Okay at 16 right before this girls 17th birthday she got rpd loosing her virginity in a relationship with a boy she trusted. After that she gave it up to her recent boyfriend that she has been with for a long time but was having flash backs of when she got rpd. She was crying and very emotional and upset with him. He knows what happened to her but he doesnt understand why she is mad at him. Do you think that this could affect her relationship or any future relationships she is in with a man that only wants to show her love and affection and tries something with her?
2006-06-18 16:07:11 · 11 answers · asked by Tbaby 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It will affect her for ever. After I was attacked i didn't want anyone to touch me for 2 years. I couldn't even hug my friends. I still hesitate to hug people. If I initiate the hug then i am usually ok, but if someone else does i feel uncomfortable. It is something she will deal with forever. Trust is a very hard thing to learn when someone took your trust and abused it. Her boyfriend needs to realize it is not him that she is mad at. He needs to know it takes time to come to terms with things like this. I hope she gets some counseling. That really helped me a lot. I also took a self defense class so I can fight back if it ever happened again. I feel for her and may God bless her.
2006-06-18 16:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by doc_is 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well first off, this girl if she hasn't already needs to report that rpd, that will help cope with this situation alittle bit better knowing that the person who did this to her won't hurt anyone else. Second this girl really needs to get to know her boyfriend and should be her best friend. She needs to ask herself this question "would I risk my life for this man?" if so then she trusts him. She needs that trust in her relationship or she will keep on having those haunting from that night. I don't think that she has moved on from this tough situation and really needs to talk to someone even her boyfriend about it. It might be best to seek professional help like a psychologist.
2006-06-18 16:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by Ashlee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Krystall. Rape is a humiliating and horrific crime that invades a person in the most unspeakable way. If you are writing this question in third person to deflect it from yourself, I suggest that you sit down with your father and let him know what happened. Bottling up the feelings of a rape have long-term and traumatic consequences. For instance, the person may suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, where even the scent of a man's cologne could trigger a response from the victim (i.e. the attacker wore the same cologne). Or, the victim could repress the rape, and months or perhaps years later, experience flashbacks. These are just a few of many psychological consequences that could occur. I know it is difficult, and I am so sorry that this happened to you. But because you are only 17, there are laws to protect you if you decide to prosecute. Either way, there are also state laws to protect you if you decide to seek counseling (which I hope you do). You are more than welcome to email me if you need to talk further. I hold a Master of Arts in Clinical Counseling Psychology, and worked with adjudicated females, many of whom were rape and incest victims.
2006-06-18 16:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by adjoadjo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it will effect her and how she handles any kind of relationship for now on. RP is a traumatic situation. Not only psychologically, but also physically. Yes the guy "took" her virginity away from her. but he also took her self-respect along with it. this young lady will always want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. She'll want love and understanding. But deep in her sub-conscous, she's feeling a whole lot differently. She questioning herself on whether she deserves that kind of love and affection. and why is that man trying to give it to her. She'll always question men now as she'll be suspicous of all men and their intentions. She will never really learn to trust a man fully to be truly intiment with him. It's just a reaction in her sub-conscous now that will never go away, she can't trust anyone because she trusted that first guy and he hurt her. And she thinks any other guy will do the same.
2006-06-18 16:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by jtracer48 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, what do you think? a young female of 16 is raped (which by the way is the worse thing that could ever happen to her). and being rape it is sexually related. would you think that it should bother her?
Something like that does not go away she will always have issues with sex. her life has been shattered and it all had to do with sex being given to her without her consent. Every nightmare she has every thought about sex this will haunt her. Sure one day she will cope but it will take time and a lot of time at that she needs understanding not rushed not pressured and not questioned she needs pure and simple a lot of understanding and time.
2006-06-18 16:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very likely that it will. if you're interested in having a relationship with her, just be patient. the most important thing to do is set the pace incredibly slow when it comes to the physical side of the relationship. shower her with love and affection and make sure you let her know you're with her because you want to be with her, not because you think she's easy or anything.
2006-06-18 16:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to affect her in one way or another. I still have a hard time trusting people and it has been years
2006-06-18 16:11:33 · answer #7 · answered by beccasmom1224 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it could damage her in that she feels vulnerable to guys, her boyfriend should have understood that she is scared about committing to a man because one had hurt before, and if he did he shouldn't have pressured her into doing it... but if she was all willing to do it then i see no reason for her to be mad, scared yes but not mad.
2006-06-18 16:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by Kyndra Rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from experience yes something like that scars the brain that person will probally have to go to counseling to learn and understand themselves better
2006-06-18 16:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was the initial rape reported? Doesn't sound like it. Does this kid's parents even know what happened to her? She MUST HAVE some serious serious help right now before her entire life gets really f'ed up bad! The effects this traumatic event will impact all facets of her life... to a point where later in life (or even sooner) she could wind up taking her own life. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! GET HER HELP NOW!!!! PRONTO!
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? NOW!
2006-06-18 16:13:56 · answer #10 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋