Help me guys!!! My girlfriend needs me and I don't know what to say.?

Question

Ok, my girl is having problems. Her parents treated her badly and finally her dad told her to move out. Well, she stayed with me until she got her own place and now she's miserable because her mom is giving her a hard time. Her mom wanted this for her and told her this would be a good experience. Well now her mom is mad at her because she doesn't stay at home. She has responsibilities now and she's trying her best to please everyone while she's miserable. She told me last night that she missed her mom and wanted to go home because her apartment doesn't feel like home. Her roommate is a total ***** so that makes it harder on her. She is sad and I don't know how to make it better for her. I try to do things to take her mind off of it but I know she's only pretending to be happy. I love her deeply and I want to help her but I don't know how. This seems like something only she and her mom can work out. She loves her mom so much after all they have put her through and I don't get it.

I just wish there was something I could do. Her money situation is tight and she's trying her best to make the most of what she has. I feel powerless and I hate it. My girl needs me but I don't know what to do. Her parents were awful to her when she lived at home now they are awful to her when she isn't home. She's about to start college anyway so she won't be at home at all. They need to give her some space to grow because she can handle herself and I know it.How can I help her? I want her to be happy again.

Answer 1

The best thing yu can do for her is be there for her. Be there when she needs to talk about it, or when she just wants to be held or just needs to cry! Be supportive of her in every way possible. She is at a hard time and she just needs you to be there for her. Just make sure she knows you love and care about her no matter what and you'll always be there if she needs any help!

Answer 2

She's a damn lucky girl to have someone who cares.

I would say, sit her down and explain all that to her. Tell her that you always want to be there for her, but you dont know how, and you're afraid of losing her to this huge mess.

It could be that she might want some time off while she sorts things out with her parents. I dont know, but iam just saying it wouldnt be an impossible move on her part. So you should be willing to give her that space if she wants it. Chances are she will change her mind and come back to you for the support she knows you provide.

Its really between her and her parents, and theres nothing more for you to do except be an unbiased voice of reason, and always understanding. Help her to realize that she can have a life without her parents, and still love them. And also that things will work out in the end, but not at the expense of her health and happiness. She should know that its good for her to still love her mom, and to want her to be happy, but she also needs to know that her mom is a person, a human, and more than capable of selfish feelings and reactions. Sometimes the best way to love a parent in this situation is to love them from a distance, until they can find a way to cope, but always expressing your love to them.

She's allowed to set limits. "mom i love you, but i have work and life right now, we'll have to talk about this later." "mom, i know you're upset, and it tears me up that we're fighting, but i cant give up my life to make you happy, we have to work it out some other way" "i love you, we'll talk about this when you're not so angry". Its okay to have limits.

She's a very very lucky girl to have you. Just stay the course and be there for her when she needs you.

Answer 3

A girl's relationship with her mother is deep and never ends. first you have to realize your role in this situation.your role in life as the male is to protect and provide for the female. A woman's role is to nuture and satify the needs of others around them. The best thing that you can do is let her go and talk to her mom. Her aprtment doesn't feel like home bcause she left her house without an inheritance or a birth right. Aother ting that you can do for her since she is miserable is to support her. Since you love her you have to e the wind beneath her wings and help her fly. This process will take a long time but in the long run she will be grateful for you and your support. In the meantime let her and her mom work this out. Just her and her mom. But support her like a beam and listen to her. always listen to her and only ofer suggesitons if she asks. A woman in a state of misery will be unpredictable. Support her witha kind word. A hug and ask how she is doing. and she will always need some alone time.And don't pester her with your needs. Try and be a moderater between her and her parents. If she goes to talk to them go with her. If she needs a job help her find one. Women can be a little confusing and demanding at times so help her out. She is starting college soon and that is great. Take the time maybe when she is quiet to tell her to focus on herself. Tell her to focus on college and on getting a job. tell her to focus on herself. And as for you think of this as her being pregant. instead of retaining water she retains stress. Instead of birthing a baby she birthing a dream that she has. But like pregnancy problems she is not getting a good amount of nutrition and food. instead of nutrition and food provide her with support and love. Let her know that someone does love her. Some girls face a "dreamkiller" everyday. One of those dream killers is influence and pressure. Instead of blocking out fears and insults that proibit there dreams they retain that also. So it is stuck in their mind like gum on the bottom of your shoe. and no matter how much you try to get it off there will always be that sticky residue. Let har go back home and if she is still treated badly then she should realize her mistake and heed the words that you have to say. Do not let her be afraid. comfort her and let her know that you and god are there.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear all this. If you were older I'd say MARRY HER if youa re compatible. If you both wanted it but it seems that you guys want to stay dating still.

I personally would never go back to my parents after she's so miserable bc of their attitudes or her mom's. She has to learn that life is what it is and one day at a time sometimes one second at a time.

I'd also tell her to talk to her mom perhaps in a way that her mom would recognize she's making a mistake with her own daughter. Maybe have her say to her about many of the problems as if it was somebody else's just to see if her mom would get a clue!

Parents are not infallible. HOWEVER SHE CANT DO THINGS FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S SAKE. first. It has to be for her sake. She has to think of her first. Not selfishly but if she is healthy and can work and study and have a home she can call hers (yes she can make it her own comfort zone but she needs a few know how's).
I'd tell her to decorate her apt with things that would appear to be her mom's home so she feels perhaps more comfortable in her own place.
Tell her she has to leave mom's demands at mom's house and take care of herself. That does not mean she doesnt love her mom.
Its natural to miss one's parents. But circumstances many a time never change. If she was to go back to her mom's she will till be treated badly. Perhaps she needs to seek counseling so she comes face to face with the fact that she has abusive parents and she is used to it now. Its very easy to ignore reality and pretend our parents are good when they are not. Its protecting our self esteem and heart all the way. a basic instinct for survival too in today's world.

Have both her and mom go to a counselor maybe they still can work things out.

Answer 5

She needs to patch things up with her mom tell her dad to kiss her *** and worry about collage right now,after all a education is Evey thing now days,the best thing you can do is to keep up what you are doing be there for her when she needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on .If she is strap for cash she probably wont take money from you as she sounds like a very proud person so what you can do in that regard is to secretly find out what bills she needs the most help on and take some money up with out her knowing and pay it or put some money on it to help catch up,if she ever finds out that you did just explain that she is your world and that's what people who love each other do for one another.Good luck partner hope everything works out for you and your girl.

Answer 6

I think the only thing you can do to help your girlfriend is exactly what you are currently doing. You can be there to listen to her, but you can't fix her problems. She will have to do that herself. Most of the things she is facing are exactly what a lot of other people face.....young, just starting out on her own, insecure in her abilities to truly "Be" on her own and survive. One of the greatest lessons she will learn in life is that NO ONE can please everybody ALL the time. The best she can hope to do is please herself, and the rest will fall into place.

Those ARE a lot of issues to deal with all at once. Her best bet is to priortize them and deal with one at a time.

I would like to caution you not to do anything hasty, in an attempt to be her rescuer. It might seem like a good idea, but it would only hurt her in the long run. Tell her to give it some time with her mom.....as soon as her mom sees she can be an adult on her own, she will probably ease up.

Answer 7

if she go back to her parents house she will have the same problem again well you can help her by let her stay with you that the best way for you to help her, she have to move out one day better make it today, and if she and her parents are apart everyone can live happily it very good for all they can see each other once a week and there is no fight

Answer 8

Just stay in her corner, and try not to let her get to depressed, take the initiative to spend as much time as possible with her and reassure her that it will all be fine. I know this is superficial and doesn't really solve the problem but some problems can solve themselves with a little understanding just be supportive of what she wants and needs and you two will be fine.

GOOD LUCK !!

Answer 9

Parents are control freaks, and her mum is trying to guilt her into feeling bad. Her home never felt like home either, especially if she was treated like crap and forced to move out. She's better off not living in that environment. If she went back, it would be worse than before.

Answer 10

Tell your girlfriend to cut her loses. Nothing well be improved upon my move back home. The best thing she could do try to plan out her new life. Away from her old home.