What is the proper way?

Question

Can anyone suggest a proper way to word the following on an invitation...
Instead of registering somewhere for her wedding, my sister & her fiance have decided that they'd prefer money instead, so what is a nice way to word it on the invitation without sounding too money hungry..
Thank you in advance for all of your responses.

The reason why she is asking for monetary donations is because the couple have already purchased a home and they have everything that they need.
I understand that everyone will not be able to accommodate the couple with monetary donations, but if asked what she'd prefer instead of pots, pans, sheet sets, etc, she'd prefer money...

Answer 1

All the etiquette books state not to put in any gift tips, some invitation website such as www.theamericanwedding.com suggest wording for a gift card (like a reception card) which is included with the invitation. Here's some examples:

Your presence at our wedding
is present enough!
But if we're honored
with a gift from you,
may we respectfully request
a monetary gift
to help the dream of our new home
come true!

We have two of everything
because joining lives
means joining households too!
So please don't give us
another toaster--
a gift of money is what
we'd appreciate from you!

We didn't register
We don't need more stuff
But when it comes to financial help
You can never have enough!



We have our hearts set
on a trip to ______
We're saving every nickel and dime.
So if you aren't sure
what to get us
a gift of cash would be just divine.



We're dreaming of a honeymoon
and we hope our dreams come true…
If you helped us fund our trip
we'd be so grateful to you

Answer 2

If you want to know the proper way, the simple answer is that it is not proper to put this information on the invitation at all. I'm sorry if that sounds rude, but that is tacky (like the first preson said). If the couple has chosen not to register then they are taking their own chances but the way you do it, is to have a shower and the shower invites should say where they're registered, or something about a monetary gift, which by the way is also tacky. To ask for money is simply rude. If they are just wanting money they should not register but keep their mouths closed. Without some direction, and without a shower either, most people will resort to giving gift cards or money. Also, some people find it bad etiquite to give money, so they'll look for something else.

Answer 3

Hi, and congratulations!. Honestly, most people would consider requesting money as a wedding present to be tacky, however it is your wedding, and there is really no point is asking for things you already have or don't need (I have a friend who registered for Pottery Barn to get pricey gifts and then returned them all and got his money back in some universal gift certificate, now how will they explain this to Jon doe that the console table he gave them priced at $600 isn't at their home when he just visited?, now that's tacky!,, and I'm not saying everyone that registers do this, however if you do register and don't really need what you're asking for, you're either going to return it to get something else, or simply give them as gifts on other events...yes a bit shocking, we have all re-gifted at one point or another).
You can enclose a coordinating gift request card within your invitation, and use a simple verse such as "Our lives are complete, our love nest is set, if you're looking for the perfect gift, money would be best".

If what you want the money for is to help you pay for your honey moon, there are many websites that work like a gift registry, where your guests put money towards your trip cost (personally this is what I will be doing when I wed).

Remember, it is YOUR wedding, and Emily Post isn't going to be storing the 3 sets of pots, 4 blenders, 6 toasters and countless of silver and crystal nick knacks you'll be getting if you don't register. Clearly, ettiquete aside, go for what you need, and if that is money, there is no right or wrong; it is okay to do so, just request it in a lovely, coordinating little card that matches your invitation set and that looks elegant and chic!.

Have a great wedding, and hope you get lots of Gift$ !! ^_^
Best of luck!

Melissa T.

http://www.kisstheenvelope.com

Answer 4

I personally love to know exactly what the couple wants. This takes a lot of the guess-work and worry out of purchasing a gift that could very well be returned. It would be nice knowing that you didn't get the couple the same thing someone else did. I'm not sure that including that with the invitation is a good idea. I agree with most of the others- word of mouth is a wonderful, more personable way to provide the guests with the info they need. Good luck with your marriage!

Answer 5

There is no polite way. Honestly there must be something they want, at least do a small registration somewhere then once that is full people will most likely give money.
Asking for money is tacky. The only other solution is to state, we have already filled our home and have all we need, gifts are not required having you share our special day is gift enough. They may not get anything from some people though but at least they are not asking for money.
You cannot dictate what people should give you.

Answer 6

I hope that you are not speaking of a wedding invitation.

When I was getting married I managed to be able to talk to one member of the each of the couples that were invited . Everyone was asking what to buy. I gave everyone a different suggestion. Example: Queen size sheets in a red/blue pattern. Electric blanket in burgundy. Towels in these colors......we didn't register anywhere. The result was that we got most of everything that we individually asked for, plus many people gave us money. So we had a nice mix. You cannot expect every gift giver to give you dead presidents so set your sights for something more realistic.

Answer 7

There is no proper way to put that on a wedding invite. The only way to properly get that info out is by word of mouth. Have both sets of parents, all siblings, etc., pass the word. But she should be prepared to receive gifts as well, and she should simply accept them graciously, since they will be given in a spirit of love and kindness.

Answer 8

Try spreading it word of mouth first. I know that I wouldn't be offended if someone told me that. They already have everything. Why bother with a registry? I would assume that they wouldn't be having a bridal shower and typically you give money at the wedding to 'cover your plate'. Just put a note in the invite that the couple would prefer money in lew of gifts.

Answer 9

I will never advise anybody to ask for money as a wedding present. In fact, a wedding invitation is what it is - an invitation to attend the wedding ceremony and share that happy moment in the newlyweds' life. The wedding gift is only secondary and is something that the giver decides, not the recipient. In my opinion, it is rude to ask for a gift, and it is more rude to specify in the invitation that you only want to receive money on that occasion.

Pardon me but like I said, it is just my humble opinion.

Answer 10

We were also in the same situtaion. We registered at a couple stores for stuff that we didn't have but still wouldn't mind getting. But for the wedding itself we did not send out anything about being registered anyplace and we made out very well money wise. I think that it is rude to request just cash, let people decide for themselves what they want. Or tell people what they are doing for their honeymoon, they might give her money to take for the honeymoon.