What is the best way to approach him about this? Do you think this is a joke by one of his older friends or is he really sexually active???
2006-06-18 16:03:50 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
He has a condom to impress his friends. He probably bought it on a dare and it means nothing regarding a 9 year old having sex.
It is an opportunity for you to discuss things with him. Take the opportunity to tell him your values. How do you feel about pre-marital sex? How old should a person be the first time, etc. Decide how you feel and talk to him about it. You may tell him you think he should be 40 years old if you feel that way, but say that is a little exaggerated and go on and tell him your true honest values about the subject.
He may not look like he's listening and may not want to discuss it, but tell him he has possession of an adult item and he needs to listen to an adult converstation about it and go on. He'll know what you said and remember it later in life when it is important for him to know.
He will decide what to do with the information, but it's important to his development that he knows your feelings on the subject.
2006-06-18 16:04:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 9 years old, he is still a child, I don't think that it is a matter of how to approach him, as a parent you have to approach him and be the adult in a situation like this. It may be a joke, but maybe it's time to sit him down and have a talk about condoms and so on, if he is hanging out with older boys then he'll prob be introduced to it at a young age. Sit him down and talk to him about what you found...see what his reaction is. It could simply be that his friend said "men always carry them around just in case" or..he's having sex...you won't know until you talk to him. Fear not...sit him down and have a chat.
2006-06-18 16:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears to me,that children of this generation are more into experiencing sex,then experimenting with school books. If this is a joke,that someone pulled on your son,then it's not funny. If someone gave him a condom,then your son has been dicussing sex,with someone other than you. As far as him being sexually active, Don't even worry about it! He has'nt even had a "wet dream". All in all, it's time to talk to him about sex,and other things like smoking,etc. He should be hanging out with kids his own age anyway. It's the older more experienced kids,who will teach him about the "streets". Don't let them get to him,before you do,Because he will surely be lost.
2006-06-18 16:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 9 boys don't have anything!but if he is sexually active be calm with him,talk to him about sex, and don't tell him that you found it in his wallet because he will not trust you and he will hide things from you!make up a lie if he opens up to you and say oh yeah when i was your age i was doing it but i used condoms, and see if he comes clean!Make it fun, but serious at the same time!
2006-06-18 16:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by blondi_15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where did he get the condom? If he is sexually active, I'd be surprised, because everyone knows that people don't become sexually active until 10...j/k.
2006-06-18 16:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joke about how something must have sunk in... he is probably not active, but is being strongly influenced by his friends.
But, now it is right in your face that it is time to talk.
I have a 16 yr old now.. I am hating that part... but I am ssssooo happy now we took the time to talk and I was honest.
The truth is, if he is going to do it he will brag to his buddies, and you don't want all he knows to be from them.
The best thing I ever said to my son was... Your buddies will say.. oh yeah, go get a piece of that.... they will not finish the sentence... that girls going to give you herpes, Aids, warts, a baby.... whatever....
be honest with yourself, you know in your heart of hearts if he is doing IT, you are happy he is taking precautions, even if you hate that he is partaking.
2006-06-18 16:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by celtic_goddess222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hope that he is not sexually active at 9...however, I would definitely sit him down and explain that sex is not a joke and the importance of protection.
2006-06-18 16:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why are you going through your son's wallet?
Second, admit what you were doing, and simply tell him you want to talk about it. Don't assume anything. Simply ask him to explain it to you.
Third, if you want to teach your children about respecting the privacy of others, you had better start setting a better example. How would you feel if he asked you about things he found in your purse, or your bureau drawers?
2006-06-18 16:10:12 · answer #8 · answered by zen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 9 I hardly think that he would be capable of having sex, but well you never know. I would ask him out right you will know if hes lying or not, ask him in a calm manner or he will straight out panic, kids at that age havent learnt the art of lying well yet. I sure know when my kids are lying to me. Might be time for you to have the birds and the bees talk if you havent already.
2006-06-18 16:08:50 · answer #9 · answered by Beetlejuice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he's sexually active. He probably just thinks it's "cool" and makes him feel older. Just ask him about it. Don't overreact. Tell him that you are proud he is thinking about being careful and teach him about condoms. It's NEVER too young to teach kids about birth control and disease prevention!
2006-06-18 16:07:00 · answer #10 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋