The problem is about the only time I see them is when they want something. What should I do?
2006-06-18 04:46:58 · 24 answers · asked by bwadsp 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
its much easier to manipulate daddy then mom!
2006-06-18 04:49:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm in the same boat. It's called play one against the other. My son is so 2-faced when it comes to me and my x=husband. He tells me one thing and his Dad the other. I have stopped because he and his girlfriend were draining me.They also had 2 kids and are not married and expect me to take care of them and also pay for things. Now they are mad cause I have had a back injury since I was in a horse accident when I was 13 and say I never help them cause of it.Bull, I have done more for them than his Dad and my husband raised him and gave him expensive gifts and was their for him but now he hates my husband and hangs with his real Dad that he never saw til he was 16. I say cut em off its time to grow up cause just because money is made from paper doesn't mean it grows on trees !
2006-06-18 11:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by ₦âħí»€G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a course in parenting. Why don't you see them more often? Take them out to do some activities kids enjoy. Find out exactly what they need the money for. Go out with them and buy what they need if you have to but don't give them money unless it's for school or something important. Once they see that you aren't a bank they will stop.
2006-06-18 11:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are they? If they are old enough to work, they should be earning their own money and you are not doing them any favors just handing it to them. Next time they want money give them a list of chores and tell them when they have completed the list you will give them $ --- whatever you think is fair and don't overpay them either because that is not helping them. They might be getting put up to getting money from you for their mom. Tell them it would be nice to see them when they were coming to visit YOU and not your wallet! Good Luck!
2006-06-18 11:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by cherryred64gto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because you have stopped really talking to your children..Try to express your feelings to them and say how you feel about being only "their bank"..Tell them also, what kind of relationship you would like to have with your children. You have to offer them something in order to get respect from them. Apologize them, if there is something to apologize about (but I'm sure there is). They should really feel that you're sorry. They don't trust you anymore because might it be that you ignored them. You have to build their trust again from the beginning and without rushing..
Parents believe that their children will love them unconditionally what ever they do. It's simply not true. If you acted badly toward them, then you should take your responsibility.
2006-06-18 12:07:58 · answer #5 · answered by Psychologist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate with Mummy more. In order to prevent the children from not being spoilt and playing you off against one another, you're going to have to bite your tongue and talk to her and come to some arrangement.
2006-06-18 11:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by peaco1000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to their mother, to see if she knows they are asking you. Reach an agreement with her and then both of you talk to the kids together. If they are young, they are doing what all kids do, ask for money. If they are in there teens or older they are playing you and their mother against each other.
2006-06-18 11:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never give money...you may wish to help out by buying things but only if you have real money! They could bleed you dry at this rate.
Sad I know but who knows, it might strengthen your relationship and it certainly can not make it worse!
2006-06-18 11:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ade Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is true they call are come by or you get a phone call late at night needing money to get out of jail because they forgot to pay for there fine at the court House. it happens to us all we now say when they call how money is tied up.SORRY.
2006-06-18 11:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by gbinnicker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should approach them and spend some time with them. its not just up to them to come to you. Be their friend as well as a dad. Nothing wrong with kids wanting money. You want money don't you? well, so do they.
2006-06-18 11:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's not about money at all, they are looking for you to do your parenting. If they are feeling you are not doing that, they may be doing this cause it's TIME you parented.
Or the mother is telling them to ask you for money. you ARE their father.
2006-06-18 11:51:07 · answer #11 · answered by Jas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋