what is a good way to talk to your teenagers so they will listen?

Answer 1

Try reaching their level, do something "cool" thats still acceptable... allow a sleepover they have been asking for, or give some kind of freedom they have wanted. On a trial basis, explain that you are willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. While offering something "cool" open the lines of communication and try to use whatever "cool" thing you are offering as a starting point of the discussion you wish to have. Teens like to be given responsibility and control, but giving a little you may just get a lot in return. Some teens with take a mile when given an inch, so start small with something you can easily contol like a sleepover vs. a roadtrip :)
Teens seem much more receptive when you reach their level... the gal across the street was really flaky about babysitting and such, but as soon as I mentioned that I might just be the chaperone she was searching to find for a KORN concert she suddenly became much more responsible. I was doing something "cool" but allowing her to be herself, and her parents knew that I would keep things in line while still allowing her to have fun. Once that happened trust was built and talking to her seemed to flow a lot more than the brick wall I was facing before.
Find common ground, it may not be easy but it works. Don't treat him/her like a child. I may be an adult, but I remember my teen years and adults who treated me as an equal (when I deserved that) were the best ones to be around in my book.

Answer 2

One way is to actually have the conversation with someone else while they are present, so they don't think they are getting lectured, and will probably then actually think about what is being said as if it were there own decision in the matter.

You could even just have the conversation where you say, "You know what is really stupid, _______"

Then the person you are talking to will say "yeah, _______ is pretty stupid, I thought about it once, and it made no sense to me"

This will work better if the person you are talking to is someone that the teenager might think is cooler or look-up to in a non-parental sort of way.

Of course, this won't work all the time or in all contexts, and will require the teenager to be hanging around for some reason.

Try to find a way to make the conversation seem natural. Like make up a story that you heard, or if you see it on TV.

Answer 3

I agree about keeping it short and light

Go in with the attitude that you are telling them how you think it is, but remember that they are a human being and you cannot change their mind/control them or make them believe the same things as you. They are beginning to be an adult and they are a seperate human being to you now, not a child who will believe and think what you believe and think. They are learning to stand on their own two feet and leave home. Its your job to accept that and embrace that and give them the tools to be able to leave home, and to argue and stand up for what they believe in. This is often harder for the parent than the child, so deal with your own issues around it.

Begin by opening the topic and then listening to them - actively - hear them on what they think about the subject (and let them get that you are actually listening ie: nod, repeat bits back, clarify what they are saying) Then - and this is important - don't assume they are wrong or stupid or judge them in their opinion. Try and remember what it was like to be a teenager (ie: wanting to rebel, test your own boundaries, be grown up one minute and then feel scared and like you want a hug and your mom the next - except you're too embarrassed to admit that)

Once you've heard their opinion, explain your opinion and if possible tell them your experiences (nothing graphic though PLEASE) so they can see that you were once like them too, and you weren't born old. Again remember that you can't change their opinion you can only educate and inform and explain from your experience and knowlege.

Be open to reasonable adult negotiation , and discuss the subject with other mums and dads - especially if you are reverting to rules your mum and dad laid down and you aren;t sure if they are relevant today

And if need be - set ground rules and boundaries about what you won't accept and stick to these. Kids need to know where they stand.

Answer 4

I think the biggest roadblock for parent/teen communication is that parents have a hard time remembering that their teens are individuals. The reason that teens tend to listen more to friends than parents is because there's a built-in barrier of adult/child. Teenagers really hate being looked at as children and so usually don't listen to what the parent has to say because the teen assumes it's going to be another one of THOSE talks.You have to take the initiative and basically level with the teen and let them know that you realize that they are their own person outside of being your child. If you talk to your teen like you would talk to a peer and give them that same level of respect without giving the impression that you're talking down to them, they are more likely to be responsive.

Answer 5

Well, I believe that one way to talk to your teenagers so they will listen is to ask them questions. Ask them how they are doing, how school is going. Always show interest in them and what they are doing. Be genuine about it too. The most inportant thing here is to always be in the know. If you are not, then you are probably missing out on so much your teen is doing. Don't get me wrong teens need there space too, but as long as they are living in your house and you are supporting them they have to live under your rules........Are they gonna get aggravated by all the questions you ask, of course. But, at the same time whether you realize it or not they are gonna know that your only doing because you care. Just remember, be firm, but genuine and always, always be in the know.....Good luck!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Find out what actually they like and do that.First of all win their confidence, make them feel you can do anything for them then they may come to you for suggestion. And when your giving a suggestion just show the both the ways good and bad and allow them to decide.Even if they make a mistake dont get furious.
Give a suggestion not an advice

Answer 7

First and foremost is that You need to listen to them before they will listen to you. As a parent We must teach by example and listening is a skill that has to be learned. So to teach them to listen you must be a good listener yourself. Start a convesation about something you know they like and just listen to what they have to say. Prety soon you will find that they will begin to listen to you.

Answer 8

teenagers that listen... there Boy or Girl Friends

Answer 9

Try at the dinner table without TV or other distractions. Keeping the tone light and the amount of informtaion discussed at each sitting short and to the point can also help.

Answer 10

How do you talk to your friends so they listen? Kids are a lot more likely to listen to people who talk to us like we're a person rather than like a parent/teacher/whoever lecturing a kid. Give advice rather than orders. If my mom just tells me not to do something I'm more likely to do it than if she hadn't said anything at all, but if she explains to me honestly why she thinks it's a bad idea, but doesn't tell me I'm not allowed, then I usually follow her advice. So just don't try so hard to figure out how to make your kid listen to you, and just talk them like they're a normal person and you want them to follow your advice.