my 5 year old is lying all the time?

Question

ok i have a 5 year that is always making up stories and telling lies, i have tried to put him time out, have taken things from him, have talked to him to tell him how bad it is to lie and ignored it but he wont stop, he is always doing it so that he can be involved in grown ups conversations, he is always making up stuff so that he can say he has done the same things that the adults around him have done so that they will include him in what they are doing, it has gotten so bad that i have proven him wrong and all he does is cry because i dont believe him but when he does that his father believes him and it just makes it worse i have proven to his father he is lying but he says he feels bad for hurting is feelings and gives into him, what can i do to stop him?

how can i teach him not to lie if i allow him to continue to make up stories?

Answer 1

At this age, children are just beginning to develop imaginative play and story telling. While it is not acceptable for a 5 year old to tell fibs and lies, it is also important to allow your child to stretch his "imaginative legs" so to speak. Allow a certain time, such as bedtime story-time, for him to direct the bedtime story- steering it in his own direction and allowing for him to create the story line. Start with a one-liner like "Once upon a time, there was a pirate named...." Allow him to come up with the rest of the story and act thrilled when he creates bigger and more fantastic situations for his "pirate". If he is allowed a certain time that his imaginative horizons are expanded, he will be less likely to tell tall-tales when it comes time for the "important stuff." Teach him that while stories are good and fun for entertainment, there are times when make-believe is NOT ok. Show him instances by example. This is very important- if he sees his parents telling tall-tales and little white lies, he feels that it is acceptable. (i.e.- a bill collector calls and you say "we are just leaving the house, I can't talk right now" and you are really not going anywhere.) These little things are VERY often picked up by young and impressionable children. So, model by example. Choose stories of your own childhood where it was important that you told the truth. Share these stories with your son and tell him how you could have made up a story, but you chose to tell the truth, and the consequences/rewards of doing what you did. Also, share stories of when you DID tell a fib- what happened, how were you punished, what did grandma/grandpa do to you? It is a BIG thing for them to relate a circumstance to thier own world, not just a generic story. So, personalize thier lesson- tell them about one of the two most important people in thier lives- MOM AND DAD :) Trust me, they might not seem to listen, but they do absorb what you tell them.

Answer 2

I think this is fairly normal. And I think it's kind of a waste to prove a five year old wrong. Children say crazy things all the time, who cares they are children. I'm pretty sure this is called "imagination" u know that place where santa and the tooth fairy live.

If it bothers you that much that he is getting attention when there are people there your age that you want to have adult time with (and by all means I understand this) then make this the point that you teach him. Tell him that it is mommies time to sit and talk with the adults and send him out of the room or off to play with the other kids. Most of the time what the adults are talking about little kids don't need to be a part of. And in other situations where say people like relatives are engaging him in a conversation and he does it help him tell the story the right way. Nobody wins and u probably look like an *** when you berate him to the point that he cries. Do you really think your friends and relatives are so dumb to think he has done everything he claims?

Answer 3

When you catch her in a lie, then confront her with it, PROVE to her she is lying and then take her to her room, wear her butt out good! Tell her she is grounded the rest of the day. After she cools down some, tell her you are sorry you HAVE to do that, but from now on this is what she will get, BUT you will go easier on her IF she tells the truth, next time it WILL be worse for her. Take the same approach with her temper, let her know tantrums will not be tolerated.She sounds like she has gotten her way and was queen bee too long.

Answer 4

My daughter does the same thing. She will be 5 July 18th. I just don't think she fully understands what a lie is. Some kids do and some don't. Instead of punishing him try explaining to him the difference. Good luck!

Answer 5

my daughter is the same age and I'm getting the same thing. must be the age she started right after she began pre-K. Last week I asked her how she got a hole in her shirt, clearly cut with a scissor, and she told me she was attacked by a woodpecker, not thrilled with the lying but that one got me. I time out depending on the severity of the lie, if it's just active imagination let it go he'll outgrow it.

Answer 6

Eh, it's not that big a deal. Kids do weird things. It could be an attention thing. Embarrassing him by calling him on his lies, especially in front of other people, might be making it worse. Just try pretending right along with him.

Answer 7

I was dat 5 year old girl
I did exactly dat
eventhough I have 68 cousins
I wanted to hang out with the adults
my aunts and uncles
they were smarter than my cousins
older and wiser
I was too hungry for knowledge
my mom was too busy with her life
she had no time to teach me
I was smarter than her , she made me out of her belly
then one day my mom stopped everything
and looked at me
asked me
if I really wanted to learn
and I said yes
she even paid for My University Degree
but I had to just do it
and prove to her I could do it
I love my mom
by
Lapis Lazuli
today is my birthday

Answer 8

i too am going through this with my daughter. She never did this until she started hanging around some other kids in the neighborhood. i have curbed it a little but not by much. what i have done is told my daughter the chicken little story . she likes to interupt adults too.....i often put her on a time out for her age in minutes and have her do a chore. As for her daddy....he's a softy i have given up with him.

Answer 9

To be honest with you If i were you i would seriously take him to the doctors and get him checked up . Im young under 19 and If i was a parent and my child was lying,crying I would first take him to the doctor just to get him checked and then if he still continues, I would get a alot more angry at him. Just DONT SLAP HIM lol

Answer 10

Mine just turned five and he was doing the lying thing. It was so bad that he was telling his teachers things that made them call cps on me. I finally got tired of everyone thinking that me and my fiance were beating our children. So one day he told me something that got me really upset. I dont know if it was the right thing to do but it worked. I told him that if he kept lying about me and my fiance being mean to him that they were going to take him away to live with someone else. Of coure he said he wanted to live with grandma but I told him he couldnt pick where he would go. They would take him away from all of his family and friends and he would live with someone he didnt know. He told me that was fine and he didnt want to live with me anymore. So I picked up the phone and started dialing, by this time my son is screaming at me wanting to know who I was calling. I told him I was calling someone to pick him up to go live with his new family. He begged me and begged me to hang up the phone. I had really just called grandma and she was listening on the other end. When he calmed down my mother also explained it to him and that SHE would take him to live with some "strangers" if he didnt stop lying for mommy. Ever since then he hasnt lied about being "abused" by me and my fiance. All of the other big lies stopped too. Now he just blames his accidents on his younger brother but thats normal. The serious lying was stopped by scaring the crap out of him. I felt bad but it worked.