want to hear is being untrue to yourself and the other person! If someone asked me"do these jeans make my butt look fat" I'm going to say "no your fat butt is what make the jeans look that way"

Answer 5

Frankness is hard to swallow, but it is good. So always bear in mind to be sensitive to the persons you are trying to help, otherwise it defeats the purpose.

Answer 6

as far as being TOO know-it-all. prehaps you should try shutting the fu*k and listening to what other people have to say WITHOUT putting your two cents in everytime.

Answer 7

Very simple, say what you mean, mean what you say and stick to it!

Be responsible for your words and your actions!