Should I stay or should I go?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 years:
He leaves in the middle of the night and does not return home till 6am.
He leaves me with his kid so that I cant go do anything.
He has no trust in me to have any friends.
Complete control freak.
Tells me over and over that I need to get professional help. For my past problems. {Father comitted suicide}
He tells me he loves me.
He does a lot for me. But he tells me I am ungrateful. Like I dont do anything for him.
He is a slob. He cant pick up after himself or his kid.
He doesnt even know how to use the laundry or dish washer.
The problems go on and on.
To top it off he and I work completely different scheduals.
I work 8-5 he works 5pm to 2am.
We never see each other. Only on weekends.
I feel like I am a personal maid, wife, babysitter, ect.....
I dont have my own kid. I am not married.
I feel like I have to much on my plate for me to handle.
I would just like some input. Anyone ever gone through this? What was the outcome? What did you do?

We dont ever go out when we actually have time together. He would rather sit infront of the tv and play video games than spend time with me or his son.

Answer 1

leave him, hes not gonna change

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like he cares about you, nor does it sound like it's a healthy relationship. I would advise leaving him and his kid, because all that's really happening right now is him 'freeloading' off of you - you give him all your 'services' and help around the house while he doesn't give you any love or respect in return.

I've never experienced this (I'm a little too young for that) but it doesn't sound like an ideal situation to me. If you looked at your situation from a different point of view, maybe another person, would you want to be in this situation?

Good luck with this! Remember, you are free to do what you want, and you deserve a healthy relationship with love involved.

Answer 3

Not what you want to hear, but it sounds like he is playing you and you know it in the back of your mind, but do not want to accept it due to abandonment issues (due to you father abandoning you via suicide).

I was engaged to a similar man to 3 1/2 years and after I trusted my gut and broke it off, he was engaged to another girl within a month!

I can understand how you feel as I never knew my father...abandoned me when I was 2, so you feel connected of sorts with being with this man, but if he really doesn't complete you, support you and be there for you and YOUR NEEDS, you are better off without him.

I don't know your situation and you have to make your own assessment, but it sounds like you are very unhappy now. It is up to you how you choose to live your life.

Answer 4

I think you need to do what's right for you. Obviously he is dependant, but that'll change real fast. You seem to be in a possition where it'll need to be a bold decision. But find a family member that can take you in or a friend and stay there for awhile. Alot of times people will get the point and want to fix it. He needs to do some changing, he just may not know it

Answer 5

Try to move on. You don't have kids and are unmarried. You can still find someone. If you take care of his kids then why is he saying that he does stuff for you and you're ungreatful? You're taking care of his kids for God's sake. If you rarely see each other then he should want to spend time with you when you are both at home and not leave at night coming back at 6a.m.
I think your problem is him, otherwise you woudn't be writing about him on this forum. You should go.

Answer 6

Hey hon, you answered your own question. Re-read what you wrote and try to see it as we do when we read it. Get out. You said it, he is a control freak. You may find yourself in the not so distant future with no phone, no car, no job, no contact with family or friends because he is jealous and doesnt' trust you. I have been there and that is exactly how I found myself. His slave with no self worth, self confidence, beaten down and alone. He could have a life, but my life had to be him and only him. GET OUT NOW...He won't change and if he does you don't have that much time to waste. Don't be his slave, be your own person. Good luck...take care.

Answer 7

Have you ever tried sitting down and talking to your boyfriend about how you feel? You don't need to be with someone that treats you like his house maid because to me that's what is sounds like..Do you guys go out together on the weekends or anything? I think you should move on and find someone that will treat you with the respect that he would want to be treated by...Sorry about your dad..Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

I have never been through this but as a single women with no kids I say run. Run fast, run hard and dont stop running until you cant see him when you turn around. You dont need this life your having with him. As long as you stay in this situation you will not find the life you were meant to live. Run.

Answer 9

GO quickly. you are a free babysitter and he is getting all the benefits.

If you like being the free babysitter and F**k buddy, stay. He isn't going to marry you. I have a friend that went through the same thing.

Answer 10

Have you ever wondered about the reason of our existence? Have you ever wondered why we die, and where we go after death? What will happen to us in the end? Have you ever asked yourself why God made the earth and all that is in it under man’s dominion? Why were the night and the day, and the sun and the moon created? What are we supposed to do during our lifetime? Were we created just to eat, drink, and enjoy ourselves before we die? As one poet put it:
“I do not know whence I have come.
I saw my feet walking on the road.
As they please I go and stop.
What am I doing here?
How did the road find me?
I do not know! I do not know! I do not know! ”

God has emphasized in many verses of the Qur’an that He did not create us without purpose. He said: “What! Do you think that I created you simply in jest? And that you would not be returned to Me?” (23:115) He also said: “What! Does man think that he will be left to roam at his will?” (75:36) In addition, He said: “Do people think that they will be left to say: “We believe,” and they will not be held accountable?” (29:2)
Indeed, God Has created human beings for a purpose and with a purpose: TO WORSHIP HIM ALONE (Monotheism). He said: “I have not created the Jinn and humankind except only to worship Me. I don't require provision or feeding from them. Surely Allah is the All-provider, the Possessor of all strength, the Firm.” (51:56-58) In fact, all prophets told their people to worship God alone (Monotheism) and shun worshipping His creation (Paganism). God said: “I assuredly sent among every people a messenger with the command: Worship Allah and avoid worshipping false gods.” (16:36)
Prophet Abraham, for example, believed in One God, who had no partner. Anyone who holds a different understanding of God than this has contradicted the religion of Abraham and follows falsehood. God says in the Qur’an: “Those who reject the religion of Abraham make fools of themselves.” (2:130)
Prophet Jesus was reported in the Gospels to have said: “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only’.” (Luke 4:8)
Prophet Jacob also said (in the Qur'an) to his people: “Indeed, those which you worship besides Allah are only names that you and your forefathers have established, for which Allah has sent down no authority. The command belongs only to Allah. He has commanded that you worship none but Him. That is the right religion, but most people do not understand.” (12:40)
Read more about the TRUE BELIEVE which supported by the Miracle Holy Quran :
http://www.islam-guide.com/islam-guide.pdf

http://www.harunyahya.com

http://muslimconverts.com

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Real happiness and peace can be ONLY found in submitting to the commands of the Creator and the Sustainer of this world. God has said in the Qur’an: (Truly, in remembering God do hearts find rest.)
(Qur’an, 13:28)

On the other hand, the one who turns away from the Qur’an will have a life of hardship in this world. God has said:
(But whoever turns away from the Qur’an, he will have a hard life, and We will raise him up blind on the Day of Judgment.) (Qur’an, 20:124)
This may explain why some people commit suicide while they enjoy the material comfort money can buy. For example, look at Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam), formerly a famous pop singer who used to earn sometimes more than $150,000 a night. After he converted to Islam, he found true happiness and peace, which he had not found in material success.
To read the stories of people who have converted to Islam, please visit

http://www.islam-guide.com/stories

At this web page, you can read the thoughts and feelings of these people, who are from different countries and have different backgrounds and levels of education.
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Answer 11

Girl it sounds like he just wants a babysitter u need to let him go and find a man that doesnt have so much babaage.

GOD bless you.