my father, answer to boyfriend..?

Question

WEll me and my boyfriend had a discussion.

We were talking about my father. Here's the story behind my father..

He was an alcoholic, my mother divorced him, father was taken drugs and alcohol and kidnapped my mother, and almost killed her. He wen't to jail for awhile. He found Christ, and he wrote to us everyday. He told my mother how his Alcohol, Drug, and Sex addiction was sin, and he repented. And that he loves my mother very much. and he wrote to us, telling us, he misses us, and wishes he could have been a better father. My father got out, went to rehab, and went back to his sick family. They took him away from Christ. My father doesn't even call us nemore, nor did he show love, he only bought things.

My boyfriend says i have to forgive. Yes i have, but then my boyfriend said i have to love my father. Yes i love my father. Then my boyfriend said to call him, and realize that he thinks we hate him. <--okay? well, i've made many fone calls telling him i love him

I told my Boyfriend that being around Bad, can influence you to turn bad, thats what satan
does. Just like how my father turned away from Christ. My boyfriend said not always,
sometimes people dont get influenced. That's true, but only if one has Christ, and is
a true believer. What else could i say to him?

And what's your opinion on my boyfriend's opinion? Do you think
im wrong, or do you think Satan deserves another chance?

Thank you very much.

Answer 1

As a Christian Pastor I must say that you have to forgive your father not for him but to rid yourself of those things.
If you feel that you have done everything that you need to do, and it sounds to me like you have, then you need to tell your boyfriend that's it, I'm done.
You are correct that a person can get sucked back into a life they have broken away from as illustrated by your father.
If this problem continues with your boy friend perhaps it's time for him to leave.

Answer 2

I'm not sure I understand the whole situation here, but Satan NEVER deserves even one chance! Satan is pure evil, the Bible calls him the father of lies. Don't give into Satan's temptations. As for your father I'm sorry he did all those things and had to pay the punishment for them, but maybe calling him and just saying, "I love you a lot and I forgive you for all the stuff you have done...etc" Just get to know him well again and then maybe you can invite him to church or something or if you don't go to church go together and you can grow in faith in Jesus the He will take care of you and know that He will forgive your father the very second that he asks Him to. God's will be done in this hard time for you.

Answer 3

I am awfully glad you two had a discussion. That shows maturity on both your parts---more so than many couples those days. :-)

Both of you made excellent points. I agree that being around bad influences can be influencing upon my behavior. I also agree with your BF that if one is strong in their Path (regardless what it is), then the bad influences does not have "power" over me.

I am sorry to hear about your father. I am adopted, and found out from my paternal half-brother that my birth father is similar--alcoholic and drug addict. He does not care much for his son, and does not want to meet me. I have forgiven that long ago, and am more free to live my life. You gave the effort on telling Dad that you love him. Now it is up to him to pick up the ball or not. If he does not pick up the ball you gave him, just forgive him in your heart and try your hardest to move on with your life. :-)

I still go by the hope that my birth dad will want to meet me someday. Meanwhile I don't worry about that and live my life.

Answer 4

Wash your hands. Put mud in one hand. Rub both hands together. Are they both clean?

Unfortunately, the bad in this world has a stronger influence through peer pressure and familial ties. Your boyfriend might be right if family or friends weren't involved, but we all have a tendency to compromise our values for our friends and family.

The Pastor is right, you must forgive your father and love him. This does not mean that you have to hang out with him all of the time.

Answer 5

As christians we all fall one time or another and we rise up again. god works in mysterious ways so he gets other people to pray for the weak so that they can become strong again. Yes, love him, he is you dad and prayer is the answer. He still loves you but because of him falling he's just too embarassed to say I'm sorry. I know deep in his heart he is sorry for what he has done. so do pray for him and/or let go and let God take over. Ask God to do this for you. You won't be disappointed.

Answer 6

okay, first off don't call Oprah, and don't write dear Abbey. Neither one of these women are true Christians (as this is obvious by what they write and say). What you need to do is pray. I wish I could sincerely help you, but I don't know all the details. What I will do though, is pray.

Answer 7

I don't understand ur whole question but I'm sorry to hear about ur Dad. I dunno I'm not a Christian and I spend my time round some bad people sometimes. I don't like spending my time round them but I certainly don't get influenced by them. I think people can be strong enough not be influenced what ever religion or none religion u are. I can't really explain what happened to ur Dad sounds like he has lots of issues. Do u mean does ur Dad deserve another chance? I really dunno I guess that's up to u. If u feel he is telling the truth that he is sorry and sounds genuine then maybe I dunno.

Answer 8

Make it clear to your boyfriend that you have tried to contact your father and explain the results. I do believe that if your dad has returned to his old ways, you, as a Christian, shouldn't associate with him unless he changes. As far as communication goes, Just make sure that your dad knows that you love him. But the best thing you can do for him would be to pray for him.

Answer 9

You are very religious. Speaking more non-religiously, I would let him live his life as long as you are happy with your life. You can forgive him and you can love him, but you don't have to be a part of his life if you don't choose to. Good luck.

Answer 10

I think that bad situations do not always lead to bad outcomes, but I do think that putting yourself in a bad situation to test that is a horrible idea.