is it compalsary for the husbend to be older than his wife?how older he should be? give psychological reason?

Question

can u please give the psychological relationship about the age differences of married couple and their relationship.if at all husbend is older than his wife by 10years how will be their undestanding levels?is it preferable to have 5-6 years of age difference?

Answer 1

I don't believe that there are any hard and fast rules about age differences or even who should be the older partner in a marriage; there are social considerations, depending on your culture or the country you live in, but it basically comes down to just the two people involved.

I am ten years older than my husband, and we were raised in vastly differing social structures. Before we married I thought that this could be a problem, but because of the relationship we have of mutual respect, it has honestly never been an issue.

In centuries past, it was important that the male be older and more experienced in life so that he had the life skills necessary to provide for and protect his wife and family, and she preferrably being young enough to bear him several children. He didn't care if she was intelligent, and often preferred that she was not more educated than he was.

Then, as society advanced and life became less dependent on hunting and gathering skills, you'll see that the gap in ages between married couples began to shorten, and often there were only a few years between their ages, the men still being slightly older. This was often manifested in maturity levels and the means to provide a wife with the comforts of life. They would expect fewer children, so the wife didn't need to be as young. Women have historically wanted a man they could depend on and look up to, both emotionally and intellectually. Men often didn't want a women whom he felt was "smarter" than he was, and her youth played a part in keeping his male ego intact.

Today, with both sexes often working to support the family, age isn't nearly as important an issue, and everything comes down to equality and the strength of your relationship. While men often don't care if their wife isn't as educated as they are, they have begun to value a woman's intelligence, and look at that with more importance than her life experience or the amount of time she's put in here on Earth.

So in today's society, the age difference will only matter to the two people involved, manifested primarily by how you relate to each other. Does one partner feel the need to constantly teach the other? Look down on the other because they are younger and haven't experienced as much? This would not be a strong foundation for building a marriage. While it's all well and good for one partner to be more learned or experienced, and use those tools for the betterment of the family in general, the skills and experience of the other partner should be recognized as just as valuable to the family. They need to be equal emotionally, to keep a balance that will make the marriage work for the good of both of them.

My husband and I are equals, but we came to this marriage with completely differing skills. For instance, I am good with money, and he can fix absolutely anything. This is just one example, but we both contribute wholly to the marriage and our commitment to achieve the life that we want. The difference in our ages doesn't matter one little bit, and that, my friend, is the bottom line.

I hope this was at least a little bit of help to you in your search for understanding.

Answer 2

I have heard that girls mature earlier than the boys, that's why, having a gap of few years, and the husband being elder, will result in better understanding between them.

Still, trends are changing. U can share a comfort level with any age-group, even if ur wife is 10 years younger.......or older! All u need is a heart of gold. Satisfy ur wife and she will not stray away.

The age of wives are kept lower due to some biological/medical reason too. Older women may face problems in conceiving.

Answer 3

My spouse is 6 years older than me, even though he is book smart, I have more common sense and "street" sense than he does. So really the age difference doesn't matter. What matters is your mental age. You can be 30 years old and have the mentality of a teenager or you can be 12 and have the mentality of a 21 year old.

Answer 4

I think when you find the man you love and want to marry age has no meaning. I am 4 years older than my husband. We have been happily married for 12 years now.

Answer 5

lol.. every1 knows that girls are being mature earlier than boys do.. look around us..we'll surely say that the boy about to 8 to 10 yrs older than a girl understands girls all things instead of 1 to 5 yrs... and the most imp thing in marriage life is understanding and love between husband and wife... actually in my culture... the relation between younger boy than a girl is always as son-mother or brother-sister... lol but if there is love between two people without understanding is not gonna stay longer... love is life long thing but absence of love is gonna make quarrel between people....

Answer 6

I'm 18 months older than my husband and we're doing fine. We've been married 12+ years.

Answer 7

not necessarily