We have had a wonderful long distance relationship (for the past three months) and now his ex-wife (no kids) has become an issue for me. He says they will always be friends. I don't have a problem with being friends just him being her handyman. Am I wrong?
2006-06-19 03:18:39 · 30 answers · asked by parisangel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lighten up. lots of ex's remain friends
2006-06-19 03:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand your uncomfortability with the issue. Is it wrong? No. He can still maintain a friendship relationship with her in which he helps repair things for her. I am sure if she finds some other guy, it will stop happening. I think the bigger worry you should have is the long distance relationship. That will doom a relationship more than him being friends/handyman to his ex wife. This also shows a trust issue with you. If you like him/love him and trust him, then you shouldn't have any issues.
2006-06-19 03:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Appropriateness" may not be the actual problem (?). Your boyfriend is still INVOLVED in the life of a woman whom he once loved. If there had been children from their marriage, there would clearly be a reason for him to remain in their lives. That is not the case. Your boyfriend is still attached to a woman with whom he pledged eternal love. He may just have emotional needs, or he may have issues regarding fear/abandonment. Your boyfriend is either not aware of your feelings, or he is choosing to disregard them. I have been in the same situation as you and my significant other made certain that I would have no reason to feel insecure. Perhaps the relationship between them is, and will remain, platonic. But, you have to acknowledge the fact that they DO have a relationship. If you can live with that fact there is no problem. If you cannot live with it, you need to tell your boyfriend how you feel ; you will be risking your relationship with him if he considers it to be an ultimatum.
In the end, if you are both honest and considerate of each other's individualism, the situation will resolve itself. You will either make it together or not, but you will be happier in the end. Good luck !
2006-06-19 03:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by SpongebobRoundpants 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are very good friends, if they have kids together, etc, yes. Give him some leeway. Trust him. but if you definitely think there is something fishy going on, then discus it. But sometimes ppl who have had a past together do remain good friends. I and my ex-boyfriend remain close. Or at least talk quite a bit. These things exist. Its something we must accept with clarity of mind.
2006-06-19 03:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex helps me with repairs. And at times tries to help self with other things. Is hard to say what type of relationship they have together but seems hard to say no sometimes as I still am in love with my ex.
2006-06-21 06:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can be her handyman (and friend) as long as he's willing to include you in all their activities. (I'd be very concerned if he didn't allow you to come along on those "handy-man" excursions). Ex-wives can actually be a great help as far as metering just what kind of husband your boyfriend will turn out to be. (All with a grain of salt, of course, but it DOES take two to tango.)
2006-06-19 03:23:14 · answer #6 · answered by runninggirl23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its going to be a struggle for you. if he insist on doing this let him know that you want to meet her and maybe you should htink of giong along with him to help him. if he gets defensive about this, then watch out he is hiding something. if he really loves you and cares for you then tell him how you feel if he still goes to fix her stuff and brushes your feelings aside get rid of him cause you will never matter enough to him in the relationship. you deserve better. can't the ex pay someone to do her dirty work.
2006-06-19 03:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by guerisky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hm, if you aren't included in the relationship/friendship they seem to have, it may be a problem. she might still fall in love with him again or be in love as we speak-something can easily happen when they are alone. if you aren't welcomed along to the repair jobs, you may have a slight problem. make your distance relationship a close one if you want to keep him- the fact is, is that his ex is physically closer and you are not. you might want to change that.
2006-06-19 03:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, if there were kids i'd be willing to grant some leeway
you have to think about it this way, they are divorced, if he wanted to be with her, they'd still be married
im divorced and try to be decent to my ex but my current wife doesn't like that much
2006-06-19 03:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by whoisgod71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you guys see never see each other and he goes to the ex's to repair the plumbing and change the oil and so on. Worry.
2006-06-19 03:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by corpuscollossus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say if he had kids with her it'd be cool. But if they have no children together she should find her own handyman..
2006-06-19 03:21:18 · answer #11 · answered by Jet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋