can someone tell me where to find a good girl besides church?

Question

I am 30 ish, I just moved to tulsa OK a year ago. I am slender and ok looking to be honest.
I cannot find one girl I can be interested in, I date alot and I am being seriouse when i say that I can not find anyone that is just cool to be with. Does A-N-Y-O-N-E have any advice. This is no pick up line, there is a time and place for that and I am really looking for some good advice. lol no bars or churches.,... been there and done that, they are either alcho's or trying to change me.

Thanks for any help

OK good point on the whole maybe the universe is trying to tell you something... oh and I have a career, it is what I have worked for along time, so to the girl who asked "why did I move to tulsa?", you dont have to be so rude in asking. I was just looking for overall advice. Its not a bad town its the girls who I have met that at the church I attend, think that you should go every day you can to hear the same lessons over and over... twice a week is good for me.
I would really like to thank every one for the answers though... I really liked the "look on a street corner, like in pretty woman" nice but not happening.
I have tryed the book stores and the gym, they are my favorite spots to just be alone though, I will try to change the view on that. thanks again.

Answer 1

Finding a good girl is no good if she don't have the qualities that you are looking for, so get a general idea: what you bring to a relationship, where you want your next relationship to go, what do you need from a mate, and what qualities in women do you find attractive. After you answer those questions you are ready to move on to step two which is trying to locate women who fit your description. You have two options:

First option: Start pursuing your hobbies. The easiest way to find people that you have stuff in common with is by doing the things that you like. If it is art going to local museums, sports local recreational leagues, plays the local theaters, working out at the gym.

A twist on that is start pursuing new hobbies or following common hobbies of women that interest in you. Examples sign up to take Salsa lessons or some other form of dance, join the big brother/big sister program, start volunteering at local schools, go to wine tastings.

Option two:
Explain to your friends you want a woman, and tell them to start hosting pot luck dinners and mix and mingle parties.

Twist: You and a friend or coworker (preferable female) select a date for each other and do a double date.

Answer 2

In Tulsa, they keep the "good girls" in church. If you want one, that is where to go. Be prepared to be expected to change to fit in.

On the other hand, if you decide that a different sort is your style:
Take group dancing lessons. In some areas this is an excellent matchmaking activity.

If you did not want churches or bars, why did you move to Tulsa?

Tulsa is notoriously full of Southern Baptists who are officially prohibited from drinking and dancing and lots of other things. Though they are prohibited, they violate the prohibitions. So the bulk of people may well be found either in a bar drinking/dancing, or in church repenting for their sins. Sometimes it is the same group, out drinkin' on Saturday night, and in church with their hangovers on Sunday morning. It is kind of a bi-polar personality that naturally develops from unreasonable prohibitions, and addictions to the prohibited acitivity.

You complain that "they" are trying to change you. BTW, you are trying to change you. They are simply trying to help you make changes to fit into the way things work in Tulsa. The same would be true in many other "conservative" locations. If you don't like the way things work in Tulsa, many other cities might be a better fit. If you insist on living in Tulsa, and you want to find a match, perhaps change of some sort is necessary.

Answer 3

It's not silly to want to settle down with someone but it is silly to pursue an activity that you are not interested in just to meet women. Simply put: Live where your dreams are" and all else will fall into place. Have you lost touch with the things that make you happy? If so, think back. Remember the simple things that made you happy and then find them in your new location.

As far as women trying to change you: Is there one particular theme that keeps coming up with these women? If so, you might consider that the universe is trying to send you a message and you might work on it for the sake of your own personal development. Happy journey.

Answer 4

The Mall.4-show

Answer 5

Take your time, you are still young. Have a good profession/job and mix around more with ladies younger than you by say 5-8 years of age. At the beginning dont be too serious to any particular one. Do a bit of homework like asking around friends about the ones you think attract you, then pick your choice wisely....go out for gatherings to study their goods and bads character wise and so on... Dont rush into things lest you regret and have to start all over again. Meanwhile, do pray to God too for guidance... May God Bless you to meet the right partner for your life.

Answer 6

What kind of hobbies do you like? Say for example, you like sports. You can always look for a community league to join. You'll meet other guys to make friends with, hence people to hang around and do things with. These guys could have sisters or their wives/girlfriends might have some friends that might be a good match. Involving yourself in activities you enjoy will ensure you meet people with similar interests. Do things for yourself and go out there with an open mind. When you least expect it, you'll meet someone great. Good luck!

Answer 7

I'm not sure how it is over in OK... i live in Chicago, and it's a very diverse city, so you can find all kinds of women. But I guess the answer to your question is not a matter of where can you find a "good girl", but what exactly are you looking for and what constitutes a "good girl" for you. If you meet women in bars it does not mean that they are alchololics; also if you meet women in church, that does not mean they are holier that other women. What are you looking for? once you answer that question, then you will know where to look.

Answer 8

I'll tell you the same thing I tell the women who ask the same question.

Get your own life together. Get settled, be happy with who you are and do thing you like to do. In doing that, you're bound to meet people with similar interests. Like to bike? Join a bike club. Like to read? Go to bookstores and libraries. What type of things do you want to do with a future spouse? Do those things NOW, and you just might find her.

Answer 9

Depends what type of girl you are looking for. If you're looking for a girl into sports, try a gym. If you're into girls that shop, go to a mall. And if you really can't find a good girl, use the internet.
Good Luck!

Answer 10

I know it sounds bad, but have you tried the online sites? Bars are bad news, work is no good, and church, you've tried. Just making friends at least online can work because eventually someone knows someone and they'll recommend you.