I'm in college and have a lot of freedom when I'm there. When I come home--as I am for the Summer-- I have a really early curfew of 10 PM on weekdays and 12 AM on weekends. I don't have time to go out with my friends and have fun! My parents reasoning for the curfew is that they don't want to go to bed until I'm home. I've tried talking to them but they refuse to consider anything but how it is now. Please help me!!
2006-06-18 16:10:39 · 67 answers · asked by tom_a_hawk12 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Moving out is not an option due to financial reasons. I would if I could!
2006-06-18 16:13:51 · update #1
I'm only home for the Summer and breaks from School. So it gets frustrating!
2006-06-19 08:26:20 · update #2
Being in college, and I assume they are paying, they feel they have a say in your life. Until you pay your own way, the will feel that way. You are an adult, but your alternative is to reject the education they are providing and go party or try to negotiate something better for yourself and learn to deal with it.
Maybe a little give and take. Tell them you will be home 3 week nights at 10 and Sunday night at 12, but the other days you may or may not be home when they require. Tell them that you will respectfully inform them what days in advance you won't be home and give them your best estimate of when you will be, even if it is 11:00 am the next day. They will appreciate your candor and will be forced to play the big card: Get out and forget the education.
I think if you are respectful and stick to your word, they will not be happy, but will loosen up and deal with your night life and still begrudgingly send you back to school.
2006-06-18 16:12:33 · answer #1 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dude, just break the curfew, what are they going to do.....ground you? Well they might make you move out. I understand not being able to move out I'm in college to and am working and I barely have enough money to pay attention. Maybe negotiate with them. Tell them you will call them when you coming home as a heads up. Thats what I do with my parents and I'm 20. Though I don't have a set curfew either. But try telling them that you will call them when you coming home so they can expect you arrival shortly there after! Hope I helped!
2006-06-18 16:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Just Me♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't see you as an adult. The reason why they impose the curfew on you is that they must not think you are responsible enough. Well how do you prove that you are?
Just take it a step at a time. What you need to do is give them advance warning that next week you'll be going to a party or something and ask if they could grant you a special dispensation for this one night. Up until then you have to be good as gold. You have to offer to do the cleaning, take out the garbage, tidy up after yourself, cook even. They need to see that you are a responsible adult. Then they might start treating you like one.
2006-06-18 16:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by Bapboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had some of the same issues. While you may have to suck it up and wait til you go back to school, try telling them you understand how they feel, but while you're home, you'd like to spend some more time out with friends. Start small. maybe ask for extended curfew for one or two days a week if you come in early on one or two days. Do you have a cell phone? Ask them if they would be willing to call you and do the check in thing. Bottom line you have to ask for a compromise or just deal. You could always sneak out after they go to bed.. hopefully they aren't light sleepers..lol
2006-06-18 16:16:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to tell them that you are an adult and in college so they have no control over your life anymore. Don't be rude but just tell them that you aren't a child and they cannot force you to be home at a certain time, yes it is their house but I think when they realize that you can go out and be responsible they will ease up on the curfew. Good luck!
2006-06-18 16:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by gypsilee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably going to hear this a lot..... You need to move into your own place. You are an adult now, you don't need a curfew! Move out, maybe you can get a little studio apartment or something. But you need your freedom. You don't want to look back on your life and realize that you missed out on your fun as a young adult. So say bye bye to mommy and daddy and be gone.
2006-06-18 16:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by mini_may04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved back from IN to WI and moved in with my mom. I'm a mother and I still had to abide by her rules. I finally got a job,saved enough and got our own place. Parents don't care how old your are they are your parents and you a still there child. If you really must stay out with your friends let your parents know you won't be coming home that night so they can go to bed, just don't make it an every night thing. Show them respect they are helping you thru college.
2006-06-18 16:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Dianne R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of parents feel that its there house so its their rules. I know a lot of people on here are telling you just to move out but I know where you are coming from. I had to move back at home and that's how they treated me. Just sit down with them and tell them that your grown and that you know that you are their child, but that they have nothing to worry about and that you won't come home at different times of the morning. I know that's its their house and all but if you didn't come home when they wanted you 2 what are they really going to do. Kick you out, I really don't think that they would. Most parents wouldn't. They can't ground you. So I would just try talking to them again and if that doesn't work test them one night just to see what they really would do.
2006-06-18 16:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by BabyBoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them if you keep your grades up if they will consider letting you stay out later. If not move out you are too old to be living at home. You and a few of your friends can get part time jobs and go in together and get an inexpensive apartment. It is your parents home and you have to live by their rules, even if they don't want to compromise. God Bless.
2006-06-18 16:15:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your parents haven't noticed you becomming an adult. However, you must respect their rules.
Sit them down and have a good talk with them, keep your head and actually explain that you are used to freedom and are an adult. Keeping calm and mature will demonstrate to them that you are actually an adult, and that you are mature enough to be outside when you like.
Tell them you don't have or NEED anyone waiting up for you at college, so why have it at home?
Other than that my friend, I'd say it's time to move out.
2006-06-18 16:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by indygocean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋