i have been living with my mother in law for the past 6 years coz i have no chose,she wants to live with us and my husband wants her as well.can't cope anymore.What do i do Help me please,im going crazy.
2006-06-18 02:56:40 · 13 answers · asked by neha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi.
I know the feeling you are up against.I am living my mother-in-law, and it is hard having a life . We haven't been able to go on any trips by ourselves and just go out for dinner in a date.
She is 96 now, has alzheimer's and she doesn't remember her son very well, or any other family member, I help her most of the time with her pills and getting her meals ready, telling her the same answers she asked a few minutes ago and making sure that she doesn't have a fall by going down the stairs, she has a walker now and yes she doesn't use it have the time to keep her balance. I have lived with her all my married life with her son my husband and it is hard on our daughter. We have been married almost 20 years and well you have to learn to take it with a crain of salt. You will have to take the brunt sarcasms and be picked on and such. I have watched this lady grow from an adult to a young child again having to reteach her memory of things that have she has forgotten about the family she has. She has been helpful in telling me what my husband was like when he was younger and what his dad's family was like, and also her side of the family. I am doing family genealogy and now I have lost some memories of the family members of long ago and she doesn't remember the faces of pictures she has. So take what you have of your mother-in-law and cherish the memories she has of your husband when she tells you what he did when he was little and of her own family tree, you will be able to tell her when she gets older and can't remember what she had. You will be the one who will be able to tell her about herself and be proud of it. I miss the festiness that she had and now she is really slowing down and yes it is hard to take care of her, but she is a human being. Take one day at a time and take it with pride. It is hard on my husband and yes he is the one that takes it hard seeing his mother with alzheimer's . It is hard losing someone to alzheimer's and hopefully the pamphlets will help. Get help and talk to your husband and tell him that you want to talk about things. Don't let him shut you out about things about your mother-in-law.
Sorry for the misspelt words I have had a chance to use the computer while she is sleeping and I listen for her to see if there are any problems upstairs. So far so good.
Take care. and big hugs for you. Good luck
2006-06-18 03:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
You know the only way things can workout is if you become her friend and spend time with your mother in law. Now, if your mother in law has new grandchildren and you don't then most likely she will spend more time with the other daughter in law. even though you and her used to get along and have a nice relationship, and even if the other daughter in law for sure hated your mother in law but now needs her so they are besties.. so your relationship with her becomes distant.. oh here comes the cold water, if your a student studying to be a medical professional you know that the only break you get its when youre sleeping if you get to sleep or when youre showering.. If you have that little time to do anything you know you just want time with yourself or husband... so your mother in law doesn't understand that.. Instead she dissed you.. You know at the end of the day.. be in love and happy with your husband.. screw everyone else.. you cannot please them and you shouldn't try to...
2016-05-11 08:29:05 · answer #2 · answered by gamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry. I would die if I had to live with my in-laws. You get big time brownie points for lasting so long. You should talk to your husband and let him know that you are miserable and It's time for MAMA to get packing! She really should be on her own. She needs independence and friends of her own so she's not completely dependent on you and your husband. Deep down she's probably miserable too. You all need your own space. If he cant let mama go, maybe you should. It really upsets me to see a man take his mother over his wife. In that case there are some serious umbilical cord issues. Good luck and best wishes. I hope everything works out for all of you.
2006-06-18 03:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you own your home, perhaps a solution is to build a little studio flat for her, say over the garage. Or if you don't/can't build, perhaps you can find a little studio not far from your home. That may be the best solution. Or move to a place where you can have a home for yourselves and a small one for her nearby.
This way, she will be close to your husband and he won't feel any guilt for being far from her, and you can both have your space. And your husband can pop by to see her as often as he wants, she can come over from time to time but has her space to return to leaving you in your home.
2006-06-18 03:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by Amber B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's same problem with me as well i know it's really difficult. I mean i have spent 15 days with my mum in law and i cant tolerate her anymore i don't know how ur baring this since 6 years. See you have to be strong. If she do something wrong with u, u have to answer her straight away. Because these kind of mum in laws just try to walked over u. And you should speak to ur husband. but it depends is he with u or with ur mum in law. If u have more question u can mail me. i m facing the same situation.
2006-06-18 03:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have leaved with my mother-in-law for 31years and there were go times and bad but now she lives in nurening home and I miss her and thankgod she there and not here because now I look forward to seeing her so what I am saying is hang in there things change so fast in life try to talk with husband and find away to get him to help you with this if not tell them we need to talk and work this out
2006-06-18 03:06:44 · answer #6 · answered by Cynthia L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. You can not let another women come in your home and run your household. You don't have to be mean, just be upfront about it. There is a right way to do everything. This is your house and if you do not speak up now then you won't be able to speak up later.
2006-06-18 04:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by mamasita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is horrible to live with mother in law. Toka Taki never ends.
2006-06-18 03:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh man, you gotta tell your hubby how you feel, it would drive me absolutely insane , start talking about a home or a care home for her because you cant handle it you guys have to live your lives and you cant with her there all the time. good luck
2006-06-18 03:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor thing! You should tell your Husband she has a month to find somewhere else to live,and if he does not like it his mother should find somewhere with 2 bedrooms and he can go with her!
2006-06-18 03:02:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋