Who has the best joke here? 10 points!!?

Question

If you have the best joke then I will give you the 10 points!!!!!!

Answer 1

How about this joke: A blonde is walking down the sidewalk near a busy street when she sees a brunette just standing there saying, "88, 88, 88..." The blonde walks up to the brunette and asks her what she is doing. The brunette says "Oh, I'm just counting. Do you want to too?" The blonde says yes, and the blonde and the brunette both stand on the sidewalk saying, "88, 88, 88..." Finally the brunette says, "You know, counting is even more fun if you go out in the middle of the street." So the blonde goes out in the middle of the street and starts counting, "88, 88, 88..." SPLAT! The blonde gets hit by a car. And back on the sidewalk the brunette smiles and says, "89, 89, 89..."

Answer 2

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration, the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arrived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said,
''I told you to give each Elmo two test tickles,
not two testicles!!''

Answer 3

The Horth Withperer

Bob calls his Buddy Sam, the horse rancher,
and says he's sending a Friend over to look
over a horse.

Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"

That's easy he's a midget with a speech
impediment.

So the midget shows up, and asks him if he's
looking for a male or a female?

The midget says a female horth.

So he shows him a prize filly.

Nith looking horth says the midget. Can I
thee her eyeth?

Sam picks up the midget and he give the eyes
a good look over.

Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth? So he picks
the little fella up again and shows the horse's
ears.

Nith earzth , can I thee her mouf?

The rancher is gettin pretty ticked of by this
point,but he picks him up again and shows him
the horses mouth.

Nice mouth, can I thee her ****?

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him
under his arms and rams the midget's head as far a
as he can up the horses **** he pulls him out and
slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

Perhapth I should rephase that. Can I thee her
run awound a widdle bit

Answer 4

Yo mama so ugly, you have to feed her with a Frisbee.

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

There were 2 blonde's, and a red head hanging from a tree. The branch was going to break if two of them didn't let go. So the red head said, "Well girls, we have been close, and we have been great friends. We have gone through ordeals together, but this is different. I just wanted to say that you two are the greatest friends a girl could ever have." The two blonde's were so moved that they gave a round of applause.

Yo mama so stupid, she stole a free cookie.

Answer 5

how do you keep a black man from drowning? take your foot off his head.yo momma so nasty she has more rappers in her than an ipod.yo momma so nasty i have to whipe my feet.........when i go outside.yo momma house so nasty i walked in and thought i was in the twilight zone.

a blonde was in a corn field in a row boat when two blondes drove by in a car the man said its blondes like this that give us a bad name yea said the woman if i coukd swim id walk out there and drown her.
yo momma so fat when she goes backwards a beeper comes on.yo momma so poor she walks in the front door falls out the back.what kind out house does a single teenager live in?virgin mobile.i couldve been your daddy but the monkey in front of me didnt use a condemn. Yo' mama so nasty, I asked what was for dinner and she spread her legs and said "Crabs!" alright one more joke



you might be a redneck if your childs first words are attention k-mart shoppers

Answer 6

A man came after a weekend of drinking and partying with his friends. His wife was furious. She asked "How would you feel if you didn't see me for a few days?" He replied, "That'd be just fine with me."

Monday came and went and he didn't see her.
Tuesday came and went and he still didn't see her.
Wednesday, the same.
Thursday the swelling in his eyes had went down enough to where he could make out her face.

Answer 7

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ***!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Answer 8

Yo mamas so fat she asked for a water bed and they put 1000 blankets over the atlantic ocean.

Yo mamas so fat she wears two watches cause she covers two time zones.

Answer 9

Speedy Grandma

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding
>
>Older Woman: Oh, I see.
>
>Officer: Can I see your license please?
>
>Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
>
>Officer: Don't have one?
>
>Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
>
>Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
>
>Older Woman: I can't do that.
>
>Officer: Why not?
>
>Older Woman: I stole this car.
>
>Officer: Stole it?
>
>Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
>
>Officer: You what?
>
>Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
want to see.
>
>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls
>for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer
>slowly approaches the car, clasping his half! drawn gun.
>
>Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
>steps out of her vehicle.
>
>Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
>
>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
and
>murdered the owner.
>
>Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
>
>Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
>
>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
>
>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>
>Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
quite
>
>stunned.
>
>Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
>license.
>
>The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it
>to the officer.
>
>The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
>
>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a
>license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
the
>owner.
>
>Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Answer 10

ur momma's so dumb that when the judge said order in the court she said ill have a burger and fries