I'm destroyed?

Question

Well what can I say?

I've just been dumped by my girlfriend, apparently for the following reasons...

My music is more important...
Going to europe for too long...
She loves her old boyfriend more...

God I feel so sick, after all the effort I put in to making her happy this is how I'm repayed? I don't understand, her old boyfriend used to batter her and knocked all the confidence out, she told me that I treated her like a princess!!

Why then has she gone back to this guyt?
I don't know who he is, but god help hime if I do!!

What would you recommend I do as I feel so shattered/betrayed

Surely there must be a princess out there that won't betray me!!??

Thanks...

Answer 1

Well...
First, you shouldn't try to compare things too objectively, I mean, sometimes you can explain things rationnally but the heart goes another way...

My sister dumped her boyfriend that she had been having for 2 years, yesterday, and he was a lovely guy who treated her like a Princess.I asked her what was wrong with him, and she said nothing was wrong in particular, she just didn't love him anymore, and that was a reason good enough to break up.
Maybe that's what happened to you, she didn't love you, I know that you must feel offended, and betrayed, but love can be as sweet as crual, depends on what side you are.

Even if in such a situation no one can really understand, the thing is you just have to accept it, and you can't force anyone to love you.All you can keep doing is giving love, attention and care without expecting anything back.

One day you'll do all this and someone will give you back 10 times what you've given her.You'll probably tell her, and she'll say that she feels lucky because you're so careful with her and you give her so much.And you'll know that she's the one you want to wake up with every morning, and it's going to make you so happy :)
All you have to do, is look for her coz she wont' knock at your door.

I would say it's just the luckiest thing not to find your Miss Right easily because when you meet her you know she's a pearl, and you also have learnt from past mistakes and experiences...Don't you think?

Anyway, don't ask yourself too many question as far as your ex girlfriend is concerned, just accept her choices even if it's hard to understand.I wish you all the best for the future! x

PS:Don't feel bad about loving music whatever it is.
PPS:It's GREAT you spent time in Europe, and you've got an amazing experience now I'm sure.I'd love to go to America one day!(I'm just thinking about a possibility: she may be jalous of you after all!!!!)

Answer 2

I have to agree with another post that you are hot. Anyways now to the topic at hand. you invest a lot of time into your music. You are going away for awhile. Forget the other guy. How long have you been together. Well thats not the point. You are going away for awhile and unless you were real serious like marriage minded serious or something then it is ok to be apart for now and find someone new or something I mean not saying that you couldn't be faithful while gone but there are so many other ladies out there and you might want to see what they are like and if you are a loyal man then you wouldn't have the option to do that without feeling bad. Now you can go off and have a good time with no strings attached or anything. Live your life break free from the chains that bind and enjoy your youth. Hope your life works out for you. good luck with your music.If you need someone to chat with contact me.

Answer 3

Oh i'm sooo sorry....

What can we say? Perhaps she did it because she fears that because of your other loves (travel, music) that you would leave her behind some time anyway - so she wanted to get it in first.

But if its just because of this other guy then ... well... some women seem to think that anger and violence is a way of expressing love. If thats the case then it really is her problem - she's nuts to have dumped you!

I recommend that you carry on making plans for your trip and throw yourself into it - now you don't have to feel guilty about leaving her - and think of all the adventures you will have...!

And for your final question - yes! of COURSE there is! you just have to kiss the frogs before the princes... or princesses in this case! Good luck :)

Answer 4

Firstly girls HATE it when they feel like 2nd best. My ex loved football more than me and it didn't do much for my confidence. I don't know why she would go back to an ex that abuses her especially if she claims you treat her like a princess. I would suggest to go to Europe and look for someone else. If things between you are meant to be and you are "fated" to be together then when you come back from Europe, things may start up again with her. But for now, move on from her and see what other things develop. You will get over her in time. Good luck!

Answer 5

When someone gives several reasons for breaking up they are not being straight with you.
She tries to blame the rejection on your behaviour "music more important, europe too long". This is BS. When you love someone you cling on, regardless of whether they have a teddybear collection / walk down the wrong side of the street, blah blah.

The truth is that she chose her ex over you. But she needs to justify this embarassing choice by claiming there was something wrong with you. To most people only a fool would pick someone who beats them over someone who treats them like a princess - so she is trying to minimise her apparant foolishness to the whole world.

However, the key is that this guy knocked all her confidence out of her. Most probably she subconciously
a) needs to make him love her in order to regain that confidence
b) equates the intense emotional pain of being with an abuser with love and consequently feels like something is missing when she is with someone who treats her right.

Either way she needs professional help. If you truly care about her then offer to pay for her to see a counsellor (no strings attached). Deep down she knows that she has a problem but unfortuanately you can not help her with it

Answer 6

oooh see, you didnt take my advice from earlier. my theory is, the girl got all that she wanted, meaning all the guy attention a 'hot' guy can give and yet she knew all along she didnt even have a chance to keep with you since you are off on a long trip. so who remained at the end? she did. so, what did she do? she did all a spoiled bi*ch can do, use the guy, tell him herself that he treats her like a princess and dump him so she at least gets all the bait at the end. she knew very well that even if she stayed with you while you were gone, you would find someone else in europe, knowing herself real well that your not an unattractive guy, so the chances for the poor girl were low. why did she say crap about getting back with her wife beater bf? she just needed a back up to give you a reason why she 'needed' to leave you and on the way making you jealous. so from the girl's point of view, who won the game? she did.

dont worry about it, get on with your life! she just proved to you how inmature she is. youll find the person of your life when you least least expect it, like it happened to me. it never fails!

Answer 7

Maybe she was scared of the commitment you offered. Or just could not stand the fact she was going to be alone whilst you were in europe!

You are going to have to allow yourself time to grieve for this relationship. Plot revenge (but don't act it out) write letters (but don't post them) throw yourself into your music.

My ex used to knock me about and when I first met my husband I was extremely suspicious of why he was treating me like a princess - could not understand it (but that was my issue NOT his) but gradually I got over it and we have a wonderful relationship.

Please do not take her back. After reading some of your previous questions it is obvious how much effort you have put into this relationship.

You will meet someone nice who does appreciate you so don't change your behaviour - I have some very nice single friends that would love to be treated like you treated your girlfriend!

Good luck x x

Answer 8

Don't stress about finding someone else. You're young and need to go out and have fun. Live the way you want to live, and get into your music as much as you want. I was married at 19, and it was close to the biggest mistake of my life. Don't rush into anything. And if she loves someone that hits her, and was out of the relationship only to go back to him, that's her problem. Don't take it out on the guy. Girls like that have problems and can't handle a good guy. I know, I used to be one in her place. I had a great guy who thought I was gold and never even said a single cross word to me. And I left him and ended up back with the guy that hit me. I just didn't know how to handle being pampered. But I'm all better now, and much happier. So, don't blame him or yourself. She has to work out her own life, and you need to live yours to keep you happy.

Answer 9

Don't worry about it. You will find the right girl. A girl who will treat you right and make you happy. I bet its hard for you. But its life and it happens. Just take your time and get to know a girl and get to know her personality. Then you will know if thats the girl that will be your princess. It sucks to get dumped or cheated on or lied to. But it happens to even the guys who are nice and good and will do anything for their girl. It even happens to girls who are nice and caring. Hope you find someone. Have a good day and hope you will feel better. Bye.

Answer 10

she clearly doesn't share your interests. I personally find nothing wrong with musical interests...it is who you are. Going to Europe is a problem? wow. Traveling is a good thing. Even if you went without her, time apart is a good thing too- it's healthy to be independant. She still loves her ex..unfortunately there's nothing you can do about that...that's for her to sort out.
You're beautiful! you should have no problem meeting women who will appreciate you. You seem like a good catch :)