is my dad abusing me mentally?

Question

The past few times I have visted my dad he has told me that I have a puggy belly. I am 5'6" and weigh 130. I have a fairly large chest but I have never considered myself overweight. I wear a size 7 or 8 and wear medium-large shirts depending on how they are made. I checked on the internet and it said for my height that I am in the perfect weight category. He has really made me self-conscience and depressed, now I dont know what to do!! I tell him that I'm not and he gives me the look like I'm crazy! Can someone help me figure this one out?

Answer 1

Your dad is a jerk for saying this to you. Nothing like killing your own child's self confidence. My dad passed away, but I always remember him comparing me to a friend of mine....about how responsible he was and how come I couldn't be like that. Gee, thanks dad....we're suppose to look up to these so called role models.

Let me ask you this? Do you feel good? Are you comfortable with who you are and what you look like. If so, ignore him. I bet if I saw you, I would think your attractive....just an instinct. This father of yours....like mine.....is someone who lacked confidence in themselves and now are now reflecting this on their own kids. Horrible, just horrible. You are fine.....you definetly are NOT obese, that is for sure!

Answer 2

Yes he is mentally abusing you. You are not overweight. The problem with your dad and with society in general is this constant pressure to fit an image that these Super Skinny Models and Actors are how we should look. You have to be comfortable with your body and other people's opinions should not matter. Society in general puts too much emphasis on Image. Plus as a man I have to tell you, I'm not into those super skinny women with their bones poppin out of their skins. I prefer my women to have actual curves. Don't get me wrong, fitness is important for health reasons. I know exactly where you are coming from in regards to height and weight. I 'm 6'2" and I weight 250 lbs. I'm not overweight at all and I am very active: the gym, biking, running. However, I will never weigh under 200 lbs. I just don't have the frame to be that skinny. I think a lot of these weight charts don't take into account a person's body frame. You have no reason to be self-conscience or depressed.....your weight is fine and be proud of who you are.

Answer 3

save the textual content. coach your mom. if she would not care i'd tell someone at your college you may believe. Like a coaching counselor or instructor. that's severe he can no longer manage you want this. If no longer some thing else, pray to God. he may also help you in this time. He loves all of his little ones and he may also help you by this. i visit wish for you. I desire you the finest of success. yet PLEASE talk to an grownup about this. this can be a kind of kid abuse. Please search for an grownup. God Bless. OH and that i completely accept as true with MARILY...some thing. Do your maximum appropriate conceivable in existence. he's merely disenchanted because he's a loser human being with out self esteem in any respect. he's a few 40 some thing guy attempting to p.c.. on a teenager? HAHA What does that say about him?! What a loser. dangle in there female. heavily, what a loser. coach HIM incorrect. never provide up. never EVER EVER EVER provide up. positioned a grin on that captivating face. :)

Answer 4

No, he's not. He's telling you the truth. Seriously. You are 5'6" and weigh 130?! Damnit, son. What the hell? I'm sure you have a puggy belly. Don't hate your dad for being honest. Maybe YOU should try being honest with yourself. Try maybe excercizing. That might work. Or maybe go on a diet. Seriously, I'm not even kidding . It's for your own health dude.

Answer 5

Over half of teen girls and young women report a negative body image. That is; most young women are self conscious about their body. There is a reason for this. The media with their super skinny models and movie stars who throw up every 10 minutes to look skinny are ruining peoples body image. And, friends and family have a great influence on this also. A negative body image is one of the hardest things to overcome. He is a man and probably doesn't understand that telling a girl that can negatively affect every aspect of your life.You should tell your dad how you feel and if he doesn't respect your feelings, then maybe you should reduce face to face contact and limit visiting to the telephone until he feels that he can respect your feelings.

Answer 6

I'd say that he is definitely causing you to have a skewed body image. Have you talked to your dad and told him how it makes you feel? Has he seen the evidence to show that you are at a good weight for your height? Have you talked with your mom?

It's time to start voicing your feelings. What your dad is saying to you it not only not a very nice thing for a father to say, but it also very wrong. If he continues to do it after you talk to him - I'd just quit visiting him. You don't need to be around a father who says things like that to you. Maybe your not wanting to see him will snap him out of it and he'll start treating you better.

Answer 7

Mental abuse can affect family members very severely. It can cause extreme distress and damage people's relationships for a long, long time.

I can't speak for your father, but his form of criticism may just indicate that he is concerned about your health. Instead of just coming right out and expressing his concern, he mixies it up with what he might think is a helpful solution to what he may see as a problem. If this is all he's doing, then I don't think this comes close to abuse.

If he continues to comment about your weight and figure, I suggest you don't hold back, but tell him what you know about the facts concerning weight and health. You don't have to let him bring you down. If you love him, then tell him lovingly that you are quite happy with the way you are, and that maybe he can be happy for you.

Answer 8

Your father is one of the reasons anorexia and bulemia are big problems in our society. You said you're a size 7 or 8? That is very healthy and I'm sure you look great. Talk to your mother and see if she'll tell your father to zip his mouth. If she won't help or he refuses to stop, tell him you don't wish to see him. In most states you have the legal right to refuse to visit a non-custodial parent if that is your wish. You're father is arrogant and immature. I'm sorry you have had to put up with this.

Answer 9

I doubt your father is trying to hurt you, but its evident that he probably not a very smooth character...... he wants the best for you, and i think he's only trying to "kick start" you into doing something that he feels you can change.... although his method is perhaps lacking to say the least...
be happy with who you are... be happy that your not 5'6 and 200 pounds.... if you want to lose a little bit of wieght you have that option, but it doesn't sound like your overwieght by very much, if at all...

Answer 10

sounds to me like maybe you have an issues here, i had a stepdad who did something like that to me, but it turned out he wanted me to quit wearing baggy clothes (i was a tomboy), and i later found out that he was just wanting to stare at me all day. Now this was a stepdad so im not saying the same of your father, but maybe he is just ridiculing you for an underlying reason...like he may be unhappy with himself or something and just taking it out on everyone around him......i don't know. but i would consider that mental abuse and yes your body type is perfect for your height so dont listen to him.

and tell those assholes above who say you are fat to go to hell....they apparently do not know and think that all people should have ribs showing to be healthy...