Another one on depression....?

Question

I have been in the grips of depression for a while now, I need some info. Is it wrong to actually feel guilty about being depressed? I know people have it worse then me, so I am almost ashamed to have these feelings. Im my last question I asked about sharing my feelings with those close to me, I am just worried that they will not understand what I am experiencing, and I don't want to burden anybody with my problems. Has anybody else ever been in this situation? How did you deal with it?

I am seeing a therapist, but it seems like I feel worse after my sessions.

I am taking Zoloft too.

Answer 1

I think you feel worse about your depression after going to therapy because your talking and facing your problems. Little by little you will feel better. I too felt guilty about being depressed and my doctor helped me understand that i have nothing to feel guilty about. Many times i have read, on this site, people say things like, think of the starving people in the world or think about if you were homeless. The worse thing you can do is to compare yourself to anyone depressed or not. My doctor explained it to me like this. Say you got into a bad car crash and your arm and leg was broken, would you lay there and say I feel guilty about the pain i am in? or I have no right to complain because someone else in the world feels worse than me? Of course not. If everyone compared their lives to someone they believed had it worse, to make themselves feel better they would never realize they needed to fix what was wrong or bothering them in their life. If someone compared themselves to people they thought were smarter or prettier they would constantly trying to be perfect or reach an image they could never attain.
You have the right to feel the pain you feel. Don't feel ashamed of what you are going through or feel guilty and if anyone can't understand then so be it. You are assuming you will be burdening the people in your life with your problems but you don't know how they are going to react, you never know they might want to help you. In my case the people in my life, when i told them, wanted to be supportive and told me all we want is for you to be happy.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you are talking about, as I have been through much of the same circumstances. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Clinical depression is a medical problem often resulting from a chemical imbalance in the brain (although some ignorant people would argue against this). You need to acknowledge this problem not only to yourself but to those who love you. That is the first step. If you don't talk about it with others, then it will only stay bottled up and will become worse. Consult a caring, down-to-earth doctor who will be able to help you. He may be able to prescribe medication that would help you. But take it from me, don't rely just on the medicine (I learned the hard way), you also have to work very hard to change your thoughts and attitudes about a lot of things. And don't expect the problem to be solved overnight or even in a few months. This is a problem that could take several months to a few years. The best thing is to be patient. Good luck in your recovery!

Answer 3

I don't get people who tell you to see a therapist or take meds when you already said you did. OK, about feeling guilty, we can't help it. It's all that BS we hear about us really not counting our blessings, being lazy, etc... Would a paraplegic be told, oh deal with it, get up and walk? We are legitimately sick. Don't expect others to understand. I mean it is getting better, but you take a chance every time you open up to someone, particularly close ones who will feel expectations that they help you. Give the Zoloft and the therapy some time, about 6 to 8 weeks. Sometimes strating therapy brings up a lot of buried sadness. If it does not get better in a couple of months, first address the meds, and re-examine how helpful and compatible with you your therapist is. You can beat it. Maybe not completely, maybe not without a slip here or there, but you can

Answer 4

I have been there and the only way to really get help is to go to a therapist. No one will think that you are crazy and nowadays, a LOT of people go or have gone to therapy so it's not a big deal anymore. I felt very gulity about breing depressed-thinking how dare I feel that way when there are people worse off than I am ; I have it pretty good so I should not be depressed,etc. Feeling like that is part of depression. Getting help will find the root of your problem and help get it under control. Get help so that you can start living your life.

Answer 5

It's ok. Don't beat yourself up about being depressed or feel guilty. You didn't do it to yourself The best thing you are doing for yourself is talking it out and getting help. I've been there. People who have never suffered from depression don't really understand it.They try to help or they're afraid of it and scoffe it off. They don't really understand the lonelyness, the emptiness, the darkness. I was a trained psychologist and until I suffered depression myself, I didn't understand it as well as I do now. I'm a much better therapist now than I was then. My associates thought I was joking, my family said snap out of it. It is important to talk to someone. Those closest to you may not understand until later. They mean well and want the best for you.

It doesn't matter if someone has been depressed longer than you. Depression hurts. You suffer as well as those around you. They just don't know how to help.

Answer 6

Please don't feel guily or ashamed about this condition. It is not a sign of "weakness of character". Personally, I believe it is more of a biological problem - some people don't produce enough serotonin. It can take up to four weeks for an anti-depressant to begin to work. It may be that Zoloft is not the best choice for you, there are many others to try so keep searching along with your physician until you find the right one at the correct dosage. Best of luck, hope you feel better soon.

Answer 7

I have a problem opening up to people around me, i think they think I'm angry all the time till this workplace now where someone asked if i had bipolar depression, trust me it didn't just come up like that but this person is dealing with that in his girlfriend who is now pregnant, fortunately it seems like the few people i work with right now can see that i have mood swing and they know when i get worse i think some of them know where I'm coming from they would perceive they everyone has problems but i say not everyone comes form the same type of problems if you could find someone with similar you two can compare note like a support group help each other

Answer 8

I don't know what your family is like but I do know that you need at least one person you can trust that you can tell everything to. My husband has social anxiety disorder and I am his person. He knows that I love him no matter what and that I don't want him to kill himself or leave me so I don't have to "deal with him". He has been so much better since he has been able to talk about how he felt. He did not tell me what was up for at least 3 years and I was not able to get him to go to councling for at least another year but since he took councling and Zoloft for a while he is worlds different. He has a job for the first time in 5 years and actully talks to people.

I don't know your situation but I do know that you are on the right track to getting better. Trust someone to listen to you and be there for you. Don't feel guilty that you are depressed just you need support and love just like everyone else does. Your family may not understand what your experiencing but that does not matter. They don't have to understand to care. If they were in your shoes would you think they were burdening you by talking to them about their problems?

Hope im making since. Take care of your self.

Answer 9

Unfortunately Depression is not a good state to be in. Why. because a great deal of problems exist and create a state of depression in you. And I strongly recommend that you start dealing with those problems in making them go away. You may not be able to deal with them alone, but there are a lot of free services out there that are willing to help you cope until your main problems are resolved. And stop worrying about those that are worst off then you are, you just have point it out to them to seek help with some of those free agencies. and get a cure for themselves..

Answer 10

You should not feel guilty depression is a treatable condition like diabetes, i sought the help of a christian counselor and if you need get a prescription for meds from your doctor if you are not christian the seek, regular counseling as for sharing your feeling just try it you can always try keeping a journal too.