What would you do?

Question

One of my son's freinds came to me yesterday needing to talk.he is 10 yo.He told me that another freind of my son was molesting my daughter.I asked my daughter,3yo,if anyone has touched her anywhere that mommy told her was private.She said yes,but in front of the other mothers when we had a meeting about it she then said no.Im still going to the docter to get her checked,but im worried about what it might have done to her.For some reason i dont want to beleive this is happening to me and mine,im confused.We did get the boys to admit to kissing her.The boys ages involved are 10,and 8 years of age.I think its too soon for this kind of activity to even be going on at all.Please give me some ideas,other thoughts,and things to do about this!!!

Answer 1

I really, really feel for your dilemma. It is natural to want to believe it didn't happen, I can certainly empathize. If it hadn't happened, you wouldn't have to deal with the consequences to your daughter and for your son (you don't mention him much, but you have to accept, whatever occurred, HE was the portal and catalyst for your girl's victimization). I think you need to talk with either Children and Family Services, or the Police, or a Sexual Assault Center locally. I know this sounds scary, but they can best advise and conduct any future inquiry of your daughter to find out what happened. Your questions of her are absolutely well-meaning, but you may be unwittingly molding her answers or creating a memory in her that isn't entirely accurate. She needs to be qestioned and treated by professionals now, and the entire family will likely be involved. Please know you are not a bad parent, but now is the tough time that you will need to step up to the plate and do what is right by both of them. It will not go away, and the choices you make now are crucial for your family integrity and for both of their utures. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

I think the bigger deal you make of it, the more traumatic this will be for your daughter. Face it- 10 year old boys are stupid and obnoxious. What they did was wrong, and they Should know better, but maybe they don't. The bright side is that it could have been worse. Lightly explain to your daughter that boys should not kiss little girls until they are much older, and she shouldnt let anyone touch her in inappropriate ways. Don't, however, act as if this is a huge issue and she needs to fear all boys for the rest of her life. If you brush it off as much as possible, chances are she won't even remember this in her later years. Since you have already had a meeting with parents, and taken her to the doctor, she might already be feeling like a big tragedy has occurred, OR she may not really have any idea what is going on. Try to downplay it as much as possible and assure her that routine trips to the doctor are no cause for alarm.
Next, you need to have a talk with all of these boys and make sure they get these ideas out of their heads.

Answer 3

First, don't let her out of your sight for a few more years. I know its nice to have the older watch her, but suddenly it no longer sounds safe. I'd also say something to those parents and ask them to stop hanging around your kids. If you don't want to call the cops, then you need to sever ties with those kids totally. Its not safe for your daughter to be around them, and it sends your son the message that what they did was very wrong and unacceptable. With all the attention that has been made of this, she might need therapy, or someone to talk to that can do a good job of explaning the private areas that are just hers and not to share with others. But I'd definatelt start with not letting her out of that house without you. And where was the child when this happened? Was she in your house or with her brother? You need to address that too and make sure those boys are gone from the picture and your daughter knows that the boys did bad.

Answer 4

you have already started to do the right things by talking to her and taking her to the doctor. now i wouldnt get too worried, she is young and can heal emotionally because she is so young. thats the good part (if any). just love her and make sure to keep any of thse kids away from her forever. they must be pretty mesed up to be doing that! i was molested as a young person by my sisters friend. and i have lived a normal life. and being that your daughter is so young she will never have any memories unless you put them there! so move on and make sure she is safe as much as possible. just love her and move on. chances this will prob. be more disturbing to you than her for life. god bless

Answer 5

docter to get her checked,but im worried about what it might have done to her.For some reason i dont want to beleive this is happening to me and mine,im confused.We did get the

Answer 6

I have lived through this before and I can tell you that sometimes children are too intimidated with some people which in basic words means that they won't tell certain people what is going on in their heads, the best you can do is go to the doctors and tell someone who is an expert in this field. I wish you the best in solving this problem................................good luck.

Answer 7

DON"T LET YOUR BOY HANG OUT WITH HIM!
He is going to take after his friends! Be careful!
And I don't know what you can do legally, but you should tell his mother after you see the doctor to verify everything!
Good Luck!

Answer 8

well... the only truthful and straight forward advice is that u have to see the doctor in the next second... otherwise it might be disastrous...