I am 24 +bfriend is 20 and his mum wont let him in later than half 10pm, why wud she do this?

Question

He is 20, nearly 21 and his mums rule is he has to be in by half 10 in the weel and cant stay at neone includin his girlfriends house durin the week and if he breaks her rule he can move out. Does anybody know why she would do this? and maybe wat we cud do? we dont feel ready to move in together just yet.

Answer 1

Yeah, I can tell you why: it's her house, it's her rules. He's old enough to move out--and he should, before the two of you even think about living together. Maybe it's his mum's subtle way of cutitng the apron stings--figuring that if she sets these stringent rules, he'll get fed up and move out and start acting like the grownup that he should be. Does he pay her rent? Does he contribute to the bills? Does he help around the house? There's gotta be a really good reason why she treats him in this manner.

Answer 2

the older you get the less difference will be between your ages.
Right now you are dating a boy who hasn't passed legal age yet.
I agree that the crefew is very early but he is living under her roof and needs to abide by her rules. I would say once he hits 21 he should renigeonate the time.
When my son lived at home during his college years there was an agreement that on a school night he needed to be home by midnight, unless we got a call from him. On the weekend he was to be in by 3am and a phone call if it would be later.
This just isn't about control, it is about respect for the other person. I set rules so that I wouldn't lay awake and worry about him.
When I was single again, my adult daughter lived with me for a bit. I came in one night around 4:30 am and she worried about me, I then realized that this works both ways. From then on I would call her if I was going to be out late. We loved and respected each other enough to check in with each other.

Here is an idea, if he has to be in by 10 30 maybe you can hang out there. Just a thought.

If he has to live by these rules it won't be for long, He might have to get up at 5am and his mother knows he will lose his job if he doesn't sleep. There could be many reasons. Remember he is just 20 years old.

Life is short.......Play by mom's rules until he is on his own.

Answer 3

It is possible that his mother is very religious, if this is the case depending on her religion she won't slack up. The only thing I can think of is that if your aren't ready to move in together yet, but you want a change, tell him to get his own place for awhile. This will work for a short time, and if his mom is very protective she will try to talk him into moving back in. If this happens, tell him to refuse until she makes some changes to the rules.

Answer 4

Well he has to do what Mom say if yall not ready to move out. I think that parent get set in their ways and don't realize that where not babies anymore. So he should ask her on her best day in The best mood she can get in can she at least make it 12 or 1 because his a man now. And men got things to do way pass 10 LOL it will be okay and if not yall got move.

Answer 5

Her house, her rules. Don't like it? There's the door. Guess what? Grown ups have a life too and have to get up early in the morning to provide that roof over his head. Can't be up worrying about kids half the night. So, I guess the answer is you either deal with it as it is or find a new boyfriend.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Most likely his mom does not know much about American culture and was raised in a much different culture. For her to understand at such a late stage would be very difficult. The only solution I see is for him to move out when the time comes, and move in with you when you feel ready.

Answer 8

Hey.... may moms all over world love their child too much! And same with your friend.... may be you will do the same thing to your child, when will have experience of good and bad thingss in your life.

So as a good son of mother ;) I will suggest, be kind to your friend and his mother. Respect her feelings and be patient! These rules will change after few years, as soon as he will grow up from his moms viewpoint! .......... Are you really have an capacity to wait for good time without hurting anybody's feelings?

Answer 9

Hes a whipped mamas boy! She is over protective an lost in the 50s i think. She won't likely change,so get used to it till u move in together or find another guy.

Answer 10

Because its her house and she rules. I wouldn't want to be disturbed wondering if my son was coming home or not. Hey he can take it or leave it. If he happens to stay out later than his mother likes just let him spend the night. If he doesn't like it he can move out. He sounds like a mammas boy cause he should have gotten a job and moved already.