Question about relationships?

Question

My partner has told me that he does not want to get married or have children, what should I do?

We have been together for 6 years

For the record, I do want children eventually, and would prefer to be married before the children come, I know it sounds little old fashioned.

I want my children to have the same name as both parents!

Answer 1

dump him

Answer 2

If you want children - tell him - he can't expect you to naturally want the same thing as him because you have been together for 6 years.
My partner told me he didn't want to get married or have children, but then I fell pregnant - really by accident as I was on the pill and we used condoms and his out look changed - I'm not saying purposely get pregnant by this man or he may end up hating you
Sit him down - talk to him and explain everything but remember that in order to reach a end result there has to be give and take on both sides eg if he is adamant that marriage isn't for him then look at having children, or visa versa - however you will probably have noticed that usually when marriage is entered into - children usually - not always - follow.
Talk to him or if he really refuses and this is truly what you want - move on.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Wow six years is a long time. If you don't want to get married or have children, that's fine. If you do then I'm afraid it's get out time. Belive me from personal experience they won't change their mind and you're just hanging around loving them and wishing they had the same thoughts as you. But they never will, and after the amount of time you've been together he's proven that he's not going to just 'pop the question' all of a sudden. I think you need to have one last serious talk and explain that that's what you want and if you can't compromise you need to leave him. No matter how painful. And it will be painful. Wish the answer was happier, sorry.

Answer 4

How certain he is that marriage and kids is not an option? If he is 100% then the next person to ask is your self. What do you really want from your life? After you are 100% sure about it you will have to communicate that back to your partner. Communication is one of the most important thing in your relationship.After you make absolutely 100% crystal clear (and i can go on about how sure you have to be) that your partner is fully aware of what you are saying to him (men loads of times the don't really listen) you have to make decision. At this point i am afraid that you might have to make some seriously hard decisions although you either do it now break free and do what you really want or you lose couple more years from your life dragging (in false hope) your self in a relationship which is not going to fulfil you. From the bottom of my heart i hope all work out for the best

Answer 5

What do you want?

If these things are important to you, then you have a problem. Considering that you are asking the question, I guess it's safe to say that you do?

Does your partner say why he doesn't want these things? If you haven't asked him, you should, but be prepared for the answer; is it possible he does not want these things with you? Sometimes men(boys really) make these kind of statements when they feel cornered.
The bottom line is that if you and your partner can not agree on two very important issues, neither one of you will ever be truly happy.

I wish you the best of luck

Answer 6

If you are so focused on getting married & having children & this man of 6 years is not, sorry but you really need to be strong & say goodbye. Reason for this is because you as an individual will never be happy. He may change his mind later on but you will be older & maybe too old to have children etc. You only have one chance at life so dont waste it.

Answer 7

I suppose it depends what you want in life. You are entitled to do in this life the things that will make you happy and give you a sense of fullfillment. For some there fullfillment lies elsewhere, maybe in a career or travel or self exploration.
I would sit down with you're parnter and ask him what it is about these things that he is veering away from. Ask him where his fullfillment lies and discover what direction he wants to go in. It may be he feels that he's not ready for such a big commitment, when kids are involved that commitment extends past yourself and is a promise to an unborn being that he will support and take care of them despite himself. Maybe he feels that this is something he is not prepared for.
To be honest, i don't know many people who would emark on married life and having kids that wouldn't, at one point or another, be visited by doubt, and insecurity. Maybe his self belief is waverring abit.
However, all that being said if it comes down to the simple matter of him just not wanting that for himself, then he is entitled to that. What you need to then do is reevaluate where you both stand on the matter.
If you want to be married and start a family with someone then you should do that. You are entitled to that happiness. Don't be scared to live the life you want to live. Of course this could mean that you have to do it minus you're current partner. After six years of a relationship that is going to be difficult, but not impossible.
Sometimes we have to make sacrafices for the things we want, you could view it as a test of how much you want that life. As they say nothing in life comes for free and that apply's on an emotional, mental and spiritual level answell as the material.
I would sit down with your partner and discuss these points and see where it leads you... Be open to his thoughts and ideas without disguarding your own.

I hope things become clearer for you and work out they way you wish they would..

Best of Luck. :o)

Answer 8

is it very important to you to get married and have children? could you be happy staying in the relationship as it is?
personally having children was very important to me and my husband wouldn't talk about the subject of having kids, in the end i laid it on the line that i want children and that i loved him very much but if we didn't agree on such an important subject then we are probably not very suited. we have a son now and he is an amazing dad, he suggested to me that we try for baby no2! what a turn around!
i think you need to have a good think about what you want and what you can live with and sit down with your partner and discuss it openly and honestly. is it that he doesn't ever want to marry and have kids or not in the near future. does he have a reason for this. good luck, i hope you get your desired outcome.

Answer 9

It depends how important that area of your life is. If you can't live without kids or marriage, I'm afraid I think you should end it because you'll regret it otherwise. Some friends of mine discovered they couldn't have kids because he has no swimmers so there was no chance and she made the brave decision to leave him as having children was more important to her than he was.

Good on your partner for being honest and not stringing u along.

Answer 10

If your partner does not want kids and you do then you may need to consider where this relationship is going. Your partner is being honest with you and it would be unfair of you yo try and change his mind. At the same time you have a right to happiness also and if you want kids maybe it is time to leave this relationship and wait till you meet someone who wants the same as you.

Answer 11

Sorry to say this, but he may not be the man you want to spend the rest of your life with if he doesn't share the same interests as you do when it comes to life long decisions such as children... Think about you and what you want from life and the life you want to share and provide with your future children. Good Luck!