How 2 make my mother happy?

Question

My mom grew up in poverty.When young,she worked hard 2 earn money so that her brothers and sisters can get proper education.When she married, it was not exactly a happy marriage but she held on for the sake of me & my brother. My father died 10 years back & she had to work again after a gap of 25 years.I became an engineer and my brother a doctor because of her hard work. i had a love marriage 3 years ago,not exactly against her wishes but she was not exactly happy with it either.Now, after a big fight, my wife has walked out of my home.We r thinking of seperating. my mom, in her old age, has to witness all this. She is upset all day. I WANT 2 MAKE HER HAPPY, BRING SOME CHEER IN HER LIFE. HOW DO I DO THAT. PLEASE ADVICE, PLEASE HELP ME

Answer 1

She wants you to be happy.

She wants to see you in the loving, successful marriage she didn't have.
My husband and I have been reading aloud 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. It shows how men and women think differently and misinterpret each other. A lot of problems between the sexes are based on these differences. Approach your wife and tell her you want to work it out-that she is worth it to you to make the effort. If you can get her to agree then take the steps to work out your differences, whether it is counseling or even reading the book I mentioned out loud. It is a fact that marriages that end in divorce, with exceptions like abuse, do not have more or worse problems than marriages that don't end in divorce. The difference is that the ones that stayed together stuck it out, made the effort to make it work and didn't give up.

Finally, while it will please your mother to have your marriage work you must, bottom line, take this action for yourself and your wife. Her happiness at this is a nice sidebar but cannot be the main reason for the effort.

Answer 2

Your Mother is probably upset because she wants the best for you and your brother as stated and your wife and you are splitting up was probably not your idea of fun either.

I wouldn't recommend getting back to your wife if both you and she are not happy, but you should discuss things thoroughly before you make any definite decision. She might have gotten spurred up in the heat of the moment and may calm down, you too.

As for your mother, since you and your brother seem to be doing pretty well (at least in your careers) Perhaps you could visit her every now and then (perhaps once a week) so that she can feel loved and see her hard life work in use.

Answer 3

Speaking as a mother...

I agree with an earlier reply. It is absolutely not your job to make your mum happy and she shouldn't make you feel that burden. That does not mean you are selfish, it's the way it should be. When you have kids, they owe you nothing. The joy is to have them - and she must be very proud of you and your brother's achievements, you sound like a lovely son.

I only feel sad if my kids are unhappy, I want them to find love, be fulfilled and have a great circle of friends. I want this for them, not for me and I only feel their pain. That's love. It's interesting that you say of your marital problems 'my mum has to witness all this'. It's your marriage!

I am fully aware that there are mothers that always think about how other people's problems affect them - my mother is the same - but you really need to free yourself from feeling guilty. Guilt is a totally useless emotion and her unhappiness is her own issue. It's too easy to blame others.

As for your wife, if YOU still believe in your marriage then go after her, if not move on and find love elsewhere, you deserve to be happy, but do it all for you.

Answer 4

You need to free yourself from this burden. Your mom is unhappy for her own reasons that lie within her. As much as I know you want to bring her happiness, it's not something you can solely do alone. Only she can make herself happy. Unfortunately, it sounds like this may never happen and I'm really sorry to hear that. But don't blame yourself or put such a burden on yourself, that will only create two unhappy people! Your responsibility to your mother is to love her and keep in contact with her, not to erase years of pain and disappointment.

Answer 5

Wow,,, you are so lucky that you got the best mother ever. Run after and get your wife back. Tell her lovely things....like you love her. I hope she will be back to you.
Your mother is unhappy because she wants all the family gather near her and say funny funny things to cheer her up.
After that, you should do family reunion dinner and give some present to your mother, I am sure you mother will definely happy for that.

Answer 6

Her happiness isn't dependent upon you. Every single person on this planet has to make their own happiness. No one can do it for them. Just tell ma you love her and take her out for nice dinners and things occasionally.

Answer 7

tell her not to worry too much cos its not good for her health, spend more time with her or take her out once in a while.

Answer 8

that sucks...well good luck with that...take her out to dinner or something...do something she enjoys even if you dispise it with a passion...