Is it true people w/bi-polar disorder normally tend to treat the person thier closest to them badly? verbally?

Question

I'm sure I have serveral stories I can tell and someone with a bi-polar person in thier lives can relate, but tonight after having a very nice weekend with my childrens father (former fiancee) On the way home he turned on me like a rabid dog!!!!! He asked me if I would give him a ride to work in the morning? I asked him if he could call me to wake me in the morning?? and trust me I said nothing orther than that. He started yelling and getting inraged. said well all sorts of nasty off the wall things. I am so ready to give up on him, everyone else has. What is the deal with this guy is it the illness or is he just a as-h-l-?? Please help me logically figure this thing out, i'm a very patient and compassionate person, but i need to get a better understanding on the illness so i can make a wise decision in continuing this relationship

Answer 1

Have you ever heard the phrase "You always hurt the one you love"? I don't think all bipolar people hurt the people they are closest to all the time, but it is always easier to let your worst side out when you're with someone you trust. I think you should talk to him about checking his medications (if he's already on them. If he's not, perhaps you could suggest that).
Bipolar disorder is a disease that can be controlled if it is medicated. Yes, people with bipolar act out of control sometimes, but it should never be an excuse for their actions. He definitely owes you an apology.
You should talk to him and tell him how you feel. Maybe that will help prevent such outbreaks in the future.

Answer 2

I don't know what kind of personality your children's father had before he developed bi-polar disorder so that may be a factor. He now has both his previous personality and the symptoms of this very serious mental illness. Bi-polar disorder used to be called manic-depressive disorder and one of the symptoms can be rapid mood swings. The truth is that this man needs to be under the care of a psychiatrist, see his doctor regularly, and be reliable about taking the medication his psychiatrist prescribes. If he can do this, he and the people around him will have the least amount of problems. But even if he is able to do that there can still be terrible problems. Bi-polar disorder can be a difficult illness for a doctor to treat for many reasons. The illness is a physical illness that causes mental and emotional problems. All of us have chemicals in our brain called neurotransmitters. Our bodies have a regulating system to keep these chemicals at their proper levels. In a person who has bipolar disorder this regulating system doesn't work properly, sometimes the levels get too high and the person is said to be manic. The person may hear "voices" and have delusions that they are God, that they are the devil, that people are persecuting them, and many other types of delusions. They can also be overly energetic, spend money foolishly, be hypersexual and many other things. If their chemical levels get too low, the person gets depressed and may also hear "voices", have delusions, and be irrational in many ways. If everyone has given up on him, it would seem that either his illness is too severe for him to stay stable even on medications or that he isn't willing or able to follow a psychiatrists treatment plan.
I may be wrong, but since you said you had a "pleasant weekend" with him, that the "wise decision" you may need to make is whether to continue a romantic relationship with him. If this is the case and since you aren't married, may I suggest that your decision be based on whether or not your life and your children's lives will better if you stay in a romantic relation with him or worse. May God grant that you make a wise decision.

Answer 3

wow.. lots of great answers here too.. and a couple really ignorant ones .. but who am I to judge..
there are a couple questions here to be answered.. are bipolar people mean? I would look at this from an entirely different perspective. Have you considered the thought that he just might be a wonderful guy with a horrible illness?
Being bipolar, I can speak from experience on this one.. I treat the people around me very badly at times.. I am accusatory, I think they are all lying, I think they conspire to drive me crazy by touching things they have no right to touch.. stupid little things.. like.. why is my towel hanging crooked in the bathroom when I know I left it straight on the towelbar on my way to work..
educate yourself .. breakdown the frustrating barrier that evidentally exists between his illness and your understanding of it..
learn to seperate the two different sides of what makes him who he is.. a decent guy with a horrible illness.. Do you think he means to treat the people around him so badly? I doubt it.. bipolar disorder is very frustrating to the person that has it.. there are times when the most obvious of things is a mental jumble of emotion... and times when he feels he has the answers to the deepest most guarded secrets of the world dancing through his mind.
It's not that you looked at him wrong or said the wrong things.. it is that the illness somehow translated it all backwards in his mind.. found a threat in something innocent. I will include a couple links.. educating yourself is probably going to help you understand this a whole lot more than anything anybody here can say.. you know yourself and him much better than any of us here can take into consideration..
a website to get you in the right direction.
http://www.bpso.org/
the experience BP section has some case histories that you are sure to relate well to ..
You are alone in your frustration. :)
Good Luck

Answer 4

Bi Polar disorder many times causes this kind of behvior. I finally was prescribed medication that helps me be more calm and strong. I am on prozac for the depression end of the spectrum and on Trileptel ( an anti-siezure medication) for the racing thoughts and inability to focus on proplems at hand. Every body is different and drugs don't work the same for everybody. I would suggest that your ex-fiace' seek out a good psychiotrist or even family doctor and start finding the right drug(s) to control his bi-polar disorder before he does something that he will regret for the rest of his life. My daughters had to deal with my mood swings and violent temper all the time they were growing up!!!! I almost lost their love and their respect because of it. Thank God that they were all pretty intelegent and forgiving.

Answer 5

No, most people with bipolar disorder will not act this way. If you allow him to treat you this way he may do so but even if his mood disorder triggered his reaction, he still should apologize to you. He is an adult and is still responsible for his bad behavior. However, he does need to be on medication and seeing a doctor to get good results with his disorder. You need to try to be understanding without being the recipient of abuse. There are support groups that may help you and your children understand and cope with their father's illness. Look up NAMI or DBSA on their websites and you will find a lot of information that will help you cope and may even help him feel better by finding a good management program for his illness.

Answer 6

I am bipolar and I am a very nice person as long as i stay on my meds.To me sometimes people use that as an excuse because they act certain way or do stupid stuff.I have mood swings even on my meds but there is a way to learn how to controll it.Some people either don't want to try hard enough because it's easier to say"screw it " then to work through it.In my opinnion there is no excuse.People with this disorder may not have the determination to want to get help but it can be controlled .There will still be times when ya get angry or overly excited,depressed ect. but bipolar people have to constantly remind theirselves that they are acting over irrational.IT takes hard work but everyone is different and don't have the same skills or support to deal with it.I don't know him personally so i can't judge him.Just sweetly remind him that he is acting like an @ss and you know he don't mean it.Try to figure out what is really bothering him.It could be something that has nothing to do with what he is mad about.Say something like i understand your upset.Or whats wrong hun.Try to change his mood by saying nice things to slowly change the subject and he might start thinking happier.Be a positive role model by showing him that life isn't so bad.He will catch on. Don't fight fire with fire that will just make things worse.you can im me if you want to i have learned alot about bipolar seeing as i deal with it every day with my self.I have learned alot of self control and it takes alot of understanding which i congradulate you for .Stay cool and calm as much as you can and he may follow your footsteps without even realizing it.

Answer 7

Yes, they seem to take out their mood swings on those closest to them. I have been around bi-polar people, and one of my very close friends dated a guy that was bi-polar and then another of my friends dated him when they broke up. He treated both horribly, and when he wasn't dating, he would treat his closest friends horribly. They need to be on medication, and aware of their actions. They can do this, I've seen it done, but he chose not to. And one night when the first of my friends dated him, he gave her HIS MEDS when she was worried about an exam! And told her it was just something to make her sleep better. Thinking she could trust him, she took them. Did we EVER have a long night after that. :( Even if your ex is on medications, he could still have bursts where he flies at nothing. He has to decide himself if he wishes to work on this with his doctor, and with himself. I wish you all the best. I've been on the receiving end of a bi-polar high, and I know just how it feels. God Bless.

Answer 8

I'd say move on.......
even when those with bi-polar disorder are treated and are on the meds they need to be
they can be very difficult to deal with.......
you should look it up i think the American psychological foundation might have information on it as could a bi-polar support group......
it tends to be trying for those who hold relationships with those that are bi-polar which is why many float through friends/partners/jobs etc etc

Answer 9

My sister has bipolar disorder, and she sometimes treats my mom like crap, even though my mom does everything for her. This is only sometimes though, and she is very sweet most of the time. I think that she is frustrated and takes it out on my mom because she knows that my mom will keep on loving her regardless. But if your ex is treating you crappily all the time, maybe he needs different medication, or maybe you need to tell him how you feel when he's in a better mood...good luck, I know how rough it can be! : )

Answer 10

He sounds like my Dad and one of my ex girlfriends. The only way these people learn is to move on, and tell them why you are moving on. Their next relationship might be better. But, I wouldn't try to maintain this relationship.

Some people, like my Dad, only respond well if you yell louder and more vigorously. But, you need to know if your dude-friend will respond well to that before you try it. It may backfire.

He may think you are obliged to take him to work in the morning. Some crazy logic, or truth, who knows. In that case, argue with logic, present your side of the story, your needs.