ok my boyfriend and I have a 2 year old daughter and my parents just took her to the doctors for me 2 and a half hours away the doctors tokld her that she has a sist on her eye that has to be drained. My mom said that she cant take her up for that and Im not comfortable driving 2 and a half hours away by myself so I asked my boyfriend to take us and he said he probably couldnt get off. Now I know he has a strict working enviroment but dont you think he should do everthing in his power to get off? I'm the mom I do everything and this is all I ask from him. Whats more important? His stupid *** job which pays nothing or his daughter? Help what should I do?
2006-06-19 07:08:37 · 32 answers · asked by moodymouse54 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You should be able to drive your child yourself. Just be extra careful when driving and make sure you carry a cell phone or know where pay phones are just in case of emergency. But, you can't depend on other people your whole life. Some things you have to do yourself.
2006-06-19 07:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by corbeyelise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't your daughter have a doctor alot closer than two hours away? What if she were really sick like the flu where its not an emergency but she still needs to see a doctor asap?
Get on the phone and find a doctor locally that can see her. The doctor two and a half hours away is too impractical to use unless he's a specialist and there's no others between you and him. (Which I doubt).
Get a local doctor so you can get your daughter to the doctors whenever she needs to go without it being a major issue or a long drive.
2006-06-19 07:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by neona807 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course your daughter is more important, but is your husband the only bread winner? if yes then he does have to be extra careful in his eyes about his job so he can continue to take care of his family. if you work too and can get the time off then he needs to sit down with his boss and detail the situation that he needs to be with his wife and daughter when she has this proceedure done. make sure you find out how many if any follow up appointments she may need so he can be there for them if you want that or maybe your mom can come on those days. either way your daughter needs her mommy and daddy for reasurance, she will be scared and having the two of you there will help her feel safer. is there no closer facility that can take care of this issue?
just be firm, not mad or accusatory, lay out the facts for your husband. tell him you are not comfortable driving that far alone and that this is about your 2 yr old toddler and it is a family thing that you both need his presence and support with. make him sound really needed and don't scream or yell as this will cause him to feel obligation in a negative sense. instead of saying to him, "what is more important, your job or our daughter", that will put him on the defensive, try saying something like "i know how important our daughter is to you, and we would feel so much safer and secure with you there, will you please take the day off and come with us, we need you". bottom line is he should be there for his two girls. the doctors may even let you both be in the room and maybe each of you can hold her little hands even if she is sedated. if she is awake then she will be calmer knowing mommy and daddy are with her.
2006-06-19 07:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by kaylamay64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem pretty adamant that she is HIS daughter. Isn't she yours too? Why aren't YOU taking her to the doctor instead of YOUR parents? Are there any doctors locally that will see her? Seems to me if distance is the problem, you should try and get this taken care of locally. If this is something a specialist at a hospital needs to take care of, contact the hospital and see if they have a Ronald McDonald house. You and your daughter could be transported there by whomever the night before the appointment. Your boyfriend may be her father but YOU are her mother. Do whatever You have to to get her the care she needs. Sounds like your boyfriend may be trying to take care of the 3 of you and needs this job to do it. Find some sort of compromise.
2006-06-19 07:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by mom2pnuts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you a question....what's more important to you, you being uncomfortable for the 2 and a half hour drive or your daughter? I know it sucks doing things you don't like to do, but it's your daughter and she needs you to step up and be responsible. If she can't rely on your boyfriend, then you be the one to take care of her and take her. Plus you may get over being uncomfortable driving far away distances which is good too.
2006-06-19 07:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by heaven_sent0301 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two problems. 1) your child's cyst in her eye, and 2) the dynamic between you and your boyfriend.
With that said, you must take care of your child first and foremost. Take care of everything else second. After you drive her or have a friend drive you to take care of the cyst, then reevaluate the relationship with your boyfriend.
Just don't let the child suffer in any way because you and your boyfriend can't resolve things...
PS - why is the doctor's so far away?
2006-06-19 07:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by truthyness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your daughter needs immediate attention. I think you are both wrong. You need to get over you "phobia" of driving too far by yourself. If he wasn't around you would not have a choice. Depending on his job, it may be tough to get off, I don't know. Would I leave work? Yes, and have done so several times. But it depends on the severity of the problem, how good the job is, and the real reason you won't go by yourself.
2006-06-19 07:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by jay 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself a question. That question is if he lost his job because of taking her to the hospital would yall be able to survive??? He may very well want to but cant because of office politics. There could be something going on at work to where he is relunctant to take off.
2 1/2 hours is not bad. I drove my mother 4 hours from Columbus, GA to Augusta, GA at the age of 16. But my mtohers life was worth it. Your daughters life is worth it. Suck it up and drive her. Just keep a cell phone on you.
2006-06-19 07:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by ga_peach207 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do it kiddo. Put that 2 year old in the car seat and taker her to the doctor. If you are grown up enough to have a 2 year old, your grown up enough to take her to the doctor. If you still feel insecure about it, take a friend. You should be glad your boyfriend is working.
2006-06-19 15:48:45 · answer #9 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ya know a perosn does have to have a job so he can pay bills weather u says it does or not it must do something unless he works for free and either confront him or get some balls ur self and drive up there u talk about him not caring. ur the one that sounds like doesnt care about ur daughter cause u could always drive up there urself get some balls and guts or give ur child to someone that will care for her good since u dont seem to be able to do it
2006-06-19 07:16:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋