I've been seeing this guy for 2 weeks. I really like him. However, I don't ever want to have children. Should I tell him this now or should I wait? People in the past have said that I tell guys that too soon. But I always felt like if its someone I would really like to date that I should be straight forward with him. What's the point of falling in love and then finding out he wants a family and you don't?
2006-06-19 01:06:29 · 24 answers · asked by allenlynn23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try playing 20 questions. I know it sounds really high school but it truely is the best way to get to know someone. Start out easy and then progressively get to the more in depth questions like do you ever want to have kids. Then you can find out his view on the subject and possible start a discussion from there.
2006-06-19 01:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Gen 1 · 16⤊ 3⤋
If you've only been seeing him for 2 weeks, I take it you haven't talked about the future yet. I wouldn't tell him that only after 2 weeks of being together, because that early it's really hard to tell where the relationship is truly going, no matter how much you like each other. I would take it easy and get to know what kind of a person he is. For example, if he's very family-oriented or has a close relationship with a good amount of his family members, you could take that as a sign that he sees himself with a family of his own one day. Guys don't openly talk about things like this so you would have to get a feel on your own for his attitude toward family before you really start asking him. You could jump out on a limb and ask him but he might take it wrong because you haven't been together that long to begin with.
2006-06-19 08:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by jewelsr4ever2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TWO WEEKS ??!?!?? Lord have mercy, girl - 2 weeks and you are already thinking about telling him something regarding children ? Chill! You don't need to be telling him ANYTHING. You are sooooooooooooo at the beginning stage of "anything" - friends, lovers, etc. How do you know where this is going ? You don't -neither does he. Why would you send it down some track (or off some track) when you are just at the starting gate ?
Maybe you don't want to have kids - that's ok, - but chances are good that he isn't even THINKING about kids right now. What kind of message do you think it sends when he is thinking about next week's movie date and you suddenly tell him that you don't want kids and you just want him to know for the future ? He's gonna think, "Bloody Hell - I was just thinking drama or comedy and she is thinking marriage! Yikes!"
Back up, back up, back up and slow down. Let yourself get to know this guy (or any guy) on a one-to-one level. Let them get to know you as who you are as a single person. If the relationship deepens and develops, this subject may come up - or it may not. But don't press it before its time. 2 weeks is much too soon for such a conversation.
You are sabotaging any chance at a relationship with this kind of premature behavior.
2006-06-19 08:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will run if you ask him anything about marriage right now. He will think your desperate at best. Give it time let him bring it up. not to say you couldn't rent romantic comedy's and chic flicks to feel your way around after a couple of months. that might get you some idea in a hypothetical or joking conversation.what it boils down to is once you have children and for some reason... lets see 90% divorce rate! The children suffer the most.
2006-06-19 08:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait, you have only known him for 2 weeks. He may break up with you in the next 2 weeks. Give it time to see which direction the relationship is going.
2006-06-19 08:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably wait. Generally if you tell him this after 2 weeks, he might think that you are getting way to serious way too quickly. Wait till the realtionship getting more serious, and when it more comes up in conversation rather than press the issue onto him
2006-06-19 08:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by Chris H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that u should tell him but u need to tell him tackfully and not just staight forward make sure that u r both in the conversation.see how he feels he may not even want kids himself...but maybe u should wait a few more weeks the conversation should have popped up by then
2006-06-19 08:15:50 · answer #7 · answered by Christine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honey, it's only been 2 weeks, if you feel you really have to tell him, just do it. But you're young you might change your mind. I said the same thing at your age, NO KIDS, well I am 10 years older and have a beautiful blessed child.
2006-06-19 08:10:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wise to tell them as soon as the situation feels warranted. Relationships "build" and you don't want to start off with the wrong foundation. This issue is a most important one to both men and women and usually they have strong feelings about it either way.
I think before he invests alot of time and energy into the relationship, he should know what he is getting into.
2006-06-19 08:11:57 · answer #9 · answered by Your Personal Assistant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you have to tell him!!!
or do u want this guy to fall in love with you and then surprise him!! and then what a nasty breakup.
To be honest, i dont think there are a lot of people out there who dont want to ever have kids. Be honest and just tell him before it is too late
2006-06-19 08:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by fozio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait. Its only been 2 wks. The time will come up and then you can tell him. Don't rush it. I know you just want to be honest and that is good but it is too soon.
2006-06-19 08:09:19 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋