we broke up a month ago, and she is dating someone new. I said ahem... that was a little fast to get over me, and she said actually no... I have been getting over you for the past 6 months (7 now), and I don't love you anymore... And the day I was dumped... I loved her as much as I did when I moved to Sweden for her. um, wtf? Am I the messed up one here at all? is there something I did? or is she as big of a jerk as she seems to be. She said she gave me signs... but I didn't know they were signs that she was gonna go away to london for a week with her dad and sister, and come back from her trip and dump me as soon as she sat down. after 4 years! ooh, hatred... bubbling...grrr. calm me down tell me what i'm not understanding here!!
2006-06-19 05:52:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is a huge jerk for doing that and being so heartless about it. I can understand her reasoning behind some of her actions though (sorry!). I have been in a long term relationship like yours too where you think you don't love a person anymore but stay with them because you are afraid of screwing up a great friendship, you keep hoping and trying to convince yourself that you do really love the person and what you are feeling (or not feeling anymore) is just a phase you are going through, and you keep hoping that that person will realize that you are on rocky ground and help you regain your strong love back. When you're in a long relationship like yours it's hard to break away because all aspects of your life are probably interconnected and so much is invested in it that you just keep hoping that something will change and let you feel all the right feelings again.
Now I am really not saying that you are in the wrong, she is. She should have either broken up with you as soon as she started doubting her feelings for you or she should have more heart right now and not be such a jerk about the break up and getting a new bf. Speaking of the new bf...having a new bf in no way means that she is over you that easily, it just means that she needed someone to rebound off of and help her get over you. I can almost guarantee you that she is not completly over you and that she is with that guy to get her mind off of you.
I hope this helps you understand some of the reasoning behind her actions. You should just stay away from her now and get used to being on your own again.
Good luck!
2006-06-19 06:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by cute_but_dangerous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-08 03:04:48 · answer #2 · answered by Daryl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, she pulled the classic guy move on you. Doesn't feel so good, does it? But don't worry...you can take heart in that yes, she's a jerk. She should have said something to you when she started having doubts about your relationship so you could move on and find someone worthy of your love. Sometimes we want to make excuses for the people we love because we can't imagine them being so insensitive and cruel. But she's proved herself to be a heartless one, hasn't she? Now that you know this, you can at least take comfort in the fact that you don't have to waste any more time with this unloving woman. She's someone else's problem now. Instead of pouring your energy into why she did what she did to you, you've got to move on. I know it's hard, but start with small steps. Go do things you like to do...hobbies of yours, spending time with your friends, etc. When you find happiness within yourself, you'll feel fulfilled with or without someone. And when you're happy, you attract other happy people. She took the cowards way out. More than likely, she probably had you and the other guy on the side. Hindsight is always 20/20, so as time passes, only you will be able to see any red flags you should have noticed along the way. Don't fault yourself for not seeing them initially. All of us do that. Just take what you learned from this relationship and it will help you in the future. And above all, don't hold this past hurt against anyone in your future. Not all women are as cold-hearted as your ex. Good luck!
2006-06-19 06:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the key statement here is ...." I have been getting over you for the past 6 months".
Seems to me that you weren't really paying attention to her for quite some time. If she was giving you "signs"....could be you were so far off in your own world....maybe feeling too sure of yourself....and not taking care of HER feelings and the things that mattered in HER life.
We often take things for granted....and don't really hear or understand what our partner has been saying.
If she says she's been giving you these signs for 6 months....ask yourself a question....WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I REALLY LISTENED TO HER ???
The answer may surprise you if you're not to stuck on yourself to think that maybe part of this deal was YOUR fault.
The fact that you are inclined to blame her in total for what has happened....tells me that maybe your "ego" needs some adjusting.
Good luck.
2006-06-19 06:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by GOOD ANSWER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not the jerk here. She treated you very unfairly. IF she were a good person who really cared about you , she would have sat you down to talk. Relationships can go bad but a person needs to be big enough to talk. She took the chicken sh@@ way out. Hang in there and try to breathe deep, sounds like she turned out to be pretty worthless to me.
2006-06-19 05:59:44 · answer #5 · answered by Crazymomo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, there's nothing you're missing here. She was deceptive and conniving and sneaky, and you have every right to be mad. But now that you've learned the truth about this woman, you will know better than to think about her for another minute! She's a spoiled brat, and I pity the fool that ended up with her!
Try to look on the bright side - at least (hopefully) she wasn't fooling around & just moved on with her life when she knew it was done, instead of screwing around on you.
2006-06-19 05:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that girl is a total *****! cant belive she did that! and you moved here for here? omg... thats sooo sweet, and look what she did? *****! i live in sweden too, but i would never do that! so please dont let it go over all of the swedes cuz some of them are really nice, like me! haha!
well listen, she's a total jerk and if she's gonna be like this, then you, my friend, deserve a whole lot better! ;)
2006-06-19 06:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, she's a big jerk. i wouldn't waste my time trying to figure out why or when or any of that. if she says she gave you signs and you didn't see them, then that's her fault for not making it more clear to you. you were obviously in love and not even looking for signs. try to get over that bia and try not to let that affect your trust in future relationships. she's the new guy's problem now.
2006-06-19 06:00:22 · answer #8 · answered by hg mccain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably thinking you would treat her differently now that you knows how much she cares it backwards but true.
2006-06-19 05:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah she is a jerk and a half....if she couldnt tell you she didnt love you, then she is a coward as well.....
2006-06-19 05:56:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋