Both the kids are engaged in activities aimed at getting your attention, and they have learned that bad behavior works. Here's how they act it out:
Your son is competitive with your daughter and resents her.
Your daughter is pushing contantly to see what she can get away with.
Both the kids need clear limits on behavior, and the certain knowledge that crossing the limits has consequences.
They also need a system of rewards and encouragement for things they do well that make them individually feel valued and important.
They also need occasions set aside for each of them individually - just "mommy and me" time.
Finally, if you can work it out, finding ways that make each of them also like the other and enjoy the other's company would be a HUGE success.
All of this is easy to decribe but hard to put into practice. Creative and effective parenting is a great deal more difficult than just yelling, disciplining and being tough. The discipline itself is necessary but how you do it is the challenging part. Frankly, for the most part, spanking just doesn't achieve the desired result.
Reading is helpful but of course takes time and attention - hard to do when you are a busy mom. About discipline, I suggest Bruno Bettleheim, "A Good Enough Parent." He covers many other thoughtful topics there, too. For a more positive approach to parenting, I suggest you call the local community college and talk to the psychology department for referrals. There are LOTS of groups and programs with plenty of mutual support that do not cost anything except your commitment of time and participation. This is NOT a therapy program but an instructional activity for YOU, and support from others with ideas and even at times a little mutual child-care so mom can have a little time to be herself!
2006-06-18 10:07:57
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answer #1
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answered by Der Lange 5
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2016-10-31 02:26:40
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answer #2
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answered by mcthay 4
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dont panic.......but you might need a little help call the local behavioral center for kids..and have your kids evaluated..in many cases your kids might just need for you to be stronger than they are set up rules and have consequences like time outs and rewards and im going to tell you something that works better than spanking im a mother of three my boys were bad i could not control them and wht happend was that my son he is nine he went to school and told the teacher that i was beating on him with the back of belt buckles just because he didnt do his homework he tought this would get him off the hook,well they called child abuse to investigate and wht they found was that my kids were abusing me LOL........ok but im glad that happend because they offer me help i have this lady come to my house once a week when they get out of line i call her and she have some real good advice....i follow her everyword and now i can control my own boys....i dont hardly need her help.. so maybe you just need someone to teach you to handle them better is all.
but if i were you have them evaluated for a.d.d. get some help dont be scared to take charge they are your children and you can do this. you are not the only one in that situation.....good luck honey.
2006-06-18 09:54:04
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answer #3
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answered by boricua_2290 5
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Discipline them!!! I don't mean beat them but they do all of this stuff because you let them get away with it. My parents did not hesitate to discipline me if I behaved like that. I'm almost 30 and am still very mindful of the language I use in their presence.
2006-06-18 09:46:40
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answer #4
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answered by nina_0923 3
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your the parent what is stopping you from disciplining your children. believe it or not you are the reason they got like this.. contact there schools concelor if they are that out of control use the state as a resource...
2006-06-18 09:49:52
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answer #5
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answered by crazysexycool 1
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discipline is good for children. They like discipline. Use discipline.
2006-06-18 09:55:35
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answer #6
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answered by letmesurpriseu 4
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sit down and talk to them, if they don't listen then tell them that you are not going to take any of it at all, and you will have to go to alternatives, like disiplining them, grounding them, house arrest?
2006-06-18 09:50:25
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answer #7
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answered by trish 2
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