her earliest memory is as a toddler and it kept happening until she was 21. Her father was the abuser and she finally pressed charges. The officers told her if he pleads guilty that he might not get jail time, because he will be looked at as taking responsiblity and not putting her through the agony of a trial, and also he is considered a first time offender. She is so depressed, she can't work, sleep, she's nervous that he might come after her because he was released until his court date on Aug 15th. She has a husband and a child so she has to get back to her old self not ONLY for them.... but for herself. Could someone please give me some advice... She needs to get her life back.
Also the reason this has hit her so late in life is because she found out after not seeing him in 9 yrs that he was seeing a lady with a young daughter. It really took a tole on her, wondering what that little girl was going through every night.... the mom didn't believe her when contacted
2006-06-18 15:54:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
She needs a good attorney to help her. Those are not always easy to find. She needs support, some friends and family to go with her to court, etc. Usually abusers like that are repeats, find out if he has abused anyone else. If that woman he was seeing had a daughter, I will lay good money out that he has molested her too. That is why he went after the mother...to get to the daughter. That is a typical m.o. of these perverts.
Just because he is "a first timer" does not mean he should get off. She gets one life, no pardons for a new one. That needs to be stressed. Pressure should be put on the judge by public out cry. Bring it to the media, T.V. whatever if necessary if he gets off easy. You can find out how a judge has voted in cases previous to this, make sure that his attorney isn't call all the shots.
She must get counseling by someone NOW (a female) who is experienced in counseling women of abuse such as this, she needs to do that above everything else. The good she did in bringing him this far is fantastic, she needs to know how brave she is for doing that.
By going to a good counselor, she can talk out what she has been through and going through now with this case. It takes the stress off her mind and she verbalizes it. The counselor is also a support to her, reassuring her.
2006-06-18 16:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Check the Darkness to Light website. They may have the answer.
There used to be a great site called Healing Hopes. But it disappeared one day... which took many of us by surprise. My ex is a dissociative identity disorder because of his abuse. We moved from one end of the country to another so he could feel safe and continue with therapy. A friend I met when I used to correspond on healing hopes, may know of a support group that's active now. I can ask her. It may take a day or two for her to write back.
The hard part is the legal stuff- stopping him from abusing others and getting him off the streets. For that, I'm sorry, I'm at a complete loss. Again, check Darkness to Light. Maybe someone there knows.
2006-06-18 16:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by niteowl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, she needs treatment for it. It can be treated with good results. Also find a sexual abuse self-help group and share this trauma with other women who have been through the same thing,that also helps. I am a survivor. Or go to a counselor. If he is convicted he will be put on the sexual offender list and have to register. Most times people don't want to believe this could happen to a child. You are not alone, seek help to deal with this. It will get better!! Good Luck and Peace.
2006-06-18 16:02:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs a psychiatrist and or psychologist. She should take solace in the fact that if he DOES plead guilty, he will have to register as a sex offender. If he does that and this woman stays with him (with a young daughter) - she should contact Child Protective Services.
2006-06-18 15:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by nwtobe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to see a psychologist. There are support groups for this also It's very important that she get on the right track now. Just because it hurt her as a child, it doesn't have to continue. There are ways of getting over it.
2006-06-18 16:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by lighthouse_halo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a help group called "Safeline". It is for adult survivors of childhood abuse. They have a freephone number. 0808 800 5005. Your friend may also be comforted by reading the Dave Peltzer books. I did and it made the horrific abuse i went through as a child insignificant. In doing so i was able to move one step ahead in my life. My mum also dibelieved me and that hurt more than the abuse itself. Safeline is great. Get her to call them.
2006-06-18 16:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to get therapy. this is something she shouldn't have to deal with on her own and having someone who has an objective point of view to talk to can really help.
2006-06-18 15:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by anniee233 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to talk to a doctor or a therapist or both. SOON!
2006-06-18 16:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋