My inlaws come over a lot to visit and have lunch, etc... and we go over to their place every Sunday after church for lunch. When we're finished eating, my huband, his mom and dad can sit at the kitchen table for hours talking about whatever and I usually get up and sit on the couch, read the paper, cross stich, etc... My husband says it's rude, but most of the time what they're talking about partains to a class that my husband and his mom are teaching or other things that don't really include me not to mention my rump falls asleep sitting on those kitchen chairs! Am I being rude?
2006-06-19 01:56:06 · 23 answers · asked by sandhsand 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Take a cheerful part in conversation as long as you can and then when the talk veers away from what you are able to take part in, excuse yourself politely and go do your cross-stitch. It's your attitude that is the key to whether you come off rude or not. You shouldn't feel obligated to continue "for hours" having to take part in conversation on topics that you don't feel connected to.
2006-06-19 02:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by Seagoat 2 · 25⤊ 2⤋
I don't think so. If the conversation were about just things in general, then I would say it would be considered rude. But since the conversation is of nothing you really are involved in, why not go and relax. If you hear the conversation change, then I would go back and join in. If they don't seem to mind and nothing was said, I think you are fine. I have done it myself. At first sitting and doing the normal chit-chat but if the conversation leads to something I am not at all involved in, I leave for a short while and then return.
2006-06-19 02:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by 2179 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that it is not rude. Perhaps if you would politely ask to be dismissed from the table to catch up on some reading, etc.- I too like to excuse myself from a "bad" conversation and/or situation- I'm sure the others feel that I'm being rude also. It would be rude and wrong to say "screw" what they think, especially where family and loved ones are concerned.
2006-06-19 02:03:59 · answer #3 · answered by ••Mott•• 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cross stitching is ok, i think that reading excludes you from the opportunity of having conversation. Next time try to ad input every now and then, maybe take over the conversation or just show an attempt to do so. Maybe the social norm now is to talk about the stuff they want to and slowly you should change it to your favorite topics of discussion.
2006-06-19 02:43:29 · answer #4 · answered by mm3mmt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was you i would ask your husband if he would accept it more if you read the paper and that stuff at the table or on the couch and i mean your poor rump needs a break lol :D Have a good day!
2006-06-19 03:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by brittany_glid1890 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would jst excuse mhyself, get your cross-stiching apparatus and sit back down at the table, but before, this I woulds have bought Cushions for the chairs, so your behind doesnt fall asleep.
(the disadvantages to this is that your in-laws might be so comfy, that they never move) lol
(you should try to include yourself in the conversation too tho)
2006-06-19 02:06:17 · answer #6 · answered by Blonde-Thoughts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't. I think they are, for not including you more in the conversation. Why not talk about things that are interesting to everyone?
Sounds as if he is attempting to tell you how to behave. To be something, other than yourself. Do not allow this. Stand your ground.
If you have no ill intentions, don't let him bother you about it. My EX-hubby used to treat me that way.
You cannot help being excluded from the conversation......by means of selecting subject matter that does not interest you, or involve your activities. That is their decision.....albeit, most likely is a subconscious one.
Just do your thing, and take care of you!
2006-06-19 02:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by treefrog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the initial years of marriage you are expected to do things just for appearance sake, so as not to appear rude. Tolerate the kind of behaviour you mentioned. But once you fit in, like know the family and they know you, i feel you can be just yourself. With the family members you need not pretend to be otherwise. i feel it is rude on their part to exclude you from their conversations. Let them finish their talks and come to you.
2006-06-19 02:17:53 · answer #8 · answered by P'quaint! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think it is rude- include yourself in their conversations, just don't assume they will include you- I am sure you are intelligent enough that you can contribute something to their convo's- or you may learn something
leaving just isolates you- and they may think you are stuck up-
Enjoy spending time with the fam- today not many people have that luxury! You are a lucky woman!
2006-06-19 02:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by Rae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that as long as you're polite about it, for e.g. if you say that you've got some sewing to be getting on with and you'll leave them to their chat, I don't see why - it's not as if these people aren't family, which would require a different sort of behaviour.
Of course, if you huff and puff and stomp off because they're not including you, it's a different matter (and I'm laying no blame here, so please don't be offended).
2006-06-19 02:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by squimberley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you cross stitch at the table?
The abandoning of guests is the rude part. You don't have to talk to them about the class or whatnot, just be there.
2006-06-19 02:00:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋