Can anybody help me! I don't like my daughter on Myspace. I trust her.but how do I protect her from freaks?

Question

I've already blocked the site..after seeing it on the news for the 3rd time. Now she thinks I don't trust her.. Can I let her use Myspace and still make sure she's not talking to the wrong people? Am I just being an over-protective parent or do I have a legitimate concern?

Answer 1

Tell her about Internet Stalking, and that girls, especially underage girls, are BIG targets. Then let her sign on using an alias, have her create a completely false identity. Then have her promise that she will never give out any personal information that might let people find her. Tell her the only people who should know her true identity are those that she and YOU know. Then make her give you her password and actually check to see what she posts on-line. If she won't agree, then tell her you are not being cruel, you are trying to protect her. Tell her MySpace is not a place to find a date if she does find a date then more often than not it is a predator who will hurt her. If she still doesn't agree then tell her she can't go onto MySpace.

It is better to get her to agree to do it on your terms, or else she might go to a friends house and open an account that you will never know about.

MySpace can be good, for example she can talk to her friends, and if you have Broadband or DSL she won't tie up a phone line. Tell her that you want to trust her, but she has to earn it first--she has to abide to your rules. If she does so then she can stay on MySpace.

Answer 2

From looking @ your info it sounds like this is your 15 year old. if that is in fact true than the hard fact of it is that EVERYONE she knows is probably on myspace. Although you do have legitimate concern because ANYTHING a 15 year old does online as far as email, chat rooms, all that stuff is dangerous because of the amount of pedophiles in the world today. My best advice would be to let her use the service but make her use the option where a person has to be a friend already to view her profile and also the option where they have to know her last name or email address to send a friend request in the first place (she doesn't have to put shes 14 for either of these cuz she will probably have a problem with that too.) This way she will be more likely to only have people she actually knows on there. If you don't show her some trust she will just rebel in some other way that's probably way worse than myspace.

Answer 3

You have to think about this realistically. You can't expect or be expected to monitor your daughter's internet activity every second she's online. I don't think blocking the site is at all inappropriate if you as her parent are uncomfortable with what may happen, though it is rare.
I maintain a Myspace account of my own, and I can tell you it's not kid friendly through sheer dint of language alone. There's no pornography, but I've got a dry sense of humor and it's oriented to adults. It happens.
I disagree with the using communal email, but the computer being in a communal place in the house seems fair to me. I despise the idea of using spy software available to parents to see where your children are going, but if you feel it's time for such a drastic (last resort) measure then by all means. However I think encouraging your children to talk about those people talking to them on the internet is a solid and good place to start.
There's also the usual birds and bees conversation. Unfortunantely it's nigh impossible to prevent your daughter from encountering information you don't want her to see online. I think the thing to do would be to sit down and have a god heart to heart with her about it. Let her know that you do trust her, it's the site you don't trust. And regardless of how you feel, or how she feels there is information and people out there you want to keep away from her. It's not only your job as a parent, it's your right as a parent. She should understand. If not, then perhaps more covert measures need to be taken such as the software I mentioned earlier.

Answer 4

Oh you are being a PARENT. But you don't have to protect her that much as long as you know that she has PRIVATE settings on her myspace account I don't see a problem in her logging on. Also you can always limit her time on the computer and occasionally check on her when she is online just to invade on her privacy she just might take it the wrong way. However you do have legitimate concern there are so many people online is just wrong especially for those SICK PEOPLE too, but if you trust her to be online then I'm sure she will do the right thing.

Answer 5

I have a 15 yr old son. The best you can do is give her the mindset of protecting herself. I consider myself over-protective but I can not monitor my sons daily activities 24/7. It's impossible. MSN has made computer life easier for parents though by giving parents the option of what websites you as a parent allow your child to enter. It also emails the parent a list of all on-line activity for the day this means chat rooms, web sites, emails. Give your child her freedom. Put your PC in a open room. Warn her that you can check anything she does on the computer. If she isn't allowed to access these websites at home she will do it at the library, friends house, or even at school. Yes, you do have a legitimate concern but unless you shackle her to your side until she moves out of your home these are concerns that happen in everyday life with predators not just on MySpace. God Bless all our children and their parents.

Answer 6

I don't have kids old enough to have to worry about this site yet but my sister uses it and I DON"T like it. I say get rid of it..Let her know you do trust her just tell her that myspaces is a very bad site. Or keep teh computer where you can always see it password protect it so it can only be used when you want it to there for she can still talk to her friends and you can see what is going on.

Answer 7

I am on Myspace and I have met some pretty cool people but I understand where you are coming from because if my niece was on it I would freak out. I trust my niece but these perverts out there going after teenage girls is crazy!!!!
You are just being a concerned parent but the kids of today don't see it this way.
Well if you tell her no then she will sneak behind your back to use it.
When my mom was alive we were bestfriends. Our relationship worked because she didn't tell me no she explained her side of things and let me make up my own mind. Which I usually saw her side of things.

Answer 8

Your name is all wrong dude. lol. You are a fantastic dad, for wanting to protect your daughter like this! And no, you are NOT over reacting. Just go to the safety tips for parents on the myspace homepage. There are some cool tips there. I have all 3 of my sons on there, and the youngest is 14 1/2, so I know your fears and concerns. My youngest is very watched over by me though, and he has seen me on the comp for several years now, so he knows alot of the pitfalls. He doesn't know it all though, and I am not able to watch over him every second, but I am confident that he is safe.

Answer 9

One great way to protect her from freaks is DEMAND that she change her setting to say she is 14 years old. That way certain people can't look at her profile. If someone she has never seen asks her to be a friend just tell her to decline so that won't have access to her page, but don't just band myspace altogether because we teens find a lot of fun in leaving messgages and posting pics of what we did last night.

Answer 10

if i had a child I would make myspace off limits to her. The only thing it's good for is to meet people. It's a social networking site.

Why do kids need a social networking site? When I was growing up, the only friends I needed were at my school -- MY OWN AGE!

good job