help please, really please?

Question

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmRVp3l2qC3hYq9DvyHUdPbg5gt.?qid=1006041100851
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Apiuf1_AzCeYurw1gsBRQgbg5gt.?qid=1006041001976

read those two to understand my question...

k, heres the thing, the dreams went away eventually, slowly. and i thought, yay, i'm over him, over it all.
now they back, and as for a psychologist, well my parents arent really the kind i say to "hey i wanna see one"
but i really wanna get this whole thing out of my head, but it just comes back, what can i do?

i just cant seem to forgive myself for it...not at least till i know he forgave me, but fat chance of ever finding that out. i'm miles away.

i stalked him and he let me go without any punishment which kills me, but not much to it really. what do you wanna know?

Answer 1

Well I don't know your age. It sounds like you are under the age of 18. If so, you would need your parents to help to see a psychologist. If you are under the age of 18, you could see the school counselor. There is also on-line counseling that could help. Depending upon your age, you could be infatuated with the male and this guy just happened to have your version of what the ideal male would be. He did forgive you because he let you go without any problems. He probably understood that it was your age and growing hormones. So you need to forgive yourself. You can also write a letter to him asking forgiveness and then burn the letter so no one will find it but your spirit will accept it as if you had mailed it. Then move on. If you need someone to talk to you can IM me

Answer 2

Being obsessive is part of a mental health problem and needs to be dealt with by a professional. I don't know your age if you are at school you can see a counselor and talk to them. If not see your local Dr and explain the situation, he will recognize that you need help and refer you onto an agency. If money is an issue I am sure there will be someone who can see you, you Dr should know. You need to forgive yourself for your behavior before you can move on, understand that you were obsessed and that it wasn't a normal relationship, it doesn't make you a bad person, everyone does things they regret from time to time and I am sure that this man holds no malice towards you especially now that you are away. Your dreams are reminders to you of what you don't want to be, accept them as reminders and nothing more. Time will ease them. In the meantime try to occupy your mine with other things, take up a new hobby, start reading whatever you you will enjoy. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Getting over a bad break up can be difficult. Talk to a close friend if you can't get counseling. Some counselors charge based on what you can afford.You must stop the stalking behavior. You can only be responsible for your feelings not his. Forgive yourself. Meet other people. Get busy with helping at your local Humane Society, church,(these are just ideas). Force yourself to move on. It's ok to go through the grieving process, but you must get busy to engage in positive behaviors and actions. These feeling and thoughts can consume you and lead to destructive behavior. Everyone experiences loss. You are not alone. Keep a journal. Sometimes that helps.Promise yourself not to make any contact with him at all. He could lash out ie put you in jail, get a restraining order. Remember the good times and move on. You might be blocking out the right man. When those memories come back engage in exercise, reading, talking to a friend, helping around the house. He may never forgive you, but you can forgive yourself. Make the effort to get better and don't give up. With time you will get clarity. It's difficult, but not impossible. I believe in you.

Answer 4

Quit beating your self up. The only time this guy is in your head is when you let him be. As far as dreams go, you feel guilty and you have to come to terms with that first. Realize that you or anyone else is not perfect and we all do regrettable things in life. Age doesn't count. Don't base forgiveness on him. It's his choice and you can't control him or his way of thinking. Forgive yourself. Learn from the lesson and see it is just that, a lesson. Can't do the present or future living in the past can we?

Answer 5

Wow (she whispers) That is an amazingly frightening question.
Now...I am a person that believes family comes first no matter what. Listen to me. You are not giong to find anybody that will still love you as much as they did before you talk to them about this except for your family.
I recommend you sit down everyone that you live with, or if you don't live with your parents, invite them over or go to their house. Inform them that this is a very serious issue you need to talk to them about.
You should tell everybody at the same time, that way you wont have to repeat the horrible details.
Listen... this is not something a therapist can help you with unless you talk to your family first. Tell them all of your thoughts and feelings, yes, even the embarrassing ones. That is the only way they will fully understand what you are going through.
No matter what kind of people your parents are, they will listen if you explain the urgency and no matter how much you think they don't care about you... you are the world to them.
I know most of the time it is not noticable, but trust me... go to your parents first.
You really need to deal with this as soon as possible sweetie, because no one wants you to have to live with this your whole life!

Answer 6

You typed a lot but not much information in what you typed. What is it that you need his forgiveness for and why should you forgive him? Sounds like you need a professional. Just because you go see one, in no way does it mean that you are a crazy person. I sought professional help after my open heart surgery. Giving my life to the Lord and seeking professional help, when I truly knew that I needed both was the best choices I have ever made. There are many choices in this life. There are many problems in life for everyone. But everyone deals with those problems in their own way. You didn't say how old you are. If you are having problems dealing with this, why on earth wouldn't your parents want you to seek professional help? My prayers are with you. Remember when we lose God, it is not God who is lost. Seek His help above all. God bless you!!

Answer 7

Hello, it sounds to me that you are caught up in the old "I want what I can't have". This is a hard time for you and you are coping by dreaming. Maybe you can find other ways of coping. Like helping around the house, your neighbor, part-time job. You need to get out of the house and involved with people. Then things will change for you and you will move on.

Answer 8

If you realise that you were wrong, then your soul has forgiven you and so has God. A time will certainly come when he will also forgive you. It is only a matter of time and earth is not such a big place.

Answer 9

well guess this is a guy probable. It takes time to forgive yourself but you just have to let it go. everone does things that they dont like to do and it hard to forgive yourself. But to make life easyer you half to. but you will never forget what you did

Answer 10

look in to your problem and the source of the dreams figure out what you have to do to change your feelings, if it is something that you feel you did wrong then try to make amends or apologize to the victim of you mistake, or you could even try meditating before you go to sleep and try to forgive yourself in your mind, try to cleanse your mind before you sleep this could really help.