I am 18 years old and 21 weeks pregnent..?

Question

and my boyfriend/baby's father just broke up with me and moved out of state....we were very happy...i dont understand why he did that....he says he loves me just not happy so he want to move to better his self...what do i do?

Answer 1

Maybe family would be a good idea.

Answer 2

Whatever you do DO NOT get an abortion. No matter how hard it is for you and no matter what a dick the dad is, no one needs to die over this, especially a little kid.
18 is old enough to raise a child, a lot of people are married by the time they're your age. If you really need some support go to your parents but if you can't get it from them I'm sure there's a "crisis pregnancy" clinic that'll help you financially and morally.
Good luck and have fun with your sweet little boy or girl. I'm sure you;ll make a great mom.

As for the guy, he probably freaked out about the whole baby thing. If he actually loves you he should marry you and be a good dad to his kid. If he doesn't, he should still help you. Call him and tell him that you need him to be there for you. Be nice, don't yell or threaten him, the last thing a guy wants to deal with is a pshyco, irrational pregnant woman. Try to get him to move back and help you. That's his responsibility to take care of his son or daughter.

Answer 3

WHAT A COWARD!

I'm sorry, but what kind of a MAN leaves his pregnant girlfriend to "better his self." That's ridiculous. This is the time where you need him more than anything, and he ABANDONS YOU? Maybe it's for the best that he left, because if he can't handle the pregnancy what makes you think he'll be able to handle being a father?

Did he say this is temporary? Or is this it?

I understand it's hard for a guy too... he has a million fears and a million questions and society doesn't cater to the fathers-to-be like they do to the mothers-to-be. but come on now... is moving out of state and leaving the mother of his child alone really solving anything? NO! she's just as afraid as he is, and she's the one with the baby inside of her not him!

If he's not going to be there, get child support from him... get support anyway you can. Family, friends, pregnancy counseling centers... etc. Lots of places are willing to help. You can't do this on your own, and you shouldn't have to.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I have zero tolerance for guys who bail out because they're afraid (that's probably what this is).

I don't care what anyone says. Running away from your child and his/her mother is NOT a sign of maturity. It's a sign of a scared little boy who's too afraid to step up and take accountability for his actions.

Answer 4

Assuming that he knows you're pregnant, saying that he wants to "better his self" is a very good sign.
Fatherhood is difficult on a man, in ways that society fails to recognize. Expecting a child brings up all of a man's doubts and fears about his value and his ability to provide for his family, and whether he has what it takes to raise children. During this time man re-evaluates his entire life.
I'm assuming that the pregnancy was unplanned. Admitting that he is not happy and taking action, shows maturity. I think there is hope. Not specifically for your romantic relationship with him; but for your child. Your primary concern is to make sure that your child has a father.
Make sure that he has your contact information if it changes and that he receives updates, etc. Give him the choice of being present whent he child is born. And don't use the child like a weapon. Or, as leverage to get what you want from him.

Answer 5

He's scared. Being a parent is a huge responsibility, and I am assuming your pregnancy was an accident. He may or may not come back once he accepts that he is going to be a father - but time will only tell. Right now, he's running away from it. No one is prepared to be a aprent as a teenager.

You need to care more about yourself and unborn baby than your ex for now. Take good care of yourself, and work on preparing to be a single mother - or consider the option of adoption if you don't feel you are ready either.

Lean on your friends and family for support - get through your pregnancy - and let you relationship with him be dealt with later.

Answer 6

Maybe he's just scared and didn't know how to react to being a dad. Give him time, if he doesn't come back by the time the baby's born move on without him. It's hard, but not impossible and hit him up for that child support....if he wants to be an *** then play by his rules....take all the money you can. Reach to your family for support. We all make the mistake that our parents are going to disown us if they find out, but some parents are so understanding and helpful...don't be afraid confide in them and they will definitley help you through this.

Hang in there girl, I know it's difficult, but when you see your baby, nothing else in the world will matter.

Answer 7

was it that you were blinded by love and thought you and him were happy? there is no reason to justify him moving and leaving you alone to raise a baby, but he's gone so get over it and do what you need to do to prepare for this child. My ex-boyfriend did me the same way and told me the same lie, but he didn't better his self. it has now been three years and he still haven't seen our daughter and still hasn't did anything to improve his life. He hasn't had a job since he moved and his family don't even know about my daughter. He's a man and he is young forget about it move on and look forward to what you are about to face. if you need a friend or just someone to vent to email me [e-mail]

Answer 8

21 weeks, that is 4 months and 1 week, so you're in the second trimester...

well you have some decisions to make with your family. it sounds like you are planning on having the kid and you are almost halfway along so I don't know if you have any other safe options..

are your parents willing to help you>? are you willing to let them?
You shouldn't have to have the kid alone, and maybe if you just keep yourself together and move on but keep in touch the bf will get a clue and come back b/c he misses you.
He's probably just really scared.

I hope this works out for you,

peace out.

Answer 9

Your focus should be on your baby right now. You need to make sure that he pays child support for your child, first of all!

I know this is probably a very rough time for you and I sympathize for your situation. But think about it: A guy that would leave you while you are carrying his child is not worth crying over!

Also, you should try meditation or counseling to help you deal with your emotions. If you are stressed out over this, your baby will be stressed as well. Good luck!

Answer 10

Child Support

Answer 11

I can undersand how bad you feel right now. You were full of happiness and expectations before but all of a sudden, it seems like the whole world turned against you.

In your situation now, it's very clear that your boyfriend is 'afraid' of commitments and that 'he's not ready' to be a father yet. We may not know exactly what pushed him to leave you in one corner all by yourself but that already indicates his lack of maturity and responsibility towards you and his child-to-be.

For him, he has a lot of personal issues to settle. In cases like this, people who are not responsible even in their own individual lives, tend not to be responsible at all with others. I suggest that you move on with your life. As hard as it can be, especially that you are still considered a 'teenaged mom-to-be', reach out to your own family who understands you most. If this is not possible, I advice you to get some help from your community centre which may have programs or resources for young moms like you. Especially that you are on your own, I suggest that you make a plan out of your own life and that of the life of your child-to-be. It may be too soon for you, especially that you have to worry about your first pregnancy. It would be wise for you to plug-in with support groups that deal with single moms like yourself so that you can get started. It will be a hard road for you but don't make it too difficult wherein you have resources already made available.

For the meantime, connect with a trusted girlfriend who can give you the moral and emotional support you need. Somebody who is strong and downright positive about life. You don't need a negative person to pull you down or someone who would just spend her day cursing your boyfriend who left you; what you need is a real 'friend' whom you can lean on.

Above all, pray to God. Make Him your first stop with regards to your situation. Please don't make Him as your last resort. You will be surprised as to how He will answer your prayers, especially if your requests are entirely genuine, sincere and unselfish.

Hope everything will work out fine with you. Have faith. Don't think it's the end of everything. It's not worth your time thinking of your BF who was scared of commitment. Better spend your time and energy towards your future and the future of your baby. Think positively. Your baby will be needing that a lot.