Help....My Mother in Law (MIL) is driving me crazy?

Question

My MIL watches my daughter while I am at work. Which is 4 to 5 days a week 9 to 10 hours a day. However, that is not good enough. She thinks she is suppose to have her on the weekends or anyother time that she sees her. I have also found out that she has given my 5 mth old, 3 mths at the time chocolate, orange jucie and other things. I feel so derespected its crazy. Not only have I asked her not to give my child anything, she is being sneeky and doing it anyway. I am also annoyed at the fact that she smothers my child. Does anywho have advise about this. I use to like the MIL. Now I can't stand her.

Answer 1

Flat out tell her that baby's aren't supposed to have quantities of OJ and Chocolate till there like 1 and that if she doesn't let you have ur time w/ ur kids on the weekends you'll find a new babysitter all together these are you kids and you want them raised your way and that u appreciate that she wants to spend time w/ them but she raised her kids let ur do your's.

My MIL is the direct opposite like shes a teacher and so shes off during the summer so instead of staying here to spend time w/ her grandson shes off on one vacation after another like one week thats fine but shes leaving for a two week trip to BALI, WHO DOES THAT?!?! Sorry i felt like venting lol...But seriously just sit her down and tell her how you feel she has to do it your way they are your kids.

Answer 2

I would find someone else to watch your daughter. I watch 2 of my 6 grandchildren 5 days a week and I am raising 2 others. Of the 2 that I watch, one is almost 8 and the other is almost 2. If I want to give them something that I am not sure of I call my daughter at work and ask. When she said that the children were not eating dinner and asked me to stop all snacks at 3pm. I complied. When your MIL gives your child things you ask her not to it can be dangerous. What if she has a reaction to something and she has lied about what she has given the child.It is a power struggle and it is your child. You have the upper hand, do something about it.

Answer 3

Well....first off I am probably the last person that should be responding to this because I have NEVER liked my MIL. I understand what it feels like to have a MIL that seems to want to do EVERYTHING you ask her not to, simply because she feels like she "knows" everything there is to know about kids since she raised her son. Am I right? I had to chose alternative daycare for my kids and tell my husband that HE had to choose which way of life was better for OUR children. I also told him that since she was HIS mother it is HIS responsibility to deal with her not ME. WE set up guidelines that WE want our children raised by and if she refuses to follow them then she also refuses to be a part of her grandchildren's lives. Regardless of all that she has done, she is JUST the grandmother and she HAS to follow the rules that you lay down. Also you set these rules based on what your doctor and your research on what is best for child has told you, right? Well wouldn't she feel terrible if because she decided to "try" whatever she sees fit, that something bad happened as a result. Isn't it better to error on the side of caution or what is in the child's best interest? Things that are made today just aren't what they were when they were made 20-30 years ago. Chemicals are ALWAYS being added and that is a risk you just aren't willing to make, right?

Okay I am done venting...I hope some of this dialogue helps.....After 3 years of fighting with my mother in law I saw a HUGE difference in her behavior. (Plus my oldest son was old enough to tell on her and tell her what was right and wrong - that made her see that her way wasn't always the right way.) Good luck!! (Oh by the way it has been 3 years since all of this happened & my boys are now 7,6,2 and things have gotten better, but I still don't like her. ;) )

Answer 4

If your mother in law is doing all these things, it is time to find someone else to watch your child! Feeding the child foods before the pediatrician allows them can lead to developing allergies. It also deprives the child of the main source of needed nutrition right now...formula. Until 6 months, breast milk or formula is all the baby needs. Most pediatricians will not introduce juice (watered down) until 6 months of age.

Please find another source of child care for your baby because it doesn't sound like your mother in law is going to respect your wishes.

Answer 5

Tell her you appreciate her caring for your child but you would like her to not feed her the chocolate, orange juice, etc as it is not good for a baby that age. Be strict about it and have your husband back you up or talk to her as well. Get your husband to reinforce your desires. I hope you are paying her for babysitting or else she can do whatever she wants if she's not paid for it.

Answer 6

I hope you are not using her for free day care and now complaining about her.

It's impossible to reform people who "raised children themselves" They always figure all my children lived so it will be ok.

I realize MIL are frustrating and usually overbearing but she can't be that bad she did make your husband after all.

Start phasing your kids into some summer activities and slowly start to not be so dependent on her for day care.

Answer 7

Tell her if she does not do things the way you want them done, you will get another sitter. Then proceed to tell her the only time she will see her grandchildren is on holidays and with your supervision.
Stand up for youeself and your children's health, both physical and mental.

Answer 8

If you have to ask this question on Yahoo, perhaps you should consider sterilzation for the good of society.

Answer 9

I would suggest finding a good day care or co-op.

Answer 10

Get a spine and get a sitter you trust.