my nieces are staying the weekend with my wife and I. they are 12 , 9 and 5. this morning I was changing my sons diaper and the 9 year old grabbed her little sister covered her eyes and escorted her to the bedroom where she locked the door.is this a Phase or is she acting out of terror from being violated. I dont know little girls or abused people for that matter and just dont know what to think.
2006-06-18 15:01:50 · 21 answers · asked by michael N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
thank you all for your input. this Q and A place is just awesome
2006-06-18 15:20:04 · update #1
From experiencing my own children being molested before I can tell you that is not the tell tale sign. Infact there would be more withdrawl and acting out. She obviously knows a boundary...which is something that is torn down when violated. She seems to know that looking at a boys penis is not ok. That is good. She is obviously looking out for her little sister. That shows forthought and that she is not defensive. Now....since she is so young and maybe 'over reacted' a bit I would kindly talk to her a bit and ask her why she did that. Someone had to have discussed something about boundaries in the past. Maybe you feel different about the issue, but I would not try to force them to be tolerant of looking at boy penis even a baby or toddler at that age. If in your talk you find out other things that are 'disturbing' I would stop and go get a special councelor in sex/children issues. Get some good advise on how to go about it with your children. They all act different and are all individual. There is no one right answer for everyone.
2006-06-18 15:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by m0mmatcat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't know. I agree with you though, it is kind of odd that she would do that.... Does she do this often? I would try and talk to her as gently as possible. Maybe, she just knows the difference between little girls and little boys and was embarrassed. With the world the way it is right now, it's hard to tell what is going on in the minds of children. They are aware of so much more than we were as kids.
2006-06-18 15:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by BlueAngel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them, sometime when you are relaxed and doing something else, say, watching t.v., ask the older child, if she was bothered by seeing the infant naked and why. Watch her body language, tense? Scared? If she seems at all bothered even by the questioning, have her checked by a doctor. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Also, talk to the 5 year old, she might just tell you all you want to know.
2006-06-18 15:06:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 16 year old cousin does it. I have a 4 year old, and when my cousin is there (male) and I am getting my son ready for the bath or something, he covers his eyes and stuff. I think it's kids being kids. If thats all, I wouldn't worry about it especially if they are all girls and the only penis in there house is their dad's. I am sure if they falter on his nakedness and he quick covers or gets embarassed himself.
2006-06-19 08:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by carlyanne0425 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like it, it just sound like the 9 year old knows the 5 year old doesn't need to be in there at that time and did what she thought best.
2006-06-18 15:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by william g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe the little girl was doing what she saw meaning maybe her parents cover their eyes when their is something on TV they dont want them to see but you can never be to sure.. I would maybe have your wife talk to the oldest one if it looks serious she may feel comfortable talking to another female then a male
2006-06-18 15:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by Candace B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just Paranoid. What would automatically make you go there That is such a leap to think just because she covered her sisters eyes that she was violated. I don't get the connection. I think you're a freak. Did you violate her?
2006-06-18 15:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by heidinichole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That might just be their way of dealing with other peoples body.. Some parents teach their kids to cover their eyes and not to watch ect... other cases it could mean abuse but then tahts something that nmeeds to be brought up with their parents..
You should ask their parents if what you did is ok, normally there is nothing wrong with that you were just changing your child which is a normal daily process.
good luck
2006-06-18 15:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by BrunettesRbetter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have just been embarrassed. That is the age when a lot of parents really begin to focus on teaching modesty to a developing child. She might have just been giving your son the privacy that she thought he should have.
2006-06-18 15:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i try to teach my lil girls that we dont change our clothes or run around the house naked when company espically boys are around. and i try to teach them that nobody should touch them in certin places unless it is me or somebody helping to clean up (we still have certin messes that need attending to). i have never had problems with them being around while a lil baby boy is getting his diaper change but you dont know what they are learning, you may want to try n ask them questions but be careful how you ask. you dont want to put the idea into their head or if you ask them if ppl touch them most likley you are going to get the answer yes. we are all touched everyday. if you are this concerned tell their parents about the situation and inquire as to if that is a normal reaction for them.
2006-06-18 15:10:26 · answer #10 · answered by mommaslosthermind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋