I am not a child asking this question, and yes I know why would an adult ask such a thing, but I feel like I should still do anything my parents say, I am just ready to live my life and try to understanding why they have treated me so wrong, when I feel that I have done everything that I could for them, my husband said to just try to do my best, but not to total boot them out of my life. Someone told me to go seek counciling but I just don't really believe in that.
2006-06-18 16:41:31 · 12 answers · asked by thats me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
OK here is another question.....for the ones who say go see a therapist...how would I even find a good one???
2006-06-18 16:52:52 · update #1
Start by NOT asking them their opinion on everything you do. And don't ask them if something you are about to do is a good idea or not also. They raised you and gave you a sense of morals. Try to live by that and your own good sense.
2006-06-18 16:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by my_alias_id 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A good therapist will help you gain clarity on your relationship in a way that you cannot. Give that option a second thought. Work on your confidence. Take inventory of all the ways you are a responsible and capable person. The change will not come from your parents, but from you. Believe in yourself and be patient and kind to yourself. You will find the answers you need to resolve this.
2006-06-19 00:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by Nobody in particular 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my family doesn't agree with everything I do and say. They have their various religious and even antireligious beliefs. I do my own thing. Sometime the athiests are happy, and sometimes the christians are happy about it. They know I have decided to just be me, and if they don't like me, they can fu$% off. It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who your not. Espepcially when it comes to your family. If they can't accept you for who you are, that's sad, but you shouldn't have an obligation to act like something you are not. A loving family will understand that. People often don't like my personel beliefs, but I have done many things to help out many people. My family being included. So they respect me for my actions, and the way I treat others. Even if they don't like me getting drunk and hanging out at the stripclubs, or arguing with the religious people when they seem to be pushing their beliefs on me and the people around me. The people that know me, and see the things I have done for others know I'm a good guy, and respect that wheather they like me or not. So don't boot them out of your life. Just be who you are, and if it's a respectable person, they will likly be able to accept that.
2006-06-18 23:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by slee z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ARE seeking counseling by posting online, just not from a real counselor. It's very simple- you just have to say NO. Don't give them an explanation or an excuse, just say NO. Place some geographical space between you and your parents, don't give them a key to your house, get caller ID and only answer the phone when you want to talk.
2006-06-18 23:45:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jetgirly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If You Had Controlling Parents : How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World (Paperback)
by Dan Neuharth
2006-06-18 23:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents were very controlling and I was well into my 30s before I even understood it. I have had a very hard time with this problem. Psychotherapy has helped me a lot. I am 56 now, and continue to "recover" from the way I was raised.
2006-06-18 23:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by crao_craz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel that way also. What i do is just vist once a week becasue of my son. Then holidays. I never call to chit chat or let them in on my little secerets. But it helps when i just give them a little bit of time on the weekends. Sometimes i wouldnt go around for weeks. then they would call me and ask me what is up. I would tell them i have been really busy and havent had time to visit.
GOOD LUCK
2006-06-18 23:47:10 · answer #7 · answered by toodie7298 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to do it slowly. So you don't hurt yourself or them.
I don't think you need counsiling for this. They (your parents) might take it personally if you do go that way.
don't call as much (if you call all that often)
don't take all their phone calls.
talk to them about it. tell them that you feel you need space and maybe that you aren't a child anymore. If you make it clear that you love them but want them to give you space, they might understand.
I had to deal with a similar situation, but for me I just stopped calling and I stopped taking their calls.. I mean i didn't completely ignore them, but after a year of all this, it finally got to the point that my mother only called to tell me something that happened to a family memeber or to invite me to dinner or something
Good luck and stay strong
2006-06-18 23:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by stargazer673 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want counciling but you'll ask total strangers on the internet? Try a professional otherwise someone might intentionally mess with your head. Fart Snorter (See!)
2006-06-18 23:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by Rip H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you, I would stand my ground and not allow them to control me. After all you are an adult and a married woman, for heaven's sakes.
2006-06-19 12:40:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋