I am a month pregnant and my boyfriend is trying to tell me he wants custody of the child, what can i do?

Question

He is going to use my scars from cutting myself a couple of years. Will that make a difference if I dont any more?

Answer 1

Get a lawyer. If you are really better and don't cut yourself anymore, you will probably be fine. I'm pretty sure the court usually favors the mother, but you will need legal representation if he is planning to sue for custody.

Answer 2

He can file a lawsuit for termination of your parental rights. It will never work unless he can show that you are a threat to your child. Being a treat to yourself in the past (cutting) does not have anything to do with your fitness as a parent in the future. It is very VERY rare for a court to terminate a parent's rights, unless it can be shown that the parent deliberately and intentionally has or will endanger the child's life. Just being a shitty parent doesn't do the trick. Even if he can prove that you smoke, have no education, no job, the house was a mess etc., he still would not win. Even if all of that was true, it's not enough to conivince a court that you can't raise the child. If you do drugs during the pregnancy, you may have a reason to worry -- not just about hurting the baby, but also about giving your boyfriend the ammunition he needs to take custody of that baby.

Answer 3

Sounds like you're screwed.

Get a lawyer and definately seek some local legal advice.

If you are an unstable mother with suicidal tendancies then you aren't fit for motherly responsibilities especially if you aren't able to take care of yourself so stay clean and get yourself together keep your head held high and things will turn out the way they are meant too one way or another.

What's important is the babies safety and future so both parents should be evauluated to ensure proper treatment and environment for the child.

Stay relaxed though and don't worry.

Cutting yourself up, aka slashing your wrists and only being just a couple of years ago doesn't exactly sound good, but I know a few women that have done that and turned out to be great mothers, 1 that tried to kill herself and I talked her out of it she now has 3 kids and a happy marriage with her husband. Ok, there were atleast 4 others I think can't remember. There is a few though where they needed serious help, if that's the case I recommend counseling and evaluated dedicated rehab longterm not short term. If you develop any signs of taking stress out on the child after the child is born seek help, though this could happen before birth during pregnancy too, seek help if you need it.

Answer 4

Get a lawyer and talk about it. Find out what your options are. Usually the court favors the mother, unless you have current problems. And if you're not married and he's not there for you throughout your pregnancy, then he got less chance. Each state might be different, so check the family law section on your state website.
He has to put up with you and give you support (monetary and moral) while you're pregnant and show that he's capable of taking care of the baby before he could take it from you I think.
And if you said the child isn't his, he has to ask for DNA testing or somekind before he can ask for custody.

Answer 5

I think that basically if you don't have his name on the birth certificate, and the child to be has your last name, there is no law that dictates the child has to have his last name, even if you are married actually. If when you go to fill out the birth certificate papers and hopefully your boyfriend isn't still around you should just put unknown for the father's information. My mother-in-law did that for my husband because when my hubby was born his father wasn't even in the province, he was working on the other side of the country, plus there were bad family feelings going around with them not being married yet. Anyway, his grandmothers were fighting between themselves paternal gran was saying that they were going to fight for custody of my hubby so when Shaun was born his dad wasn't there and before he got back all the papers were signed and mailed. He has his mother's maiden name even though his parents eventually did get married a few years later. His father never adopted him to change the last name. But this being father's day he stopped in the city for a visit with his boys and his grandson's.

Answer 6

Tell that boy to get a job and start worrying about how he is gonna feed and clothe the child. I don't think he will win any custody suit against you based on scars from the past. The court would have to prove you incompetant,and that's a battle he has no money to fight with,nor does he have much to stand on.

Answer 7

Tell him if he keeps stressing you out like this there may be no child. Also, you should have nothing to worry about. His actions sound highly spontaneous and boisterous. Consult a lawyer and see a mediator anyway, if he is really serious.
Why would you get involved with someone like this? He seems so uncaring to stress you out at a time like this. You're better than I am, I'd call a brother or two on him, straighten this mess out.

Answer 8

Yes it will. And, the only way he can be take custody is to be legally declared the father of the child by signing papers at the hospital, or going to court AFTER the baby is born. I'd suggest that as soon as your baby is born, you go to court yourself and get a sole physical/sole custody order. In the meantime, your boyfriend is a controlling jerk and you need to get rid of him.

Answer 9

he needs to prove that you are unfit. Go and start seeing a counselor NOW in case he does try to use that. The counselor can speak on your behalf in court if needed. In the meantime get prenatal care to make sure your pregnancy is healthy this will also show you are ALREADY taking good care of yourself and unborn child. And make sure that you are eating good and all that stuff. Your doc should tell you. Make sure you can do a better job of supporting and caring for the child. Cutting is done because of emotions. you need to get your emotions in check.

Answer 10

Whoever is best fit to raise a child...hopefully you can do this together.

I hate stories of how there is a custody battle and then they ask for money from the other partner to raise the child.

If man can raise and better fit let him raise...just like a woman.