Why do people keep asking to feel my belly - and then saying I'm rude when I tell them they can't?

Question

I'm heavily pregnant, and people just want to feel my belly - I don't see this as normal. I don't want to feel theirs.

I am always polite, I just tell them I'd really rather they didn't!

Answer 1

I often find the people most ready to call people rude don't know what the word means. They think it means anything that stops them doing what they want. They're often the same people who use the word ignorant to describe anyone who doesn't agree with their opinions and they don't have the vaguest idea what arrogant means.

Answer 2

I have heard of this a lot before (though I don't remember it happening to me when I was pregnant, and I don't know how I would have responded)

Don't worry about this, because you are completely within your rights to say no if someone asks to feel your belly. Especially if it is a stranger!!

I think people like to feel pregnant women's bellies so they can get in touch with the new life. It is fascinating to think of the process of pregnacy and birth - that's why people want to do it.

So it is a kind of a compliment I suppose - although less about you as an individual than about you as a woman carrying a new life.

Don't listen if people tell you you are rude. They are the ones that are rude!!! Although I suppose it is OK to ask, they should accept it if you don't want it.

I remember feeling, just after my baby was born, it is strange the way things change. As if some people think that babies are public property, in a way. I used to get people coming up to me to look at my baby and tell me how to look after him. Most of the time I didn't mind, but it is a strange thing the way that happens.

I suppose perhaps a lot of people are lonely and the baby makes them feel they have something in common and can start a conversation.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Answer 3

The only persons pregnant belly i rub is my own or my best friend's. There is a kind of energy to feeling a pregnant belly i think and a happiness that comes from it. I've heard before that some people feel that it's good luck too, especially if they are trying to conceive themselves.

You're not being rude by telling people you'd rather them not do it. It's kinda a private thing. People that do that to complete strangers need to learn some impulse control.

Answer 4

For some reason people think a pregnant belly is public domain. I was never bothered by it, but I can understand why you'd be upset by an invasion of your personal space. You're not rude for asking them to stop ~ they're rude for not asking permission to touch you first! I love touching pregnant bellies because my husband and I are done having kids and I like the "energy" you get from a baby in a womb. But I *always* ask before I touch. Hang in there ~ it'll be over soon! :-)

Answer 5

People are fascinated by the miracle of life, even if it happens every day, all around them. They want to be a part of it, even if it means touching your stomach all the time. They might not realise that you don't want them to do this. It's like your role in society changes once you become pregnant. They would not go around touching other peoples' stomachs! I think you're doing the right thing by politely telling them that you don't want them to do it. You will get the same attention when you have the baby, except they will be cooing over the baby and not your stomach! Good luck.

Answer 6

Well, it is your belly, but when I was pregnant all of my family and friends would feel mine. They just want to feel the baby kicking and moving, they only care. I would not let a perfect stranger (go get pregnant yourself) I don't seem the harm in it for people that really care about you. This is a very special time and it will be gone before you know it, enjoy every minute. Before you know it they will be graduating from college.

dp

Answer 7

When people used to come up to me and ask, I always said yes, and most of them just felt quickly or patted my belly and said congratulations. I figured my belly was covered and there's really nothing bad they can do. For the people who I saw walking up to me with this crazy look in their eyes like they were just going to feel it without asking, I quickly turned to the side so my belly was out of reach. most of them said nothing, and just continued on their way, or turned in another direction. The few people who did say something, I replied, "I'm sorry, but i don't feel comfortable having anyone but my husband touch my belly and my baby. I don't know you, so I hope you understand." They were...I never got any snide remarks or dirty looks.

Answer 8

I always get annoyed at the same thing and like you I always politely decline...I don't want to touch their big belly either and my MIL finds me completely rude when she asks and I decline you would think after 3 kids she would realize Hey shes doesn't want me to touch her....I say keep doing what you are doing Its your choice (what I really hate is when someone asks my husband instead of me like I can't answer for myself or those strangers at the mall that just walk up and touch you)

Answer 9

People just want to see if they can feel the baby moving (no harm meant). It's almost like a hug.

But some people feel uncomfortable being touched so you are doing the right thing for you -- just ask them not to touch your belly.

Answer 10

It's YOUR body. You have a right to YOUR space, and what parts of your body can and cannot be touched by others, no matter who they are. Some people think this is a way to show they care about you and your unborn fetus. Others are just perverted. But just explain matter of factly, "I don't feel comfortable with people touching my stomach," and if they have a problem...it's THEIR problem. Let THEM deal with their problem, and you don't worry about it. After all, would they feel comfortable if YOU touched THEIR "untouchable" places? Of course they would. So don't worry so much about what they think. It's YOUR body!! Besides, not everyone washes their hands properly, and I wouldn't want them touching me, either, especially in a private area such as my stomach.