What does it mean when???

Question

I am so inlove with my man. I thought everything was going great. I would tell him how much I loved him and he would do the same for me. He would want to be with me all the time but all of a sudden he changed. He almost left me because he said I came on to strong. So now I try not to think about him or email him or tell him goodnight or anything. I try not to call him or text him throughout the day or tell him how I feel. All the love I have for him, I have been keeping to myself because Im scared I will come on too strong again. It hurt so bad I would cry everynight and feel like a total failure because I don't feel wanted or needed by him anymore. After like a week of all that crying, I just don't feel anything anymore. What does that mean? I don't want to laugh, cry, eat, or even sleep. I just want to stare at a blank wall. He came over today and I want to beg him not to leave but I can't. when he left, I just went to not feeling anything. What's wrong with me?

Answer 1

You've made him the center of your life and he's not ready to be that important. Guys tend to make excuses for why they begin to pull away so that they don't look bad. Unfortunately, they often don't care that they're making you feel like you're the one doing something wrong. It's immature and pretty cruel. If you were doing the same things he was, then perhaps HE was the one who realized he was moving too fast - not you. It was just more convenient to blame you. (Girls do it too btw).

Move on. If that's what he's doing - he's set the example. He will always make you the reason for any problems that arise.

Answer 2

Ain't nothing wrong with you young lady. Your relationship just went through a phase that can be described as "falling out of love".
That doesn't mean that the love stopped. It just means that the initial passions have passed, and your boyfriend's calling out for air. He just needs time to get a breath of air. That's all. Now, I'm not telling you that he's still going to want to have a relationship with you since you haven't said anything about how old ya'll are, how the relationship got started, how long it's been going on or any of the very important dynamics involved in ya'll being together, but, assuming all that is healthy, and I know that's a risky assumption a lot of the time, all relationships go through phases where each person, maybe at different times, call out "help" or "halt" or "wait a minute" and what they are wanting /needing to do is stop and look around at what's going on in their lives, most particularly in their most intense relationship, and make a decision or decisions about whether to continue in this relationship or change it somehow or intensify it. I don't know how old you are so I'm not sure that the book I'm going to recommend to you is best, simply because I don't know you're level of education, but, if you can get a copy of the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, M.D., written back in 1978, and read the second section of the book entitled "Love", you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. That book was on the New York Times Best-Seller list longer than any other book in its history at that time. I have read and studied it numerous times and recommended it to many, and if you read it, you'll get some fantastic stuff from it. You only have to read the second section unless you become curious to read the rest. Maybe you can still find it in a local bookstore or maybe your local public library has a copy of it. I know I bought several copies for my local library because they had a limited budget and I thought so much of this book. But, don't panic about your relationship or your self worth. Your boyfriend is just coming up for a breath of air after some time of being in an intense relationship with you. Let him breathe. If you don't, he'll be choking psychologically and have to fight you all the harder for the "fresh air". All relationships need that breathing space, so don't worry. I can't guarantee you that he's not seeing someone else on the side, but I am telling you that, barring any such extra-curricular activities such as that, he just needs some psychological air. You'll need it to sometime, so let him breathe, don't worry about your self worth. You're as great as they come, I'm sure, and so show your greatness by letting him breathe a second. God Bless you.

Answer 3

When the pain becomes too much it's easier to just feel nothing.

You can't change him, just yourself. Make yourself go on with your life- do the things you would be doing if he'd never come into it. Likely he got scared- afraid of his feelings, afraid of committment. Who knows? He probably doesn't even know. When he's figured it out, he may very well be back. But don't hold your breath. Do whatever it takes to go on meanwhile. If you can't make yourself go on, you may eventually seek counseling or even anti-depressants because you do sound like you have some "situational" depression. This can lead to clinical depression, if you don't do something about it now.

Answer 4

My friend is going through the exact same thing. Women tend to feel more "attached" and moved in relationships, where men can tend to be pulled in by the physical aspects of it. My friend sees love, but he doesn't want to call it that yet. I think most men are just ******* that need to grow out of their fear of becoming attached to people. If this guy is growing tired of you for being "too needy", then you need to see that he's not going to change his attitude unless you back off or leave him. Guys usually don't see what they've got until it's gone.

Good luck - and don't forget that there is ALWAYS someone better out there if one man isn't doing it for you. Your tears will pass, all ya need is time!

Answer 5

Don't worry, your reaction is normal. It sounds like he either has a new girl or he doesn't want to be with you. And to some extent you probably know that. That may be a good thing for you. There are guys out there that will treat you better. THE QUICKEST WAY TO LOSE A GUY IS TO TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM. Guys want a girl who is fun, intelligent, and confident. When girls tell the guy how they feel or about their "problems" all the time, most guys don't like that. It's best to talk to other girls about problems and to the guy about the good things. Hope this helps.....

Answer 6

It means your depressed and you need some self esteem. Your letting how you feel about yourself depend on what someone else does or thinks. How does his fear of commitment translate into your failure??? It doesn't. Give him some space and be happy and do your own thing. He will probably come running when he sees how happy you are. No one wants to be around a depressed clingy person. Get your own life. Good Luck and Peace.

Answer 7

i thought my world ended when i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. i also went to a phase of denial and anger. but i picked up the pieces, got a new haircut, bought a new set of clothes and enrolled in graduate school to take my mind off him. do something productive, something you havent yet done but have been dreaming to do like go to france, go mountain climbing, buy a pet or get a new hobby. go out with friends for a nice dinner and movie. make sure no couples so you woudn't reminisce. it takes a good outlook in life to bounce back. pamper yourself go to a spa and indulge. love yourself girl. you dont have to take medications to get out of depression. it only takes your decision to get out there and enjoy life. it had been 6 years since the break up and i am much stronger, more independent, feeling and lookin better with a master's degree to boot. YOU CAN DO THAT TOO GIRL! SHOW HIM YOU ARE MADE OF HARDER STUFF THAN THAT.

Answer 8

This is like beating a dead horse. You have some major issues and you only like hearing the answers YOU want to hear. Keep living like this and you will have a miserable life.

Answer 9

you need to take some serious "me" time and do not think about anyone but yourself--the love that your boyfriend does not want--give it to yourself--just try it--trust me--because you need and deserve love too--sometimes you have to give yourself what you cant get from someone else

Answer 10

its sounds like you are going through a shocked phase. hey its better then feeling all those horrible emotions