The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump -- Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump -- Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, ''DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?'' you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.
The Latrine Dump -- In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.
The Mona Lisa Dump -- This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.
2006-06-19 00:24:02 · 13 answers · asked by gogobanca 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hey LEEEN thts wht happened to me too, better now the list is divided into 3.
2006-06-19 01:11:44 · update #1
Hey Nice Libra...thx man.
2006-06-19 01:33:41 · update #2
Hey Sandile!!!!Thats really Grosss!!!!
But one thing is sure, next time i take a dump, i might just steal a glance and see whats there!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwwww, noooooooooooooooo!!! Cant even think of it!!!
But be careful, there is a freak around here who is reporting jokes and gives the reason for violation as "No question or answer"..... And oneof my jokes was actually deleted along with a violation notice!!!
2006-06-19 01:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by nice_libra_guy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I prefer the kind of dumps that make you feel as if you just lost 30 lbs. You get up with a feeling of accomplishment as if you won a competition.
Then there are the semi-constipated slow dumps where you are straining to the point where you are in labor giving birth to the turd. You push and push until your butt clenches and it breaks off. You think that you have 3 to 4 inch segment in the bowl only to discover that there is much more in the bowl.
2006-06-19 00:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Joe K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-08 22:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your nice little essay is so poetic, so beautiful, so filled with feelings, pride and joy. It should be titled "An Ode to a Dump".
2006-06-19 01:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha, this is funny. I've gotten something like this in email, but more kinds, and none of these are listed. Again, very funny.
2006-06-19 00:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by K.to.the.A.to.the.I'm.bored. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL THAT WAS SOOOOO FUNNY!(my favorite is the 'perfect dump' and the 'cable dump'. absoloutely HILARIOUS!
2006-06-19 00:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the chilly part
2006-06-19 00:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. You made me sleep!
--- LeeeN
2006-06-19 01:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by LiN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy you want me to read all these and get only 2pts? no way.
2006-06-19 00:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
totally gross!
i herd this from onna my frenz...
man!!how i hate fart jokes!
2006-06-19 00:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by Jean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋