My husband got a job offer in Afghanistan doing plumbing he will be gone for 3 mts to a yr if he is there for just the 3 mts it pays 24,000 dollars if he is there for a yr its a lot more than that not sure of exact figures but we would be able to get our house paid for and have a lot left over do you think this is a good idea if not why....... he wants to go and has already got his passport but he don't leave until 7/10 so its not to late we have 4 kids one of them only 4 will she forget about him and how can i stop this from happening i thought about getting him on video camera so i can play it for her but someone said she would miss him a lot more if i do this I just don't know what to do any advice please would be helpful in making me feel better about this.
2006-06-18 02:29:05 · 12 answers · asked by wendytyo 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
In the grand scheme of things a year is not a long time, and it seems like your family will benefit monetraily in a good way from the experience. As for your child, children are very resillient at that age, but if it were me I would make audio tapes to send home at least once a month. Reaffirming that Daddy is ok and loves you very much. Hope this helps.
2006-06-18 02:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Create something that will link your family together even though he's going to be so far away.
If you don't already have them, purchase a laptop computer for him to take with him and a home computer for your family. Equip them both with a webcam. This will benefit everyone. He can see you and the children. You and the kids can see him.
Create a specific calender schedule where the whole family gets together at the respective computers and shares. Make this a ritual. Make it the most important parts of your lives. The kids will know that daddy hasn't abandoned them. Dad will know that he's more than just a paycheck, and you'll have some inner peace knowing that for that moment, he's okay.
While he's gone, document everything. Take way more pictures and video than you normally would. Write him letters even if you don't mail them. Keep a journal of your time apart and have him do the same.
Hopefully, when it's all over, he'll have some interesting stories to tell, you'll all have alot of catching up to do and the financial benefit will show itself making things easier for your family.
Good luck.
2006-06-18 03:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by slagathor238 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids won't forget about him. My husband is in the military and gone for a year at a time; our kids are 5 and 3 and just fine.
You should get a video camera and make a video of your husband before he leaves; he should send the kids pictures of where he lives over there, and whatever presents he can get; he should send them letters and talk to them on the phone, and they should make him things and send them as well. You can't possibly make your kids miss their dad any more than they will anyway. You have to recognize that they DO miss him, and do everything you can to keep him a part of their lives. Everything you possibly can think of.
I'm obviously not one to talk, my husband being in the military, but I think if you have a choice, then it's best not to go through this separation. If it will make a tremendous long term difference for your family, though, like being able to pay off your mortgage--as my husband's decision to join the Army has done for our family--you might consider it worthwhile. I'm not crazy about being an Army wife, but I can't deny everything it's done for us.
Try to talk to some of the other employees of your husband's company who have gone through this, and talk to their families. You will need their support and they will be able to let you know what you're really getting into. It's hard to understand until you've really been through it.
2006-06-18 03:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I bought video cameras before he left. He made each of our kids (5 and 3 months) their own special tape. My 5 year old asks to watch it constantly since his dad reads him a bedtime story on it. We watch my daughters all the time and I honestly believe that she knows that he is her dad. You just have to talk to the kids about it to help them understand. It will be alot of work for you to do taking care of the kids by yourself but if you are a strong person it will go just fine. This is my husbands second deployment in 3 years and he just signed up for another 6. There are many benefits to him doing this. You will have to make the final desicion about what is best for you and your family. If he does go I recommend getting the book a very long time. It just helps put things in perspective for the kids. Take care and god bless.
2006-06-18 07:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by SSG wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good accountant & watch your taxes when he gets done, but it's a good gig in Afghan, maybe not in Iraq. Take the money & run. They do a good job with contractors having time off & access to email & such. If he does go for a year he probably will get a couple chances to come home, but that depends on the company policy. Make sure he'd be working for a good company that'll protect him right.
2006-06-18 21:30:41 · answer #5 · answered by djack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is regularly deployed on Operational Tours. That is his job and he HAS to go but there is absolutely no way that we would be seperated from each other by choice purely for economic reasons! Afghanistan is a dangerous place, not somewhere where anyone would voluntarily choose to go, especially not a man with a young family. Think carefully about what matters, and think of other ways of making money. Perhaps you could step up your career? or he could look for a better job. Choosing to put him in danger and to deprive young children of their Father is not the way.
2006-06-18 09:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband went to Iraq when our son was 3 months old. If you're worried about your daughter forgetting daddy, have him record himself telling her a bedtime story (video tape is great but audio tapes work well, if only using audio, show his pic as he talks) and always talk about daddy to her. My son, knew who his daddy was even though he was an infant when he left. If all of us military spouse can handle it, you can too. Remember, what he's getting paid for 3 months work, is what my husband gets in about 10 months. Just make sure you have a good support system at home. If you need someone to talk to, you are welcomed to e-mail me. Good luck!!!
2006-06-18 06:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by proud_usmc_wife04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids (and you) need him more then they do in Afghanistan. Tell him so. Good luck and God bless.
2006-06-18 02:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by angelpockets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a military question but good luck if he goes.
2006-06-18 02:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is getting paid and the troops will try to protect him
2006-06-18 02:34:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋