How do i get out of this??

Question

I feel so bad i found out that my partner had an affair a while ago and i now feel so depressed.It has set me off again. I have had depression before and it got really bad, I cant stop crying not eating not sleeping feel like throwing myself of a building

Answer 1

its hard but vigorous exercise really does work.use your anger and hurt to drive you on through the pain and exhaustion,this will give you a natural high which will counter act the low feelings.
after a few sessions the natural high will start to last longer and get rid of the low feelings.Try not to think about it or make any decisions while you are feeling down because your mood really effects your judgement.IT WILL GET BETTER, HANG ON IN THERE.GET LOTS OF FRESH AIR. GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

Sorry youve had to go through this, hopefully youve got rid of your partner. If he did it once, and you forgive him, theres the possibility he will do it again. Talking is a great way of letting out all the grief and anger, whether its your mum, closest friend, calling the samaritans, doctor, neighbours etc. People who love you will listen, offer a shoulder to cry on and be there for you without question.

You are going to feel lonely and bad for a while, there is no easy cure for this, its a betrayal of trust and trust is a hard thing to regain, so its normal be be emotionally all over the place.

You WILL come out of this low feeling though, ive had close friends go through this, both thought their world was ending at the time,, however the have both slowly moved on and have now both re-married, and are happy.

This will take time, but you will get there, I promise.

If you want to keep your partner and try again, that too is going to be a long hard struggle. Do you feel you can forgive totally? or are you going to throw the indescretion in his face every time you have an arguement. If you want to try again, you must look hard at yourself and think, can you really 100% forgive and move on? Its very hard once trust has been broken, so think long and hard if this is what you want to do.

I hope things go well for you, whichever you decide, its going to take time, cuddles and tears, but you will get there in the end.

Love lozzlaws xxx

Answer 3

Why? Your partner was the one who did the wrong doing, so he should throw himself off the building and not you.

You are the innocent victim.

Now obviously this person was NO good to begin with because he cheated on you !!!

So it's better that you found out now then if you had been Married to him !!!

Then you would be really crushed and have to go through a divorce too !!!

At least this way you can discard him like the trash he is and stop wasting time with him.

Now you can move on and find a nice guy.

Answer 4

Dear Dizzymoo,

I can relate tp your mental pain and really suggest that you contact a dr asap - or reach out to a family member or friend. I can also relate to your emtional turmoil over the affair, but say it was awhile ago and how did you find out? Is your relationship now worth killing yourself for? If it was or is, then why did your partner feel that he could have an affair. He does not deserve you. Please do not throw your life away for one bad apple - there are agencies that can help you save your relationship if that is what you want, or they can just help you to recover your self-confidence and self-worth. I really hope you feel strong enough to reach out - and that you can get through this, which I am sure you will. If you are so bad, howcome your partner has not made the calls for help for you or is their guilt getting in the way of them helping someone they love or claim to love. Please reach out dizzy - even if you just call the samaritians, just try and talk - you have taken the first step by writing on here, it is just a little more that you need to do. Good luck and please take care

Answer 5

I think you need to leave your partner. This situation is not good for your health. Unless this is an abusive person, then just pack your things and start a new life on your own. I do not think you should find another person to be with until you take the time to heal yourself from this relationship. Depression can be extremely hard to get out of. But you must be willing to make the effort to a better life. Get out, get healthy then try and find another person who is worthy of your love. Good Luck!

Answer 6

You need to stop blaming yourself and realise that HE'S the one at fault - it's not something you've done. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Find someone who values you and learn to love yourself again. If things get really bad, go and see your doctor - I had really bad depression after the birth of my second baby - I got treated with anti-depressants and found out that life is really worth living. Good luck.

Answer 7

Been there! I threw my huband out after 28yrs of marriage.A month later my mum was told she had cancer and had 3 months to live.She died in my arms on the 20th March this year.On the morning of her funeral my ex e-mailed me to tell me what a ***** I was!! I cried myself to sleep every night, my kids were really worried about me. Then last week I took both my boys to the beach for a few days and it worked wonders.My mum wouldn't want me to be unhappy and why should I suffer for something he has done.He is a low life and I deserve better. Hold your head high and build a new life for yourself thats what I'm doing. One day at a time. Good luck

Answer 8

I've been there in terms of the depression....almost tried suicide twice...

Whoever they are, they're jerks, and who ever they cheated on you with is probably also a jerk...so just take comfort in know that they'll probably cheat on each other in the future and have a miserable life!

Meanwhile, it's okay, go find someone else if you're ready.

Dating is all about searching for the special person, they obviously were'nt it, so go back to looking!

Answer 9

Most people would be angry... you've turned this anger inward, hence your depression. When people don't give us the strokes we need we feel depressed - he is unable to provide the support that you need because his actions directly contributed to this mess.

Dump him, and move on. You'll feel empowered for having taken action and distance yourself from this guy. He lacks integrity, and the damage is done. It's hard to bounce back from infidelity when your the one who was cheated on.

You can forgive him later, (for your own peace of mind) but for now send him packing and make it clear he's not welcome back. If you have kids don't worry about them they'll be better off with you.

Answer 10

no, dont get revenge by doin the same thing urself coz that wld mean sinking 2 his level- u have 2 show ur better than him, actually, ur MUCH too good for an arsehole like that! remind urself of that, n try 2 get over him by spendin more time with ur family n friends who will take ur mind off things- u need their support right now. n dont worry d rite gy is out der sumwhere u jus gotta look for him.