So Im a father of a child that I share custody with. I have fought constantly over my daughter just to be with her and her mother still talks down about me. What should I do? I have tooken her to court four times in the last 5 years and the system seems to rule in my favor half the time. She cant even get my daughter to school most the time and fights with me about it saying she is sick. Well from april to march she missed 19 days of school that month. Whats the deal?
2006-06-18 16:07:08 · 13 answers · asked by Caliraised 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I suggest that the next time you go to court, bring up all these points. It should help your case quite a bit.
2006-06-18 16:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a long road and we've been through similar things with my step-daughter. As a father: know that you have a right to access to your daughter's medical recors and physicians/ doctors. Ask them about the visits... let them know about hte constant so called sickness. Your ex may have munchhausen by proxy. It happened to my step-daughter. She'd miss our visits because her mom would always say she was sick and take her to all kinds of doctor's. My husband brought it up to his attorney, the court, and the doctor's he was able to get a hold of. A child should have one primary doctor, NOT more that ten. It's not normal for a child to be sick all the time unless there is something serious, but it should have been diagnosed by now. When my husband' sex was questioned and confronted... guess what? The crap and lies about sickness stopped because she was told she'd loose her shared custody and may even go to jail for child endangerment. Also, it's against the law to keep a child out of school for so long. Shouldn't the school be concerned? Talk to them as well. Your ex has NO right to keep your child from school for so long. All this evidence should prove in your favor... good luck and be stong!!! Your daughter needs you even if she doesn't know it!!!
Oh, I forgot: KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING YOU DO AS WELL AS DOCUMENT ANYTHING YOU DO!!! It's very important so the court will go in your favor.
2006-06-19 07:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about all that constant fighting and court stuff.
Here's the thing, when I prepare for a fight, it makes me want to fight! And that's not always the best thing for me, my daughter, or my ex.
I have a child with my ex, and while I am no longer in love with her (the ex that is) , I am in a "relationship" of a sort with her, at least until my child turns 18. And really, for the rest of my life, I'll be involved with my ex to some degree, from graduation, to wedding to babies, my life will continue to connect with my ex's. Big time for the next 12 years minimum.
Okay, so that's not necessarily what I would choose. But that choice was made a long time ago, and right now, there is no choice about it. We're connected.
And I used to feel like you do, until I found out that when I acted and spoke courteously toward my ex, regardless of how she acted toward me, well, pretty soon she started behaving considerately toward me as well.
Today, she and I have a good system going. But it took work to get there. Now, we look for ways to switch weekends so that she gets more time on Mother's Day and I do on Father's day, and sometimes it's not "fair" to me, other times it's not "fair" to my ex, but it is always better for my kid.
I am releived that I worked out something with my ex, especially when I see other parents who won't let the other parent have so much as an extra 30 minutes and they argue about everything... Co-operating parents are so much better for the child.
I hope this long post helps you.
Sometimes there are no perfect solutions.
Sometimes every choice seems not good.
It's not always easy, but it is worth it. Good luck...
2006-06-18 23:17:06 · answer #3 · answered by norcalirish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her back to court and get primary custody of your daughter. She can have her every other weekend, and half the day on holidays. Your daughters education is important, and the judge should rule in your favor, just keep a log of all the days of school she has missed and wether or not she went to the doctor for the illness. I don't believe it is healthy for a child to go back and fourth from week to week between parents, I think it is stressful on them. My nephews do this and they have behavior problems because of it. It confuses them.
2006-06-18 23:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by tricksy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this , but you might want to get HRS involved. If what you are saying is true, this is not good for the child. The child may have problems coping and may need help also.
This can lead to a serious problem.
Divorce is hardest on the children. She should not be talking bad about you to the child, as you are her father and I hope you are not bad mouthing the mother in front of your child.
You might want to talk to the school since you have shared custody and ask their views.
I hope you can get this resolved.
2006-06-18 23:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by cheeky chic 379 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say one thing to you, take what you said here to CPS and have her checked out! That is way too much school to miss if you look at it like this, a marking period is only 45 days long. 9 weeks X 5 days. Now to miss 19 of 45 days? See what is going on. Maybe you need more custody of your daughter!
2006-06-19 00:48:18 · answer #6 · answered by mom_of_4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she cares much for your daughter, she's just using her against you, she probably doesn't want her, but fights for her just so that you can't have her. Get copies of her records in school showing how much she misses and take them to court, that's gonna cause her to fail the school year and that's not cool, she needs to get a clue. Kudos to you for being such a good dad and caring unlike most men.
2006-06-19 16:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by Gabby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would honestly go to court and try to get custody of her. if she misses to much school the police will get invovled and so will cps. i know our schools here are very very strict. she is on a power trip and using your daughter as leverage. you need to take her back to court and get this matter fixed. the one that is getting hurt is your child. custodial mothers tend to use their kids against their exs just because they can and its not right because the kids suffer not the parents. alot parents sdont see that but the kids suffer badly. good luck to you and i wish you the best
2006-06-19 10:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by pregojess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you have said, i think that you are doing whats best for your child! Good on you!
I wish my babies daddy would care as much as what you do.
I think you should keep up to good work, and keep up the fight. Get people to write letters of recommendation for the courts to see, on how much of a good father you are you your child.
Or even get family members or friends to stand up in court to help you fight for what you deserve.
Go to the school, get a copy of her absent days, and he school records, and show the courts the lack of attendance because her mother is too lazy to get her off to school of a morning.
All these little things should go in your favour.
It's time to fight dirty!
GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-18 23:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a verry good dad keep up the good work. My dad got custody of me and my brother because of similar problems make sure the judge hears you hire a good lawyer and get the evidence that you need she can get arrested because of the new truency laws she better get that child to school.
2006-06-19 01:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the courts need to give custody of the child to you. Doesn't sound like mom is doing her part ...Do something quick before they take her away from both of you....Goto DEFACS and tell them that you want the child with you and tell them about how she misses school .....Stand up for your rights
2006-06-19 03:06:56 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋