If you are sure that you wont be able to make it for a friend's marriage - Is saying a polite but firm no is better or is it better to say yes or 'i'll try' but dont go and make an excuse
2006-06-18 08:27:48 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you can't go simply tell them. Don't make them wonder if you will show up! Getting married is stressful enough without wondering if your guests are going to show!!! They'll appreciate you telling them in advance you can't make it.
2006-06-19 02:35:58 · answer #1 · answered by sonik_starz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found, as it seems many have, that honesty is the best answer in more ways than one. The obvious reason is that you don't have to lie. You won't have to come up with an excuse for any reason. If you just say know that should suffice. You can give a reason but it is not required. Your friend should understand. You won't lose sleep, have to deal with the stress associated with telling a white lie, and your friendship should remain intact. Send a great gift, thank you card, regrets for not being able to attend, and of course congratulate your friend. Now this will all depend on whether or not you were invited as part of the wedding party or not. Good luck.
2006-07-01 20:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by Soulgovernor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never ever lie to a good friend. Especially about a wedding. Weddings are extremely expensive and if you say yes they are paying for you to be there. If you say no, you may have to deal with the hurt feelings of not being able to make it so make sure that missing the wedding is worth it, and the reason isn't to get your dog's nails painted or something stupid. But say no, that way you won't add the insult of making them pay for you and then simply not show up. That would just be one of the most inconsiderate things you could ever do to your friend.
2006-07-01 20:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by beethovenisdeaf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know why you cannot make it to their special day.
My cousin CHANGED her wedding date so her best friend could be there. Her friend was not going to be able to make it because her husband was being deployed that same day.
She moved the wedding up a week before her planned date...and we altered the dates on the already printed invitations with carefully trimmed computer labels.
Luckily the church and reception hall was available, and the caterer had a second staff available for the event.
Her husband was able to attend and he got a standing ovation...and a ride in the horse drawn carriage too!
Hopefully you have a good reason to miss the most important day in their lives....
2006-06-18 09:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by RecipeCollector 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The polite and firm no, followed by a nice gift is the best way to go.
Those planning weddings need as much certainty as possible in knowing who and how many to plan for. They have to make and commit money to their arrangements long in advance of the special day.
2006-06-18 09:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A firm but polite no is fine..ususally phrased as "I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it; but my best wishes wll be with you both". Send a nice card (and a gift if you can). No other explanations are required unless you've been asked to be IN the wedding party.
2006-06-18 09:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling the truth is always the best way to go. Your friend will not always understand but its better to just say no I cant and give the reason then to lie because you know you are going to get caught any way sooner or later because that's how it all works. Tell the truth its better in the long run.
2006-06-28 02:44:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
giving a firm no. if you give a yes then an excuse they will be disappointed and may not understand. If you say no, they will probably understand, but if they dont, at least they know not to expect you and wont spend their wedding day either looking for you.
2006-06-18 08:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by RockStarinTx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you won't be able to go, then just tell her you already have a prior engagement that precludes you from attending her wedding. But you better not be lying because if your friend finds out you lied and did not attend her wedding she will be very hurt and you will lose that person as a friend.
2006-06-30 12:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by Samba Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure - say no. There are headcounts involved, seating arrangements, etc - it's not a game its a wedding invitation, if you already have plans - say so.
The polite thing to do is to still send a card.
2006-06-26 04:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by dolphinchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. If this person truly is your friend, then you wouldn't want to lead them on and have them think their good friend is going to be there when in fact you know better. They will plan for you to be there, and will be hurt whenever you finally decide to tell them. (if at all....unless you actually plan on just not going and dealing with it later...trust me, not only does it hurt the other person, it will hurt you too if this person is really a friend.)
2006-06-29 11:57:43 · answer #11 · answered by Beck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋