Giving thought to make regular visits to/fro more palatable, can one introduce this new element without causing raised eyebrows? Persons can then see each other without the morning-noon-night full on treatment. Any tips for a sensitive approach? Or perhaps this isn't something to worry about for it is just a new dynamic to a family get together
2006-06-18 23:47:58 · 9 answers · asked by sweetpeachmummy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It really doesn't work to tell them you don't want to be a bother. In my family it would be an insult enough to send my mother to an early grave!
If your trips are short... a weekend or up to 1 week then suck it up and spend time with your parents. It's just not worth a riff.
If you're staying for 2 weeks or more, ask them to watch the kids for a weekend and you guys go off to a hotel. At least in my family, the hard feelings for them would be not being able to have the grand kids around, since they only get to see them once a year.
Good luck.
2006-06-19 00:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by crisagi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hosted a family picnic and offered to have a sibling with 3 young kids stay with me for the weekend. I wish the hotel had been an option. I was thoroughly exhausted by the end of the visit. We have different parenting methods, and my frustration was ridiculous by the end of the visit. Needless to say, I no longer do this. The sibling lives 4 hours away, and we rarely see them.
The hotel option works well because the family can visit and keep the relationships on a good standing without feeling like the welcome has worn thin. Small people do get on your nerves if you are not used to having them around. State that everyone would be more comfortable if they stay in a hotel because they can move on their own schedule (bed times, meal times, etc.). The hotel also has staff to clean up messes. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, especially if they stay at a hotel.
2006-06-19 01:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by ajgeiger38 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mention it casually, like it's not very important. "We'll be staying at The Hummingbird Hotel this time, so don't bother with getting the guest room ready" or something. Don't make a big deal of it and hope they don't either. If they take issue, like "We'll be so hurt" or "Don't you like staying with us?", your response is "You're so kind to say so, but I'm sure everyone will be more comfortable this way". Don't give any specifics about why exactly it is that anyone would be LESS comfortable with the old arrangement, just keep saying this over and over. No matter how sincere your wanna be host or hostess is, you must continue the pretense that they are only being polite. Chances are your folks may be a little miffed but the relief of NOT having house guests will more than make up for it.
2006-06-19 02:17:41 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually just went through this. My boyfriend and I have always stayed with my parents when we're in the area. They have been having some marital issues and it is really annoying to be around them constantly, my elderly grandmother also lives with them.
The last few times I told them we're staying at a hotel, because we want some privacy and told them it will be like a little vacation for us (say what they need to hear) we did raise a few eyebrows, but for the benefits of privacy (and others) it's worth it. Believe me they'll get over it. And if they don't...all the more reason to stay at a hotel :)
Don't worry, give it a shot and I"m sure your anxiety will be eased.
Good Luck!
2006-06-19 02:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by Nanjadufrance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I routinely do it. Typically I do it without explaination... however the first time I said... "it's got to be a lot of trouble making up the guest room... and I really appeciate the offer and hospitality, but I do believe we would be more comforable in a HOTEL".
I'd follow that up with a few things I can do at a hotel that I can't at their house... Visit the weight room, take a swim in the pool, Watch TV late... etc.
2006-06-18 23:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in simple terms my opinion. For years, after I visited my mom, I clearly stayed in her homestead. Then i attempted a motel once. I in no way went decrease back. i really beloved the way the motel took the rigidity of persevering with togetherness away. targeted visitor rooms are wasteful. If needed, you are able to restoration up some thing at the same time as a targeted visitor is critical.
2016-11-14 23:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can explain that you don't want to overburden your parents/in-laws with your family. This way, you can use the hotel amenities (pool, gym, etc), and still spend quality time with them.
2006-06-18 23:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by Jack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have kids or you can say hey we wanted to swim in the pool at the hotel. That is how we do it.
2006-06-18 23:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by xx_muggles_xx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll just do it. Probably they like it too....no need to entertain you all day long.
2006-06-19 04:49:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋