I NEED to speak to someone who can relate to loss of an only child- teenager or young adult. I am going crazy.

Question

My son was 18...just graduated from high school. I have no other children and feel like my life is over. I am so depressed. Help

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your loss. This situation is probably the hardest to handle of all situations. You do need help. It may sound crazy but you are not crazy, this loss is making you crazy, but only temporarily. You may never stop hurting but in time the hurt can be managed so you can have a happy productive life ahead.

You must get help. Talk to someone that has training to help people in grief as you are. A Pastor, a therapist, a family member or all the above. Cry and resist any temptation to end your own life. Give it time. You may not feel close to normal for a long time, but it comes back.

Really, get to a professional and you will get the help you seek.

Answer 2

My condolences to you. That is one of the hardest things for a parent to accept -- and the fact that he was an only child doesn't make the loss any deeper than if he had been one of several children. Each child is unique and wonderful, and one can't replace another. I can empathize with you because I, too, lost a child, and still miss him. I have three other children, whom I love dearly, but none of them is him. And never will be. In time, your heart ache will ease, but it never really goes away.
Please don't feel your life is over, however. That isn't what your son would want, or how he would want you to remember him. He'd be happier knowing that you were getting on with your life, using your energy to help other people who need your assistance, and that would be a better memorial to him than simply giving in to gloom and depression.
God bless you.

Answer 3

It is only natural for you to feel depressed under these circumstances. If your son were with you and could give you advice, what would he want you to do?

PLEASE seek professional help. There are crisis lines in nearly every community that operate 24 hours. You can go to your local ER if you are having suicidal thoughts. If you can make it through the night, call for professional help first thing in the morning. Set you alarm for 8 am and call right away!

I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

Mark has been gone for three years...maybe two...car accident...little older...but around the same age as your boy...time has warped itself things long ago seem near...and things in the present seem unreal.
I still hear him his voice at times in the street...but most of the damning memories are from when he was seven before his mom and I split apart.
Panic attacks....a touch of agoraphobia...sometimes I feel if I start screaming my throat will explode with the pressure I feel building up...and sometimes I feel as if I drank drano...nothing would happen for there is a part of me that is already dead. The pain has notgone away...but i slowly learn to live with it.
I have found out the hard way that none of my friends have no idea how to act around me...and some of the worst insults I have ever heard came in grief groups (As well as some of tyhe warmest hugs ever) and from therapists.
I found out the hard way that despite all the people tellingyou that you can't do this alone and you should not be alone...most of this process is a solitary one. I am not talking isolating yourself and cutting yourself off from help when it comes...
just sharing my experience. None of my friends who have children ever bring up the topic of Mark's death. I share this stuff with you so that they won't be new when you go through these things...if that is your path.
I write Mark when I get the chance...when I am hurting. Then I put the letter in an envelope...put his name on the envelope...and nothing else...and drop it in the mailbox down the street...or I write a letter and put it in a bottle and cork it...and throwit intothe sea...or light a candle...and talk to him.
There is a priest and his wife that I talk to...and have been talking to.for the last couple of years. And I avail myself whenever the urge strikes me. Being there for yourself now is a very hard thing to do...but being gentle with yourself is even harder. Please try. reach out to some of the older members of your family...a favourite aunt or cousin...someone who was always there for you as you were growing up. You would be suprised at the wisdom and compassion that come from your elders. We have little idea of the things they have seen or storms they have weathered.
Again, I am sorry you lost your son. I wish you the very best in taking care of yourself. Peace.

Answer 5

Was your son murdered? If so, there is the group, Parents of Murdered Children. I lost my first born son. He was an infant. I did go on to have three more children. I am sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I would suggest talking with someone. Either a counselor, minister or the like.

Answer 6

My heart goes out to you. Please, look for a grief counselling group where you can share your feelings. There are groups for parents who have lost a child. You need to be near people who understand, who have been there and can help you, if only by just being there for you. I'm not talking about going to something churchy - no offense to religious people, but in a situation like this she needs somebody who truly have been there and understand. I've known a couple of people who have lost a child and I know from them telling me, really only somebody else who has been there can truly understand. I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your loss. Although, I have not lost a child. I came close. My only daughter attempted suicide in October. I couldn't imagine going on if she had completed it. My heart aches for you. It's gonna take time. Let yourself grieve and maybe later when you are up to it go online or in person to a support group. God bless, and please know that there are still good times to be had.

Answer 8

Two years ago I received a message from a stranger in the west literally out of the blue. She too was grieving over her young son who was hit on his bike. Her world was a wreck and so was mine for a different reason. I was freaking out and near psychotic from learning the second vocabulary. She spoke straight and brought me down . My panic was gone. Later she had little empathy to continue but her son's death softened her heart to save me.

Answer 9

i can not relate to your loss but i can offersome comfort, if you just pray , even when it hurts too much. god will comfort you. i lost a bf that i put b4 god ,he left , i was crushed and prayed and now i am happier than ever. i know my loss is not close to your loss but jehovah ,jesus,god whatever you chose can offer comfort and you can tell him what you really feel and know he cares,wont judge you,and loves you and will help you through this. im sorry for your loss and hope you soon find peace and happiness. i will pray for you also.

Answer 10

There are grief support groups you can join. Ask your Dr. You may also need anti depressants to get you through this.

I am so sorry for your loss.