i met my real father w/ i was 30. we had a sexual relationship am i 2 blame, i was abused as a child/same way?

Question

when i was abused as a child, all i wanted was a dad 2 help me & love me. when i met my dad 1st time i thought i was in heaven. i would ve done anything 2 keep him in my life.and i did. i know deep down i was wrong, but if u hve been abused, u know ur mind is kinda screwy in the 1st place. and is there a statue of limitations on sueing him, 4 messing it up completely?

Answer 1

Given that you were sexually abused it is not surprising you had a sexual relationship with your father. When sexual abuse happens a person's sense of themselves, esteem, their understanding of healthy boundaries are completely screwed up. This is why THERAPY is SO important. You cannot blame yourself for what happened with your father. Your need to want to do anything to keep him comes as a product of your earlier abuse. The line between appropriate and inappropriate - and being able to say NO - got lost when it happened to you earlier. Generally people who go on for years without help will find themselves in positions where they are taken advantage of (and allow that to happen - because they don't realize it at the time) and until you get the help - this will continue to happen.

Shame is a huge piece of this. Your father is an adult too and he should have known better (if not more) than to have sex with his own daughter. You cannot blame yourself. It sounds like you need to do a lot of forgiving of yourself. Please go and get some help - if you don't you will continue to live in this cycle of pain and shame and only you will be to blame. What happened to you was awful - but you are an adult now and have the means to get the help you couldn't when you were younger. There are many support groups that are free, and counselling offered - talk to friends - your doctor - look in the phone book and call up different places. Ask lots of questions. In the meantime you can't change what happened with your father - you made a mistake - but YOU are NOT a mistake. Stop being hard on yourself. The past is the past - try and put it there for a while and go and focus on your own healing. Most of all try and have compassion for yourself. We all have our scars and things to heal - you are not alone.

Answer 2

man all i can say is i hope u be alright u have got to be feeling rough or doing even more crazy stuff. i think if u have not already take note of ur self and how u feel inside and understand that our emotions feels the same no matter what or who we are with. So with that said dint let ur emotions totally run the show. everything starts with u like u are blaming ur self that is natural. u trying to sue him is way letting ur emotions run the show..just let it go cause long as u fight more u going feel emotional blame.

Answer 3

i assume this grandpa is your mom's father? perchance in case you imagine about that you're going to understand the position her feeling come from. have you ever tried any professional counseling for this remember? perchance that ought to help you deal with it rather more effective positive. it ought to also help in the journey that your mom would comply with three counseling also. the clarification for your problem is not any longer round to reason you any destiny discomfort. you pick to locate some variety of way of handling it so as that it doesn't tear your relationship including your mom aside. i comprehend I probable do not sound like I sympathize with you yet I do. that is in simple terms I hate to work out your relatives chop up aside. i'm a huge fan of speaking over our issues and looking out an common floor answer. good success

Answer 4

being abused as a child really screws a person up i suggest getting into counseling and talk with a lawyer about filing charges

Answer 5

You need professional help if this is a real call for help.

Answer 6

you made the choice, i dont think you could press charges anyway. since you are 30.

Answer 7

seek some mental health help, then some legal ,then try GOD!